wontgohomewou Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 There is this girl I met a month ago at PSU. We hit it off really well and started texting almost immediately, she initiated. We've been texting every single day for the past month, I think we shared like 5000 between each other. So I ask her out on a date and she is really happy about it(It's going to be Aug 24 when school starts). She says I can come over any time I want to her apartment and stuff when school starts. So I decided to dig a little deeper into her past and asked her about her ex, I know him. She said that they broke up 3 months ago after a 2 year relationship. I asked her why, she said they argued too much and it was mutual. So then I asked her if she's over him, she said 'I dont know'. So at this point I'm wondering what the hell is on her mind. Why can't she just give me a straight up answer? Asked her two more times on different occasions and I got the same answer, even when she was completely drunk. So just last night we had a conversation via texts. Me: Am I wasting my time talking to you or is this going somewhere? Her: I dont know. Me: Dude, just tell me how you feel. Her: I dont know! What do you want from me? Me: The truth. Her: I told you. Deal with it if you want. And at this point I'm kind of mad... I start getting the feeling that she is really just leading me on for fun. Me: It's not right to lead on guys when you aren't over your ex. You can really hurt someone like that. Her: I'm not leading anyone on. Besides I'm single. Me: Your status is single but obviously your mind isn't. Her: Wow, this is entirely up to you, if you want to talk to me. Me: Yeah, whatever.. i'll just be friends. Besides, I'm not even ugly. I can always get someone else. Her: Okay then we're friends! You want more? Me: I did, I'm not gonna lie. I thought you did too. Her: Well I'm not asking you to wait, that's your decision if you want. Me: How bout you tell me how you feel and I'll make my decision. Her: I do like you but I cant give you the relationship that you want, at least not now. Me: Okay. Thanks for being Honest. Then I get some texts from her 2 hours later asking me if I fell asleep... I reply saying No. She sends some more saying 'OMG its awkward here... keep me companyyyyy'. I don't reply at all so an hour later she says 'jerk'. I say sorry, and she said 'its too late' and then I just go to sleep. So basically, I'm not sure what to do. I really do love her personality and she is absolutely adorable, BUT am I wasting my time? Her ex is never taking her back, he made that clear. Should I just get her off me by giving her one word replies? It's kind of lame how she still wanted my company after all that. Some opinions would be awesome!
Hkizzle Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 If you screwed her brains out, she'll forget her ex pretty soon. Instead of confronting her and making her defensive, why not make her forget her ex by making her fall madly in love with you?
Thaddeus Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Do not pursue. She's yanking your chain and will friend-zone you in a heartbeat.
XOXO13 Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 It sounds like she's probably not completely over her ex. I think you did the right thing by not giving into her and responding back to her text last night. She's upset cause she didnt get her way. And hopefully she'll realize that you're not gonna put up with her games of "stringing you along". Let her contact you, she will... they always do! I say, if you really do like this girl, then it shouldnt matter if you're "wasting your time" or not. Just take it slow... and dont put so much effort into her right now since she's not sure either in how she feels. You want an answer right now with results... and that's only going to push the other person away even faster. This is exactly how I was 2 months ago with the guy I've been dating! I even said that same statement... "Am I just wasting my time here?" haha It's nice to know i'm not the only one who thinks that way!
JohnP82 Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Don't go after this girl. You can't make someone fall in love with you. If she isn't over her ex then forget her.
Hkizzle Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Don't go after this girl. You can't make someone fall in love with you. If she isn't over her ex then forget her. Yeah you can. I've dated two girls that were still dating their BFs when I met them, let alone just trying to get over an ex. These were decent girls as well. Why can't you make someone fall in love? You can't make EVERYONE fall in love, but there are strategies that work with high success rates.
Author wontgohomewou Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 Yeah you can. I've dated two girls that were still dating their BFs when I met them, let alone just trying to get over an ex. These were decent girls as well. Why can't you make someone fall in love? You can't make EVERYONE fall in love, but there are strategies that work with high success rates. Can you share these strategies?
Hkizzle Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Yeah sure. Well with women if you create chemistry or a connection then you're basically in there. For many women chemistry is something they can't truly explain and think it's special. But really there are a small percentage of men good at creating chemistry. The key is to remember that chemistry is much easier to achieve once you show that you're a high value male, that's interested in the girl. If you don't show that, ie show low value, then you can be as nice to the girl as you can be and she won't feel attraction. Strategies that work on a high percentage of women include: 1) Showing confidence 2) Having a good sense of humor 3) Being fun to be with 4) Have good conversation skills and be interesting to talk to 5) Not be needy in any way, which you're technically doing by showing your insecurity. 6) Don't be confrontational or create guilt whilst still in the attraction building phase, which you're doing. 7) Show you're a good catch, if you're not earning a lot, at least dress well, look decent and be a gentleman. 8) Show that you're a desired individual. So have lots of friends around you, and even other women seemingly interested in you. The reason why some guys get lots of girls and other girls still like them is because of this. Shows pre-selection. 9) Pay attention to detail to show you care 10) Do the hot-cold/ push-pull. People tend to treasure things they fear losing. 11) Never tell a girl you like her before seeing attraction, indirect approach is key or causes a person to get defensive, and also the chaser to lose value for being "desperate". The most political correct methods? No......... Do they work? Definitely. The reason why so many women fall for jerks and many nice guys can't get the girls they like to like them, is simply because the jerks understand female psychology more than the nice guys.
