Green Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Is there a double standard depending on what gender you are when it comes to the subject of cheating?
Thaddeus Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 There are double standards under every rock, for any excuse, in any context. If a man cheats, men will say, "Well, obviously he wasn't getting what he needed at home so he had to go outside of marriage." Women will say, "He's a miserable creep who should be castrated." If a woman cheats, women will say, "He just wasn't man enough for her/he wasn't emotionally supportive/she needed to spread her wings." Men will say, "She's using him for a bank machine while bonking someone else and is going to destroy him financially in divorce court." Variations on those themes abound. So, yes, there are double standards everywhere. And they're harmful to all.
Author Green Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 Would you say the media (movies & TV, ect) have chosen sides?
Thaddeus Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Would you say the media (movies & TV, ect) have chosen sides?Depends on the program. The "Sex and the City," "Desperate Housewives" and "The View" crowd would have you believe that women can do no wrong. Not surprising, really. They're appealing to their advertisers' audience. And since most of the discretionary household income in North America is controlled by women, that only makes sense. TV is rife with the stereotypical 'dumb guy' (According to Jim, Raymond, Frasier, etc etc) and the 'hero' woman who pulls his bacon out of the fire with insipid regularity. It's a type of misandry that often goes unnoticed because it's thinly veiled as comedy. That's not to say that there aren't stereotypes of women played out in the media (Mad Men). It's just that middle-aged men, specifically middle-aged white men, can really do nothing right in the way they're portrayed in TV.
TaraMaiden Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I notice it. And it's execrably unforgivable. Just as it was unforgivable when women were portrayed in this way, continuously. It went on much longer for women though, before it became politically incorrect and swung the other way. Too far, I might add.
Author Green Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 So does portraying men as stupid have to do with Cheating and Gender? are you guys sugesting that its something alond the lines of Men cheat cause they are stupid and get cheated on for that same reason
sally4sara Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I always thought the double standard was thinking cheating was normal or expected for men but abnormal for women. The holding of one gender to a higher standard of actions. Like a man can and should have many partners, but a woman should only have one; her husband.
Thaddeus Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 So does portraying men as stupid have to do with Cheating and Gender? are you guys sugesting that its something alond the lines of Men cheat cause they are stupid and get cheated on for that same reasonWell, not exactly. Men in the media are often portrayed as weak, simple-minded lummoxes (is that a word?). The whole cheating scenario is just another facet of that; that they're not strong enough to keep their wick dry even if they're in a committed relationship.
Woggle Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 No matter who cheats the man will be blamed and women will be treated as innocent victims who are never wrong. The man will usually get some speech about her father cheating on her mother so he just needs to put up with it.
alexlakeman Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 There are double stsandards for everything in life: white vs blacks, women vs men, etc... As an example the english language doesn't have a word for a man that sleeps with too many women or "cheats"... for women, it's called a slut... edit Yeah, and if I was a woman, I would be a major slut ... women have it easier than men to pick up ..
Author Green Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 I always thought the double standard was thinking cheating was normal or expected for men but abnormal for women. The holding of one gender to a higher standard of actions. Like a man can and should have many partners, but a woman should only have one; her husband. I think there is a realistic double standard that literaly exists... and that is women can get pregnant. But other then that why do you think it is more ok for men to lie acording to ur observations, you know say things will be monogomouse(sry for my spelling) Well, not exactly. Men in the media are often portrayed as weak, simple-minded lummoxes (is that a word?). The whole cheating scenario is just another facet of that; that they're not strong enough to keep their wick dry even if they're in a committed relationship. But you could also make an arguement that women are portrayed often as pieces of meat (sexualized) what does it all mean? No matter who cheats the man will be blamed and women will be treated as innocent victims who are never wrong. The man will usually get some speech about her father cheating on her mother so he just needs to put up with it. Definetly heard of this kind of things and to a degree seen it in my life but for the most part people blame the cheater... do you really disagree that for the most part people and the group of friends, and children if they exist will blame the cheater?
Woggle Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I don't believe that people will blame the cheater. Most of the time women will side with women.
Author Green Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 There are double stsandards for everything in life: white vs blacks, women vs men, etc... As an example the english language doesn't have a word for a man that sleeps with too many women or "cheats"... for women, it's called a slut... edit Yeah, and if I was a woman, I would be a major slut ... women have it easier than men to pick up .. The enlish language has plenty of terms and words that usualy apply only to men like calling a person dickless or saying they have no balls. and when u say ud be a slut jokingly if u were a woman... do u imply you wouldn't be faithfull to one person?
Author Green Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 I don't believe that people will blame the cheater. Most of the time women will side with women. the closest thing I can see to this is when the relationship is over and a woman gets with one of the guys friends... technicaly not cheating but in a way very wrong... but I often see the sides split even in an issue like this... when there is flat out cheating and its the women, ive seen people condemn the woman
Lizzie60 Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Yes definitely double standard about gender.. It's more 'normal' for a man to cheat.. we almost expect them to.. but when it comes to a woman.. it's worst... it's not perceived the same way... maybe because it's always been the men who cheated way more than women.. Same thing with pedophiles.. whenever it's a woman... she is viewed like a monster.. worst than a male.. Same thing with polygamy.. men have several wives.. have we ever seen the other way around.. nope.. never.. Men can have 50 partners.. they're seen as 'hunks"... but a women who had 50 partners is a sl*t.. It's always been double standard .. and it's not going to change tomorrow.. but it will change... eventually... it'll take more time..
