I'm a serial procrastinator and I've led a very unproductive life so far....

[big_girls_rock]

I joined a few years ago, pretty much crying about the same things in my previous threads. I mean, it's been four long years since I've joined and I'm STILL in the same situations. My life, how I managed to screw it up, and what to do as of now.

 

I just may have put myself in the hardest position a "student" manages to get themselves into because of lack of motivation and self control.

 

At 24, when most college students have their degrees, I've managed to get myself on probation 2, which has had my financial aid terminated knowing full well that I have at least a year to go before receiving my associates. Luckily the dean didn't kick me out, but suggests that if I want my aid back, I have to pay for a semester, get good grades and then appeal. After speaking to an advisor, she suggested I take a break.

 

Now jobless, no ambition, no way of paying for school, and still living at home with mom, I have no idea how to get myself out of this mess. It's so extreme that I don't even have a divers license. I've had 2 different permits in two different states, paid $400 plus for lessons (not to mention family and friends helping) and I didn't even finish my last lesson for fear of driving.

 

Now, before someone states that I find a job and save up and then go back- I've definately thought of that, however this is way deeper than that. I need to find a way to stop this ongoing habit.

 

Ever since I was a kid...I've kicked myself in the ass with opertunities. I got into a great Art's school and ****ed it up, I got a start with another high school and ****ed that up, I ended up getting my GED and went to community college which I eventually ****ed up as well.

 

For some reason, I have no self control when it comes to taking care of business and I don't know what to do. The longest thing I ever actually stuck with was a job, and that was only one year before I got sick of it and quit.

 

I can't afford counceling, I think I may have a case of adult add which I can't afford to see a doctor for. I've always ran from my problems...I think I'm acting just like my father who left my mother and I when I was two, he's also the black sheep of the family, I guess we are both dreamers and I hate that about myself. I have so many plans and things I want to do but the procrastination and lack of a degree, and funding stops me from doing it. I'm also a runner, I like to run away from hard problems and start over in other places and that includes dropping everything, even my boyfriend, a 8 month relationship that I've finally committed to.

 

There are a few things that I've recently changed, taking better care of myself with fitness and eating healthy, and I'm now starting to save up money better since I was pretty much a heavy spender. Champagne tastes with beer money.

 

I had an oppertunity to go to London for six months stay, but soon realized I can't afford to go as I quit my job (to pursue school) I just wanted to go, grow some balls/gain control, and then come back. I have no idea why I'm like this, and I want to change any advice on what I should do? How can I continually overcome?

[xpaperxcutx]

Yikes!

 

I see a little of myself in you. I'm big procrastinator myself, so the one big thing I do is think about the people who broke my heart. Getting revenge is the best way to get myself motivated.

 

You know how they say education is the best thing one can have? They're right. You have to think of a way to get back into school and get your Assoc. You have to think of a way to a loan or financial aid, although I'm not sure if your probation record will hinder your progress, you won't know until you try.

 

The best thing you can do is to take things one day at a time. If you try to do too many things at once, you won't find yourself making any leeway. Think about your priorities and list them in order of importance. Obviously finishing school is the first thing. But if you need money, then you may take a couple of months out to find a job and work to save up. ( I had to reread your post and notice what I written isn't as easy as it sounds).

 

But, obviously the only thing that's stopping you is yourself. Focus on you. Be selfish and think me, me, me, me.

[big_girls_rock]

Thanks papercut, see, thing is, I've been selfish all my life, but in a bad way, it's one of the reasons i'm such a failure is because I was constantly spoiled and never MADE to do anything I didn't want to. It's really hard when you've pushed yourself out of situations. I could try and get a loan through my bank but I doubt that will happen since I don't have a job. I already owe $6,000 in student loans as it is. I want to find a random job and work for a few months and just save up, but I can just kick myself in the ass because I quit my last job-

[xpaperxcutx]

Thanks papercut, see, thing is, I've been selfish all my life, but in a bad way, it's one of the reasons i'm such a failure is because I was constantly spoiled and never MADE to do anything I didn't want to. It's really hard when you've pushed yourself out of situations. I could try and get a loan through my bank but I doubt that will happen since I don't have a job. I already owe $6,000 in student loans as it is. I want to find a random job and work for a few months and just save up, but I can just kick myself in the ass because I quit my last job-

 

 

Never ever compare yourself to others. Everybody's different. So while you're 24, and still haven't graduated, think about the steps you took to get where you are. At least you took your GED and got yourself into college. That alone is a big step.

 

First things first, since you're in debt, you have to get yourself out of it. I know the economy isn't all that good but since you've proscrastinated thus far, you can procrastinate with school for now, and concentrate on getting another job. Find something something that will take up your time for now and get you in the habit of waking up in the morning and working. You have to get yourself in a routine, and once you find it you can make it a habit to actually get yourself into working and doing things.

 

Remember little steps.

 

And remember to be selfish, only this time be selfish in a more positive way.

[You'reasian]

 

At 24, when most college students have their degrees, I've managed to get myself on probation 2, which has had my financial aid terminated knowing full well that I have at least a year to go before receiving my associates. Luckily the dean didn't kick me out, but suggests that if I want my aid back, I have to pay for a semester, get good grades and then appeal. After speaking to an advisor, she suggested I take a break.

 

Tough stuff. I think an associates degree only requires two years of schooling, right? Assuming you have all of your personal affairs in order, you should be able to hunker down and nail it out.

 

 

 

Now jobless, no ambition, no way of paying for school, and still living at home with mom, I have no idea how to get myself out of this mess. It's so extreme that I don't even have a divers license. I've had 2 different permits in two different states, paid $400 plus for lessons (not to mention family and friends helping) and I didn't even finish my last lesson for fear of driving. .

