leap83 Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 In reply to Leap83, yes I trusted him. I have asked him if he saw a future with me and his reply has been yes. I think Cypresa was more correct in that he wasn't 100% sure, cause while he told me he saw me in his future he also told me he wasn't sure he was ready to get married, but he would be ready by April which is why we decided in April to get engaged. I felt though after dating for so long he should know if he wanted to be with me or not. I believe he did love me but now I question to what extent was his love for me. He was committed to me. We spend our weekends together, I never had reason to suspect he was cheating, he helped me do a lot of things, even go shopping with me, but I am at the stage where I wanted to move in together, start a family. We have broken up before and gotten back together, but I see this as very unhealthy. It wasn't a perfect relationship but I was happy. I did learn something though, getting involved with someone right away doesn't help for long. It only covers the emotions you feel, but they still come rushing back at random moments. There were times I were hanging out with the new guy and it was cool, and then I would go home and start crying. Not healthy. I guess I will see what happens. His birthday is this Saturday and I planned on ignoring it because it would hurt to text him and think oh maybe he is hanging out with his new gf, since it has been 4 months. He has told me he wasn't dating anyone when we talked that one time. Honestly what he did really hurt and cypresa I am in the same situation as you, most of my friends are committed. So pitiful when you start talking about how you feel while everyone thinks I should be over it. My friends are like move on. I barely bring it up anymore. Thanks for the advice, I guess time will tell. Candy: I don't think you should be over it. You can't. Only people who went through this know how hard it is to walk over this. 4 yrs is not little. 4 years is like entering and finishing undergrad. That's A LOT of time! You've spent a lot of time with him. Thus, healing won't come as fast. I don't know what I did to help myself heal. I know what was the last thing I did though to make myself 99.99% there - my ex contacted me and the first thing that went through my head when I saw an e-mail was "What would (let's name him Y - my boyfriend) Y think?" As soon as I caught myself thinking that, I knew I was over my ex. It wasn't about my feelings towards my ex anymore... it was about my feelings towards this other individual. And frankly, my ex offered to be friends (after a year and 2 months of NC) and I was able to say "Thank you. I appreciate that" without putting a lot of emphasis or jumping up and down. I also lowered him to where he should be stating that I don't mind talking with him, but that, considering everything, we can't be buddies. It felt amazing! While I consider him a part of my past and don't mind talking with him, I have no interest in being friends with him. So I don't really know how I got there. I do know however that I went through a huge emotional turmoil. That I cried when I saw he was dating someone else (they broke up after 3 months) - this was like 6 months after we broke up. And that I still thought of him sometimes at 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 months. So, it's not easy. And I completely understand where you're coming from.
Recommended Posts