EmptyPromises Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 what are some things to look for so you know that they are worth of another chance? stories, opinions all welcome!
northstar1 Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 IF a second chance will work, you basically need to start over from scratch, almost like dating the person all over again. However, most important is, what caused the breakup? and those issues, were they fixable? Betrayal, cheating, trust - those are likely things that cannot successfully be overcome without a lot of pent up resentment lingering for a long time.
Author EmptyPromises Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 i had trouble trusting him because my last boyfriend cheated on me several times. so i was very insecure and jealous and always thought he was up to no good when he was most likely being a good guy. after a three and half month split i think we both know what to do to fix things, just a question of whether hes going to put in the effort or not when i am.
northstar1 Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 what sort of things was he doing that made you suspect?
Author EmptyPromises Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 for one, he just has a really outgoing personality and is really cute and it makes alot of girls flirt with him, and sometimes he can be a little flirty back. he would go to parties where a girl he had sex with when he was really drunk was always be there everytime he went and also played on a volleyball team with her, so that kind of bothered me cuz i know their still friendly. the first weekend we started dating, i got a friend request from a girl and noticed all her statuses when i accepted. they were all about him and her hanging out. i confronted him and he told me she had a crush on him and was trying to get her ex jealous by putting his name all over her wall. i think thats what made our relationship rocking from the start. also theres this one girl that texts and calls him ALL THE TIME. i was there a couple of times when shed call and hed be like this girl is crazy. shes his good friends ex g/f. the breaking point was when i went through his phone and saw texts to a from a girl being very flirtacious to eachother. and then the girl that would call and text him all the time sent him a text saying : you should come home and cuddle naked with me. i was just very hurt by that. i know im a jealous person and have my reasons to be, but i should have given him his privacy and not been so controlling, etc. i know what i did wrong in the relationship : not giving him his space, jealous, kind of controlling.
northstar1 Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Okay, fair enough, but does he know what HE did wrong? ie. cutting out the flirty texts with other girls if he is going to be dating you?
Author EmptyPromises Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 yes, i believe he does know what he did wrong. he saw how hurt i was and was really upset and embarassed by it. whenever i bring it up he wants to change the subject and is just like i know i know. we havent talked about our relationship really. last night we just went to the movies really late, and by the time it was over it was already 3 am and i kind of needed to get home. i told him i was sorry for not kissing him or nething when he tried i just didnt want to jump back into something without proving ourselves to eachother, because every other time wed just make up by hooking up and not really talking about it. ive said several times in the past week that maybe gettingback together would be a mistake and maybe we should just be friends. even though i love him to death and would want things to work. he told him to give it another week see how things go and then decide. i think in order for me to get back with him he has alot to prove to me and say to me. thats why im asking what should be said or done in order for me to give him another chance
norajane Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 whenever i bring it up he wants to change the subject and is just like i know i know. That's a red flag. He should be willing to talk to you about it until you are comfortable with the situation. By saying, "I know, I know", he's brushing you off, trying to make you shut up so he doesn't have to face the consequences of what he did.
Recommended Posts