WTRanger Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 I'm relatively new to the area I'm in. I'm on my feet enough to want to start meeting girls and testing the dating waters and make an effort to get the old girl from the old area out of my head. So I signed up for an online dating deal. I figured that'd be the easiest way to meet some people out here. I went on a few random dates, most of them were good. As good as you can expect from online dating. There is one girl that stands out though. From the first second we got along famously and it was a great night and the next few dates were just as amazing. I get a Facebook request from her today and to my astonishment she has over 4,000 "friends." Now, I'm questioning if I really want to pursue anything serious with this girl and if I should just back out now before I get attached. To me, that insane number of "friends" just screams attention whore. That she's got to be in the spotlight all the time. I just got done dealing with someone like that, and I'm not looking to do it again anytime soon. I myself have maybe 21 friends and family, not including her as I haven't accepted it yet. But all 21 people I'm in constant contact with and I know I can count on them if I were to need them. I'm quite selective and I don't use the FB friends count as some gay-ass high school popularity contest. Would this be a red flag to anyone else? Or am I just over reacting?
Vicious_Delicious Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 Run. I got out of a relationship with a chick a few months back that was worse than a Facebook whore, she was a Myspace whore. I guess you could say that a Facebook whore is a step up in class, haha. Things were great, at first. At first I thought nothing of the fact that she had 4,000 friends, but you are right about her being an attention whore. She used to be a go go dancer at one point, which made it worse. Calls and texts from "friends" all hours of the day. God forbid I would ask who was contacting her. If there's something I've learned it all, it's this: If it looks like ****, smells like ****, hell, if it even tastes like ****, then it must be ****. And from what it looks like, you are smelling something that seems a little too familiar.
Eclypse Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I don't think you should write her off just yet. While I don't have 4,000 friends, I do have a lot more than you (300) and most of them I don't really keep in contact with. Most are people from high school (was a big school) university, people ive met at parties and who added me etc. I think you should wait to see if what the other poster described happens. See if she really is an attention whore.
terra Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I don't think you can write someone off because they have lots of facebook friends... seems a little harsh. Maybe there is a good reason. I would go based on your face to face interactions. Your date was good - that is more of an indication, not her number of virtual friends.
thegoodlife Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 That would send up some red flags for me. I only very recently got FB and just like you I have about 21-25 friends tops. I use it as a way to keep in touch with people from school over the summer and friends/relatives that aren't close by. I'd walk away now.
Ariadne Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 If you like her.. What does it matter how many friends she has in FB? There are other things more important in life.
dressing up Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I'm relatively new to the area I'm in. I'm on my feet enough to want to start meeting girls and testing the dating waters and make an effort to get the old girl from the old area out of my head. So I signed up for an online dating deal. I figured that'd be the easiest way to meet some people out here. I went on a few random dates, most of them were good. As good as you can expect from online dating. There is one girl that stands out though. From the first second we got along famously and it was a great night and the next few dates were just as amazing. I get a Facebook request from her today and to my astonishment she has over 4,000 "friends." Now, I'm questioning if I really want to pursue anything serious with this girl and if I should just back out now before I get attached. To me, that insane number of "friends" just screams attention whore. That she's got to be in the spotlight all the time. I just got done dealing with someone like that, and I'm not looking to do it again anytime soon. I myself have maybe 21 friends and family, not including her as I haven't accepted it yet. But all 21 people I'm in constant contact with and I know I can count on them if I were to need them. I'm quite selective and I don't use the FB friends count as some gay-ass high school popularity contest. Would this be a red flag to anyone else? Or am I just over reacting? I would like to say it's just facebook, give the girl another chance, but someone who's likely an attention whore is unlikely to only seek attention on facebook. If you're open to drama or paying her lots of attention, then this could be a fit. I know of people with thousands of friends on facebook. While they aren't bad or nasty people, they seek attention one way or another.
BobSacamento Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Wait so who is the attention whore here? It seems like you want all the attention on you and for her to have no friends. What does she do for a living?
