pinkstar Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I met this guy 5 months ago over internet...we started to chat alot and unfortunately I got so attached to him...Im not sure if he feels the same for me or not...the point is, every time we talk, he likes to drag our discussion to sex issues...and I really do not appreciate that...I still like this guy very much...he is smart, good looking, and everything I was also looking for in a partner...he said he did not have any girlfriends, but I can not really believe...he even said he had sex with different girls, but no committment to them...I really can not understand...some times I think he is just looking for self satisfaction ....and never think seriously about our relationship...We live so far from each other and almost impossible to meet...I really do not know how to free myself from this relationship...IM not couragous enough to end this relation ship and Im fed up with his requests over webcam...that I never did for him...I hope you can advise me...
TMichaels Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 O.K., think of it this way... If you met and was seeing this guy in real life and all he ever wanted to talk about or convince you to do was "talk sex," disrobe and/or masturbate in front of him, how "attractive" would he be to you then? I bet you'd tell him to get lost in a New York Minute. He doesn't respect you or your feelings at all and he's already made it clear what kind of relationship he's looking for... So, get a grip on your self-respect before he robs you of any more of it and boot his sorry @ss to the curb, post haste. Best, TMichaels
northstar1 Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 More than likely he is using these convos and chats to get himself turned on. If you haven't met, and likely aren't going to meet, and this is how he acts, what is the point of continuing this? Find yourself a nice guy locally who will respect you.
Island Girl Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 O.K., think of it this way... If you met and was seeing this guy in real life and all he ever wanted to talk about or convince you to do was "talk sex," disrobe and/or masturbate in front of him, how "attractive" would he be to you then? I bet you'd tell him to get lost in a New York Minute. He doesn't respect you or your feelings at all and he's already made it clear what kind of relationship he's looking for... So, get a grip on your self-respect before he robs you of any more of it and boot his sorry @ss to the curb, post haste. Best, TMichaels THIS. Oh and if it were me I'd call him out on the "always talking sex talk" and let him know there is nothing he has said or done that leaves me wanting to go down that road. And if that was his intent by all of it -- he's SADLY LACKING.
Author pinkstar Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 Thanks for your help...I never thaught about it...you are absolutely right... To be honest, as you mentioned, he asked me several times to masterbate in front of webcam for him...and I never never accepted...He tried to convince me ...but although I really liked him I couldn't do that...the point is I have become also pessimist toward all men...I think that there are these kinds of desires in all of them and I really hate that...today after reading all your posts...I think less about him...even tried to avoid him and didn't talk to him...I thank you all for your advices and I hope I can quit compeltely this stupid relationship...Im suffering so much...and can't stop thinking about him sleeping with other girls ( as he himself told me he does)...it's my second problem ...
Bayern Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Or maybe that is just how he is. Ask about meeting and if he flips out when you bring it up and doesn't seem to be interested then you may have your answer. No distance is impossible.
Author pinkstar Posted August 19, 2009 Author Posted August 19, 2009 Hey guys. Thanks for all your help. From the time , you advised me ...I tried just to avoid him...There is an attraction and repulsion at the same time in me toward him...I just talked to him once after all your comments and it was just few mins, since we were both at work and busy...although I did not talk to him in these 2 weeks, but can't stop thinking about him...Im confused...Im angry some times with him and his actions...some times I really think I am really in love with him and can't forget all his complements...then I remember you all told me he did not respect women..then I hate him...Im really really confused and do not know what to do...again..I need your help...tell me how I can end this relationship...or understand what his intentions are...
Author pinkstar Posted September 20, 2009 Author Posted September 20, 2009 Or maybe that is just how he is. Ask about meeting and if he flips out when you bring it up and doesn't seem to be interested then you may have your answer. No distance is impossible. So, one month has passed from my last post here and the things have changed. I am leaving my home country and about to start a new life some where else in this world which is not impossible for both of us to meet. I already informed him about my new situation and never never asked him to travel to this new country which I will be in next month and stay there for some years. I never liked to beg men to keep the relationship and would prefer them to say if they are interested. The update is I had missed him a lot about 1 month ago since he did not show up over internet. so, I sent him an email and told him that I wish he had spent a good time since he had his summer holidays at work and he replied back that he just spent his time with family and friend. Then, unexpectedly, he wrote me back in the email that he was still single and thinking to fly to new country Im about to leave and meet me over there...he even said he missed me so much and thaught about me alot... So, I thaught about 1 day how to reply him back then finally I said I would be happy he ever thaught about meeting in person, since it was the first time he talked about it....and I tried to be more open and said how much I missed him ...the point is, from the time I sent this email..he didn't reply me back and even did not come online(one month now). I saw him just once online he came about 2 mins and signed out immediately....So I know he is alive and nothing has happened to him... Im even angry and trying very hard not to contact any more...unless he messages me or writes me an email....What do u suggest?
TMichaels Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 Im even angry and trying very hard not to contact any more...unless he messages me or writes me an email....What do u suggest? pinkstar, Same thing you were told the first time: FORGOT THIS LOSER and get on with your life. He's not worth the time of day, and if anything, you ought to be spending time asking *yourself* why you persist being interested in someone who clearly has no serious interest in you. Best, TMichaels
Island Girl Posted September 20, 2009 Posted September 20, 2009 I thank you all for your advices and I hope I can quit compeltely this stupid relationship...Im suffering so much. Here is the advice you seek. You need to FORGET HIM. It isn't a real relationship and never has been. Contacting him again was a mistake and now you are wrapped up again in a fantasy of your own making. Please stop this self destructive behavior and, as TM said, focus on why you would try to find justification to stay involved with him at all. It would seem to me to be a self esteem issue but only you really know why you would continue to pursue someone who is not into you.
Author pinkstar Posted September 21, 2009 Author Posted September 21, 2009 You need to FORGET HIM. It isn't a real relationship and never has been. Thanks again and again...You are the best advisors I never had. I could never share this experience with anyone. Since, I myself know it is not logical but as you said, Im trapped in the fantasy world. I will try to forget him although it takes time for sure.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 21, 2009 Posted September 21, 2009 He is your garden variety dude trolling for cyber sex. Move on!
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