Hkizzle Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well of course there are so many ways to a man's heart, this is just a saying. But what if I said the way to a woman's heart is through a good orgasm? If a woman already likes a guy and he delivers good sex, then she will become even more emotionally attached because of the sex. There are also many hormones release that create pair bonding as a result of sex, and especially an orgasm. So techically whilst men in general want sex more than women, because it's easier for men to achieve an orgasm, good sex is actually more important for a woman?
norajane Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 For me, the way to my heart is through my brain. Someone who is mentally engaging and interesting and has a sense of humor I can appreciate is much more likely to capture my attention. That's what makes a man sexy to me, and that makes the sex so much better.
Author Hkizzle Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 For me, the way to my heart is through my brain. Someone who is mentally engaging and interesting and has a sense of humor I can appreciate is much more likely to capture my attention. That's what makes a man sexy to me, and that makes the sex so much better. Yeah I knew someone would say this........ That's why I said if a woman already liked a guy. But what I want to see from other people is what their view is of good sex's effect on a woman's attrachment to a guy. I've had more than one girl tell me after sex with a guy they suddenly felt more attached.
Thaddeus Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I've had more than one girl tell me after sex with a guy they suddenly felt more attached.Not surprising. Sex releases a chemical called oxytocin (not to be confused with the painkiller Oxycontin, that stuff that Rush Limbaugh was arrested for a few years back) and it's this chemical that helps create bonds between people. So do you want a stronger bond with your partner? A better relationship? A healthier partnership? More closeness and trust? Have more sex (with your partner). It starts there. (Yes, really. Those who mistakenly believe that closeness and trust must precede sex aren't backed up with empirical data.) See The Chemistry of Sex Drive: It's All in Your Head (and in Your Drugs) and Your Brain On Sex. Sorry there, hopeless romantics, but there's nothing supernatural or other-worldly about it. It's all about biochemistry.
dreamergrl Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Sure some get more attached after sex.... but there's more to getting my heart then sex. Plus, no matter how 'good' the guy is in the sack, if he's lacking other qualities, the sex really isn't that great for me.
Peanut9330 Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Even if I like the guy but he lacks certain qualities that I look for in a man I don’t care how good he is in bed its just wont do it for me. At the end of the day I’m looking for a partner who will be there for me both on a physical and emotional level if he lacks either, I'm not going to stick around because of good sex.
AlektraClementine Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Not for me. I've had sexual partners who could bring me to orgasm. If I didn't feel an intellectual connection however, the orgasm was completely moot. I can do that on my own.
alphamale Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 But what if I said the way to a woman's heart is through a good orgasm?? i would say its true to the extent that it deepens the bond that already existed before the couple has sex. most women have to at least like a guy before they sleep with him and giving her good orgasms just strengthens the attraction
TaraMaiden Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Given that I've only had orgasms with two of the 6 guys I've been with in my life, I can categorically say, it's not about the sex for me. It's about a whole personal, intellectual connection, with a stimulating and fulfilling meeting of minds. I need a guy who interests me beyond the bedroom. And he has to have a great sense of humour - one to both make me laugh, and laugh with me.
marlena Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Have more sex (with your partner). It starts there. (Yes, really. Those who mistakenly believe that closeness and trust must precede sex aren't backed up with empirical data.) Empirically speaking, it's always been that way for me.
Thaddeus Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 So, if I read this correctly, all the women saying that it really doesn't matter have completely transcended 3 million years of evolutionary conditioning? That their brains work differently than the other 3 billion women on the planet? Sorry, but I don't buy it. I'm not calling anyone liars here - that's a judgement call and I'm not qualified to make it (nor am I interested in doing so) - but I am saying that we as humans do tend to see ourselves as somehow superior to those around us. Don't believe me? Next time you're in your car, notice how much better you are at driving than everyone else. Why is your driving better? Because you're different, you're more highly skilled, you have more experience, you don't do dumb things, you know when you can safely break the speed limit and come to a rolling stop at a stop sign. Just the same as everybody else. That's probably why this thread is generating these sorts - "I'm different" - of responses. We think we're superior to the rest of humanity. But we're not. We've got the same chemistry, the same drives (no pun intended), the same fears and the same thought processes. (But not YOU, right? You really ARE different!)
Birdy Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well of course there are so many ways to a man's heart, this is just a saying. But what if I said the way to a woman's heart is through a good orgasm? If a woman already likes a guy and he delivers good sex, then she will become even more emotionally attached because of the sex. There are also many hormones release that create pair bonding as a result of sex, and especially an orgasm. So techically whilst men in general want sex more than women, because it's easier for men to achieve an orgasm, good sex is actually more important for a woman? Good sex definitely does that. You're not wrong. But a good mindf*ck trumps sex as an oxytocin trigger.