Author wontgohomewou Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 Wise advice from a wise man. Bookmarked it. Guess I got carried away because I miss being in a relationship ... OH WELL Anyway, new development... Her: Sorry about not seeing you this weekend Me: Its cool. I kinda made it a little awkward last night anyway. Her: Yeah you did. I didn't reply at all and 30 minutes later she says Her: Whatever, its cool. What you doin? I just got back. Mannnn I don't wanna do this paper. I replied 30 minutes later (I didn't have my phone lol) Me: Sucks AND then I went to bed because I was tired. I really feel like she's just keeping me there as someone to talk to. I'm letting her do all the initiation though, if she wants to talk then I'll talk back. What do you guys think?
boogieboy Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Wise advice from a wise man. Bookmarked it. Guess I got carried away because I miss being in a relationship ... OH WELL Anyway, new development... Her: Sorry about not seeing you this weekend Me: Its cool. I kinda made it a little awkward last night anyway. Her: Yeah you did. I didn't reply at all and 30 minutes later she says Her: Whatever, its cool. What you doin? I just got back. Mannnn I don't wanna do this paper. I replied 30 minutes later (I didn't have my phone lol) Me: Sucks AND then I went to bed because I was tired. I really feel like she's just keeping me there as someone to talk to. I'm letting her do all the initiation though, if she wants to talk then I'll talk back. What do you guys think? Youve been friend zoned. You lost this one forever. But if you have nothing better to do..... SHe now thinks you have nothing to offer her, and you are too available, which is why she can text you at any time and get an answer. Shes using you for friend company when shes lonely. Thats not attractive. When she says "keep me companyyyyy" it means that the guy shes TRYING to get attention from is not giving her any, so she defaults to you-the attention she can rely on at any time. Next time, dont answer her for a couple hours, and say, "out with a bunch of friends, theyre nuts! talk to you later" She'll want to know what youre doing, but you dont answer her. Let her think Youre having too much fun to check your phone. Every time she texts you, you do the same thing. Youre having too much fun, and you dont answer her stupid questions, or acknowledge anything she says, when its about nothing. Got it?
Author wontgohomewou Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 Youve been friend zoned. You lost this one forever. But if you have nothing better to do..... SHe now thinks you have nothing to offer her, and you are too available, which is why she can text you at any time and get an answer. Thats not attractive. Next time, dont answer her for a couple hours, and say, "out with a bunch of friends, theyre nuts! talk to you later" She'll want to know what youre doing, but you dont answer her. Let her think Youre having too much fun to check your phone. Every time she texts you, you do the same thing. Youre having too much fun, and you dont answer her stupid questions, or acknowledge anything she says, when its about nothing. Got it? Hmm seems like I've been friend-zoned since the beginning then! That's usually always how she starts a conversation, actually in the beginning she was a bit more shady. She opened up big time 2 weeks ago. But yeah, good advice. I usually am busy to be honest, but I'm always dumb enough to make time for her. I'm too nice:mad:. Hopefully she gets drunk tonight, I usually get calls every time she drinks. I'll just tell her I'm busy and I'll call her back in a bit and... never call.
boogieboy Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Hmm seems like I've been friend-zoned since the beginning then! That's usually always how she starts a conversation, actually in the beginning she was a bit more shady. She opened up big time 2 weeks ago. But yeah, good advice. I usually am busy to be honest, but I'm always dumb enough to make time for her. I'm too nice:mad:. Hopefully she gets drunk tonight, I usually get calls every time she drinks. I'll just tell her I'm busy and I'll call her back in a bit and... never call. \ No.... if she calls, you DONT answer. Not till the next day. if she asks why, you were busy having fun.
Author wontgohomewou Posted August 11, 2009 Author Posted August 11, 2009 What's up with this girl? She still wants to hang out and have lunch and dinner and stuff. Honestly, if I was her I would be running like crazy right now. BUT she's the opposite. She still texts me and acts like nothing has changed... still flirty and initiating
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 haha...no, she's not going to "run like crazy." You're an easy target for her to get male attention from. So of course she's going to be "flirty." She knows it gets you going because you have a "thing" for her. You need to pay more attention to Boogieboy and Hkizzle in this thread. Quit being so nice to this girl - she's an attention whore.
edinsvet Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 If you screwed her brains out, she'll forget her ex pretty soon. Instead of confronting her and making her defensive, why not make her forget her ex by making her fall madly in love with you? I totally agree
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