Drew2073 Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I can understand 500, but 4000!?!? She's one of those who I occasionally get requesting to be my FB friend, and my reaction is always "Who the **** are you???" I only have 156 friends, and every one of those are those I know personally- former classmates or current or past co-workers. She is in all likelihood extremely vain, immature and self-centered. If I were you, I'd be running full speed in the other direction.
Devil Inside Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I'd say your face to face interaction would be a much better indicator of whether she is right for you than her facebook account.
AlektraClementine Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 The only good reason to have that many friends is if you are some sort of entertainer. My partner has over 500 (compared to my 100 or so). It causes all kinds of problems for us. He's an attention sponge.
New Again Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 What does she do for a living? This was my first thought also. The only people I know who have 4,000 or more friends are people who are business owners and such. It's networking and marketing for them. Although many of these business owners own clubs I have just shy of 1,000 "friends" but in no way am I an attention whore. Every single one of those people are people I know IRL - from work, high school, college, grad school, etc. It's good networking.
Hkizzle Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 If she's got an attractive profile pic and accepts adds from everyone that adds her then she'll get 4K friends. I've seen girls with lots of friends in that way. What I find disturbing is they allow random strangers to see their page, that can even be dangerous. But doesn't show that a person is a bad person by doing it.
Author WTRanger Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 I think it's a difference in how we see friends or how we want to use the social networks that are open to us. I prefer to have only the people that I actually contact on my facebook. If you even have say 300 friends, let alone in the thousands, be serious. You don't contact 99% of those folks, you don't care, you've probably hidden their feeds. So why even have them as friends, other than for that little number increase. To me, and this is my sole opinion, I see it as a BS high school populartiy contest. She's a grad student and we both go/went to a large university, so there's a huge potential for having large numbers of people. It boils down to my thoughts. If you have large numbers of "friends" that you know in real life, but do you know them or know of them? That's the difference. Would you think I was crazy if I went through the white pages, called every single person, and then added thier number to my cell phone? I know of them, I know they exist. So what's the difference between that and facebook? I'm networking aren't I? We all live in the same town, so we all have things in common. I'm not going to write her off, but I was just curious if anyone else would seen an insane number of friends as a red flag that she might just be a flake. We'll see when we go on our next date.
dreamergrl Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 It depends really. I know people that use myspace / facebook for networking and they have thousands of friends. One has a profile like that, and a more personal / private one but only gives that one out to certain people. Another person I know uses their profile for networking and personal use. Yes, she could be an attention whore, but there's a chance she's not. Why not just ask her? You hit it off with her, would it hurt just to find out, instead of possibly passing up a good thing over something that might just be nothing.
likeORIGAMI Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 'The more friends you have on FB, the less friends you have in REAL LIFE.' - Funny People.
northstar1 Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I think it's a difference in how we see friends or how we want to use the social networks that are open to us. I prefer to have only the people that I actually contact on my facebook. If you even have say 300 friends, let alone in the thousands, be serious. You don't contact 99% of those folks, you don't care, you've probably hidden their feeds. So why even have them as friends, other than for that little number increase. To me, and this is my sole opinion, I see it as a BS high school populartiy contest. She's a grad student and we both go/went to a large university, so there's a huge potential for having large numbers of people. It boils down to my thoughts. If you have large numbers of "friends" that you know in real life, but do you know them or know of them? That's the difference. Would you think I was crazy if I went through the white pages, called every single person, and then added thier number to my cell phone? I know of them, I know they exist. So what's the difference between that and facebook? I'm networking aren't I? We all live in the same town, so we all have things in common. I'm not going to write her off, but I was just curious if anyone else would seen an insane number of friends as a red flag that she might just be a flake. We'll see when we go on our next date. Quoted for Truth. People also seem to get an ego stroke for the self PR they can do when they update their status or put up pictures, knowing that hundreds (or thousands) see that they had the Best. Night. Ever. Must be a generational thing and I'm old and don't get it. I guess I'm just private, but I don't want people I barely know or met once at a party for 5 minutes knowing detailf of my life.
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