TaraMaiden Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 So, if I read this correctly, all the women saying that it really doesn't matter have completely transcended 3 million years of evolutionary conditioning? That their brains work differently than the other 3 billion women on the planet? No, personally, I'm not saying that, but I think it's not a level gauge.... women differ one form the other, just like guys do. Sex really isn't that high on my agenda... and after a while, with age, different things take priority.... I'm not suggesting you're incorrect - or even that the evolutionary data is - I'm just saying it's generic rather than specific.... Sorry, but I don't buy it. I'm not calling anyone liars here - that's a judgement call and I'm not qualified to make it (nor am I interested in doing so) - but I am saying that we as humans do tend to see ourselves as somehow superior to those around us. I consider myself to be a female mamal...I have voiced opinions on this before, so I think I'm outside of your opinion here. Don't believe me? Next time you're in your car, notice how much better you are at driving than everyone else. Why is your driving better? Because you're different, you're more highly skilled, you have more experience, you don't do dumb things, you know when you can safely break the speed limit and come to a rolling stop at a stop sign. I took a 'better driving' course because I wanted to improve my skills, my observation, my general road behaviour. I'm a good driver, but I wouldn't ever put myself as better than others. Some, maybe yes. 'others' as a whole? nope, not I..... Just the same as everybody else. That's probably why this thread is generating these sorts - "I'm different" - of responses. We think we're superior to the rest of humanity. But we're not. We've got the same chemistry, the same drives (no pun intended), the same fears and the same thought processes. (But not YOU, right? You really ARE different!) I agree. But what makes us different is social conditioning, upbringing, peer pressure, familial and religious influence, ethics, nurturing and genes. I am no different to any other human, as a mammalian animal. But I am an individual with my own ideas, opinions, tastes, prejudices, likes, dislikes, feelings and temperament. ME, that is.....
HsMomma Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 While I don't believe that a good orgasm is THE way to my heart, it doesn't suck! However, having said that, I have to also say that the good orgasm ain't gonna happen in this lifetime should the guy not be able to stimulate me intellectually, emotionally & spiritually first. Assuming those criteria have been met, then yes, a good orgasm (or actually, many good orgasms) certainly helps me feel closer to him. But, as I posted elsewhere, I don't believe a sexual encounter is worth the undressing for only ONE orgasm - it's either multiples or it's nothing...in my world, anyway.
AlektraClementine Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Thaddeus- I'm not saying that having sex with someone CAN'T make you closer. But how can one ignore the fact the a woman can have sex, be brought to orgasm (which is the assertion here) and not become attached. I don't feel superior and above biology but I can absolutely report that orgasms alone do not speak to my heart. They speak to my nether regions. Love making is an entirely different subject.
marlena Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Love making is an entirely different subject. I agree but powerful orgasms can make you fall in love. I think this is what Thaddeus is saying.
Birdy Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I agree but powerful orgasms can make you fall in love. I think this is what Thaddeus is saying. *Can* if there's already chemistry there. I've had INSANE orgasms with guys I didn't have any special chemistry with, and I wasn't any more attached to them after the orgasm. So I dunno.
marlena Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 *Can* if there's already chemistry there. Well, I would assume that there was chemistry there if you both had sex. Otherwise, why have sex?
dreamergrl Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Well you can have sexual chemistry - but not have chemistry like relationship wise, or personality chemistry
Birdy Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Well, I would assume that there was chemistry there if you both had sex. Otherwise, why have sex? Meh, I confess I've had the occasional ONS with a guy I was physically attracted to but didn't have much chemistry with. Sometimes even short-term relationships.
Woggle Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 You have to get inside her head and find out what makes her tick. Once you figure that out you have to use it to your advantage.
HsMomma Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 You have to get inside her head and find out what makes her tick. Once you figure that out you have to use it to your advantage. Sentence one, I was with ya, Woggle...but, sentence two...BAH! You shouldn't need to use anything to your advantage. Sometimes, it really is as easy as just asking what would make her happy.
Birdy Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Sometimes, it really is as easy as just asking what would make her happy. I have to agree with the pickup artists on this subject a little bit. Most women say, even sincerely believe, that they want one thing, but really they want something totally different. Not me, though. I know myself and I tell it like it is. Brutally.
frustrated&sad Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Sure some get more attached after sex.... but there's more to getting my heart then sex. Plus, no matter how 'good' the guy is in the sack, if he's lacking other qualities, the sex really isn't that great for me. I agree with dreamergrl (who has been posting some good stuff, by the way!). There are more ways to a woman's heart than just having a great orgasm. That is one quick way, but to remain there he's got to have some other captivating qualities. Otherwise, sex quickly becomes just sex. And there's nothing wrong with that, but a relationship--a true quality one--cannot be sustained on sex alone. And as dreamergrl said, sex isn't that great if there aren't some other great qualities already there. And food definitely is way to my heart. And brains. And witty reparte.
Thaddeus Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 And food definitely is way to my heart. And brains. And witty reparte.And a boat! Gotta have a boat!
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