Author Green Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 Yes definitely double standard about gender.. It's more 'normal' for a man to cheat.. we almost expect them to.. but when it comes to a woman.. it's worst... it's not perceived the same way... maybe because it's always been the men who cheated way more than women.. Same thing with pedophiles.. whenever it's a woman... she is viewed like a monster.. worst than a male.. Same thing with polygamy.. men have several wives.. have we ever seen the other way around.. nope.. never.. Men can have 50 partners.. they're seen as 'hunks"... but a women who had 50 partners is a sl*t.. It's always been double standard .. and it's not going to change tomorrow.. but it will change... eventually... it'll take more time.. I agree there is a bias but I find myself not agreeing with the way people view the bias. so since you think it will change for the better with more time... well what makes u think that... arn't the bias worst now... I mean we are still Bias toward women and now we have thrown men into the mix... or is it a good sign we are now bias against men? like that it will be over soon or reached the end of the cycle?
Lizzie60 Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I agree there is a bias but I find myself not agreeing with the way people view the bias. so since you think it will change for the better with more time... well what makes u think that... arn't the bias worst now... I mean we are still Bias toward women and now we have thrown men into the mix... or is it a good sign we are now bias against men? like that it will be over soon or reached the end of the cycle? I don't think I will see any changes myself.. since I'm old. but methink .. women will eventually get more and more 'equal' ... (we are still decades and decades behind men).. but it will still takes a loooong time.. It's hard to predict the future.. will it be better.. or not.. will it definitely blow he 'family', 'relationship' concept as we know it today.. hard to say.
Author Green Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 I don't think I will see any changes myself.. since I'm old. but methink .. women will eventually get more and more 'equal' ... (we are still decades and decades behind men).. but it will still takes a loooong time.. It's hard to predict the future.. will it be better.. or not.. will it definitely blow he 'family', 'relationship' concept as we know it today.. hard to say. But arn't other women your greatest critics... so how can you say you are decades and decades behind men... I mean women for the most part don't even need a physical relationship with a man to get pregnant... they can just go to the sperm clinic... so why is sex and cheating still such a gender thing
sally4sara Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 I think there is a realistic double standard that literaly exists... and that is women can get pregnant. But other then that why do you think it is more ok for men to lie acording to ur observations, you know say things will be monogomouse(sry for my spelling) I don't think its more okay for men to lie and cheat, because I don't agree with the double standard. I was only saying that as a description of what I thought the common "old school" double standard always was. I think neither should enter into a monogamous relationship till they feel confident they can live up to it or at least give their partner the information of their intent to sleep with someone else. It really shouldn't be such a hard thing to do; how does one cheat accidently? Or unforseeably cheat for that matter? "Honey, you'll never believe what happened to me on my way out of the market today!" I think it is just as easy for either gender to cheat. Women have more opportunities, but men probably feel more of a physical urge to seek it out. So it wouldn't surprise me if men and women cheat pretty evenly. I think there use to be much more of a double standard when it came to cheating, but only because there was already a double standard about women and their sexuality compared to men to begin with.
Author Green Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 I don't think its more okay for men to lie and cheat, because I don't agree with the double standard. I was only saying that as a description of what I thought the common "old school" double standard always was. I think neither should enter into a monogamous relationship till they feel confident they can live up to it or at least give their partner the information of their intent to sleep with someone else. It really shouldn't be such a hard thing to do; how does one cheat accidently? Or unforseeably cheat for that matter? "Honey, you'll never believe what happened to me on my way out of the market today!" I think it is just as easy for either gender to cheat. Women have more opportunities, but men probably feel more of a physical urge to seek it out. So it wouldn't surprise me if men and women cheat pretty evenly. I think there use to be much more of a double standard when it came to cheating, but only because there was already a double standard about women and their sexuality compared to men to begin with. I agree most women have more oportunity, I mean even a house wife with out a car could potentialy seduce the mailman, plumber, ups delivery guy, lawn mower.... but men are alot more perverted -stripers, escorts ect... so it does even the cheating playing field... in the end I think maybe we're all just scared of getting cheated on... and now that women are more equal... men will get the bad rap... worse then they should
sally4sara Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 I agree most women have more oportunity, I mean even a house wife with out a car could potentialy seduce the mailman, plumber, ups delivery guy, lawn mower.... but men are alot more perverted -stripers, escorts ect... so it does even the cheating playing field... in the end I think maybe we're all just scared of getting cheated on... and now that women are more equal... men will get the bad rap... worse then they should ummmm.....okay.
Author Green Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 ummmm.....okay. as in more male bias then there had been. I wonder if there could ever be some way of finding out who cheats more, men or women. Should women who date men they know are in a relationship also be considered cheaters?
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