SoulSearch_CO Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Yes, I swear I'm not really into the idea of dating. In fact, I'm kind of pushing off the whole meeting thing because I'm not too anxious to get involved. But am I pushing off what could be nothing or just a friendship? Thanks a lot, btw, Ruggy - I looked for groups in my area just because I wanted to meet PEOPLE. I haven't even been to a meetup, yet. Anyway - I joined this adventurers group (and a bookclub and a natural healing group). Like a day after I joined the group, this guy emails me asking what my other interests are because I didn't really fill out a profile. For a reason - I'm not really interested in people finding ME - I just want to do group activities. I did have two headshots on there, though. So anyway, we've been emailing back and forth. He's in excellent physical condition, I'm working on mine. LOL In the post-breakup-just-wanna-be-alone, I find different physical activities (walking, hiking, biking, etc) to be relaxing. Well, the emails, while VERY intellectually stimulating and interesting, have not been terribly flirty. I haven't been because I can't get a read on this guy. He didn't outright ask about my relationship status, my age, other pics of me, etc. I'm relatively positive he's divorced since he said he shares custody of his kids with his ex. We tease each other a little back and forth, but no flirting, really. It's so odd. He hasn't asked me out, or anything. He's big into rock-climbing and so has proposed an "expedition" of sorts that would be easy on me since I've never done it before. He put it out there, but didn't propose a date. It *might* be because my schedule IS so busy (5 nights a week at my regular job and now I'm starting a second job that'll eat my other 2 days off) and his is more flexible. He's an attorney, but he can schedule his days. Anywho...from his pictures, it's really hard to gauge, but I think he may be about the same age as my XH (15 years older than me). I don't have a huge problem with that and he doesn't strike me as a creeper trying to get in the pants of a 20-something. But would someone with that big of an age difference just befriend a woman on a site like that with purely platonic intentions? Well, I should add that neither of our ages is posted on the site. So maybe he doesn't even know my age. I'd love to date the guy - were I ready to do so. So I hate pushing off the meeting and I don't want him to think he's friend-zoned because I'm definitely attracted to him. I just...ugh, I don't know. What's the deal? LOL In the 5 days that we've been communicating, he's sent me about 16 emails - we exchange one for one. He's quick on responding. Has written from work, and also from home on the weekend or evening. At first it was like one per day, now it's like 2 or 3. LOL
sunshinegirl Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 You may be getting ahead of yourself. Considering you haven't met him in the flesh, I would take all of these emails and pseudo-flirtations with a grain of salt. I'm not saying he's going to be a bad guy (how would I know?) but I would say that I have, more often than not, found that a guy's 'online' persona is quite different from the 'live' one. I guess I'd just suggest that you relax in terms of trying to figure out what 'this' is. Chill out (ie slow down) with the email exchanges, perhaps, because that builds intensity even if you don't mean it to, and don't worry about deciding anything unless and until you meet in person AND he expresses clear interest.
gopher Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 SS, My 2 cents is that you should suggest getting together and "hang out"....what's the harm? You can present it that you have some things in common, and have enjoyed the emails. As a guy, my sense of this guy is that he's interested ( no guy would send an email to a girl he doesn't know just to be friends.)....I think he's trying to be respectful and not "hit" on you right off the bat.
boogieboy Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Guys arent going to email you to find out your hobbies based on a picture if they arent interested. But if youre not ready to date, then tell him so and stop emailing him.
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 But if youre not ready to date, then tell him so and stop emailing him. It feels a little presumptuous to say so when he hasn't even said that or asked me on a "date," so to speak. Guys arent going to email you to find out your hobbies based on a picture if they arent interested. ( no guy would send an email to a girl he doesn't know just to be friends.)....I think he's trying to be respectful and not "hit" on you right off the bat. Hmph. Kind of what I was thinking, but I'm so unsure since he hasn't come right out and asked me on a date or really flirted. Chill out (ie slow down) with the email exchanges, perhaps, because that builds intensity even if you don't mean it to, and don't worry about deciding anything unless and until you meet in person AND he expresses clear interest. Yes. This is what I was thinking. I'll slow down on the exchanges because I don't want to build this into something it ISN'T on either of our parts. ------------------------------------------------------- Considering he has not asked me to DATE, would it be horrible to set a date and time for the climbing expedition with him? I'd like to meet more people in my area - even if it's just as friends. But I have no idea if he's considering something romantic. I mean, the two guys on this thread that gave me feedback say it is most likely, but I think it's kind of presumptuous to assume that when I haven't been given any clear indication.
collegekid491 Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 I think he already purposed a date... the rock climbing thing, even if he didn't set a date just to gauge your response without putting himself out there. As much as there are nice guys out there, we aren't that nice lol.
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 I think he already purposed a date... the rock climbing thing, even if he didn't set a date just to gauge your response without putting himself out there. As much as there are nice guys out there, we aren't that nice lol. LOL! Point taken, CK. Thanks.
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