 

Sorry to hear this. Don't you mean driver's license?

 

Now, before someone states that I find a job and save up and then go back- I've definately thought of that, however this is way deeper than that. I need to find a way to stop this ongoing habit.

 

Ever since I was a kid...I've kicked myself in the ass with opertunities. I got into a great Art's school and ****ed it up, I got a start with another high school and ****ed that up, I ended up getting my GED and went to community college which I eventually ****ed up as well.

 

For some reason, I have no self control when it comes to taking care of business and I don't know what to do. The longest thing I ever actually stuck with was a job, and that was only one year before I got sick of it and quit.

 

I can't afford counceling, I think I may have a case of adult add which I can't afford to see a doctor for. I've always ran from my problems...I think I'm acting just like my father who left my mother and I when I was two, he's also the black sheep of the family, I guess we are both dreamers and I hate that about myself. I have so many plans and things I want to do but the procrastination and lack of a degree, and funding stops me from doing it. I'm also a runner, I like to run away from hard problems and start over in other places and that includes dropping everything, even my boyfriend, a 8 month relationship that I've finally committed to.

 

There are a few things that I've recently changed, taking better care of myself with fitness and eating healthy, and I'm now starting to save up money better since I was pretty much a heavy spender. Champagne tastes with beer money.

 

I had an oppertunity to go to London for six months stay, but soon realized I can't afford to go as I quit my job (to pursue school) I just wanted to go, grow some balls/gain control, and then come back. I have no idea why I'm like this, and I want to change any advice on what I should do? How can I continually overcome?

 

Your spelling patterns are alot like the guy who posted as George a few days back, I'm sure its a coincidence.

 

You've got to find it in you to get up and do something. You know you. Sit down and think about what you need to get motivated. Set your first goal and see it through.

[big_girls_rock]

I don't know who George is, but I'm definately not him. Sorry about the spelling, I know I butchered it, it was 5am when I wrote this in which I fell asleep right after:) But, my spelling isn't the issue, I really need help- I thank you for your suggestions, it's so much easier said then done.

[Green]

Obviously if you want to be an Elementary school teacher or Doctor or what ever you have to go to school. But if thats not your dream maybe you should consider just doing what you want and figuring out if school is even necesary. I've been what other people would call a procrastinator also... I rarely studied if at all... but some how I manage to do just fine ... for what ever reason it didn't work out for you that way... so my advice is figure out what you want to do with your life and things should work out

[Gordon's Right]

It sounds like you have taken the most important step... and that is realizing that you have a problem that needs to be resolved!

 

Just stay motivated, stick to your goals and your plans, and you will make some progress in the right direction.

[big_girls_rock]

Thanks, I sure hope so. I'm reading this great book by the Author of all the Chicken Soup for the Soul books, it's "The Success Principles" by Jack Canfield and it looks great so far.

[RA1]

I have two people in my family who lack motivation for whatever reason and have decided not to work and be cared for by parents and/or the benefits system. It's certainly not that they are lazy but the reasons are mysterious. I think the encouraging thing in your case is that you do recognize a problem and haven't given up. I don't really have any practical advice but I'm looking out to see what others more knowledgeable than me may suggest.

[shadowplay]

Wow, you sound so much like me it's kind of scary! I'm 25 (almost 26), and just now finishing up my BA because I f__ked up so many times academically.

 

I started at a very selective school and screwed up there repeatedly until I was finally kicked out after being there for over five years. Then I was living at home for a year and a half before I saved up enough money to transfer to another school and pay off my tuition to the old school (they wouldn't release my transcript).

 

Now I'm at an OK school (not as good as the previous one) working towards a Bachelor of Fine Arts, but it's depressing to be so much older than everyone else around me.

 

I also just recently learned how to drive, in the past six months. I still have to take the driver's test for my license, but it's boosted my self esteem somewhat that I can at least drive. Like you I had gotten multiple permits and then never did anything with them.

 

This problem has been persistent in all aspects of my life, though it's gotten better. I still have this thing where I can't keep appointments. I'll make an appointment with a doctor and then never show. It's not that I don't want to go. It's just something stupid like I oversleep. I don't know why I do this to myself (and other people).

 

Like you the main problem is I avoid, avoid, avoid. I was even diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder by a psychologist at a low point in my life. It's something you might want to look up, as you seem to fit a number of the traits. I have ADD as well.

 

Nobody I know understands, especially in my family. They all think I'm a total screw up.

 

Anyway, sorry if that wasn't very helpful. Like you, I'm still trying to figure this out.

[LeXmaRk]

Dont give people that line that its a deeper problem. Thats nothing more than an excuse to keep you perpetualizing your same routine. I wont apologize for being straight forward neither.

 

Second off, you think to much. You have to many goals or plans that never get achieved.

 

Pick ONE goal and complete it.

 

What you need is someone to tell you where to start and make you do it. Which you wont find many places or people do so you better start learning to do it yourself.

 

Il help you get started, the rest is on your own because thats really all you have.

 

Step 1: Get a job to pay for drivers license/school.

[RA1]

Dont give people that line that its a deeper problem. Thats nothing more than an excuse to keep you perpetualizing your same routine.

 

...

 

Second off, you think to much.

 

...

 

Pick ONE goal and complete it.

 

She lacks motivation and you are basically telling her to snap out of it. I don't think that is very helpful.

[LeXmaRk]

Your opinion is dearly noted. But I disagree.

 

Lacking motivation is just another excuse. Allowing someone to have excuses just gives them another reason to feel like they need to be spoon fed and have thier hand held evertime they need to cross the street. I believe the motivation is their, or she wouldnt be here.