ub_009 Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 I'm 23 and I've been single my entire life. I am graduating from college and I have a very tough time meeting women that could be interested on me. I don't think it is too bad to be single at my age, but the lack of experience bothers me. Part of the reason I want to be with a girl is to have sex. I've only done it once, and it was with someone I met at a night club. I didn't find her attractive but I was drunk and I let things go. I don't consider that occasion a real experience and I really hate it to be this old and not ever meet that likes me for who I am. As I mentioned above, it is not only about sex, I just want to meet someone that is attractive to me, because honestly I can be a very kool guy once someone gets to know me. I can wait for the sex, as I know a lot of girls like to know their guy before they commit, but having someone that likes me would be a confidence buster to me. Problems I think I have: I'm short, 5'5, and skinny and honestly I don't have a cute face. It is not insecurity, I just know it. People tell me I look better without my glasses, but contacts don't work for me and I can't see well enough without glasses. I've been trying to use Match.com but it doesn't seem to work. By the way I think it is pathetic how most of the girls have a height requirement in the section that says 'About your Date'. Some of them are listed as 5'2 and they say they want a guy who is at least 6'0. What is so important about it? Can someone explain? Does anyone have any suggestions for me?
vertical Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 I can tell you what i think can help you out man. First off, girls like tall dudes. Im not a girl so i cant explain exactly why, but i think it is a security thing. When a girl is with a tall dude she feels safe and protected. But im probably wrong. But honestly, when is the last time you saw a boyfriend/girlfriend where the girl was taller? It is pretty rare. Anyway, you say you are a cool guy when people get to know you, so why not go out and get to know people? IMO, dating websites dont work. I know others may disagree, but i believe in a good ol fashioned meet someone and get their number sort of thing. You have to have qualities about you that sets you apart from any person. If your face isnt the greatest, then work on your body. If you are not in shape then girls wont get turned on really easilly. You say your glasses make you look funny? Well why not get a cooler set of glasses? I know you can get ones that dont look so awful. Just look around and find a nice cool pair. The thing that i think that gets a lot of girls is confidence. If a guy isnt confident if his looks and his personality, then a girl wont bother with him. Even if you are the ugliest guy on the planet, with a little bit of taking care of yourself and some extreme confidence you can pick up the best looking girls out there. But set your standards about mid range for now. Dont go for the really ugly and really easy to get girls unless you know they have an extremely amazing personality. You need confidence right now, so go for the girls that are average looking. Dont expect to get the gorgeous babes right now. Dont move to fast either. When you are with a girl, wait for her to want sex. Show that you are interested, but dont just ask her or go for it unless she signals you that she wants it. Sex can be an amazing thing if you wait for the one who you can actually have a good time with. So clean yourself up and work hard to look good. I say ditch the website and go to a few clubs. Dont get smashed, just look around for girls and try to get some numbers. Dont be desperate, if a girl turns you down then just say thanks anyway and walk away. Find a different girl to hang out with. The key to confidence is not caring if you get turned down or not. Lets face it, even the brad pitts of our days get turned down lol. If you have any other questions just fire away. This is probably not the best advice in the world, but i hope it helps some.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 First of all, I would just like to remark that if you want a relationship only to get sex, I would suggest you get a prostitute for that. Otherwise you'll just be wasting your time. Now on to your initial problem- you're 23 and you've never been in a relationship. Try not to let the lack of experience bring you down, there have been others in your situation so it's not something that would get you stigmatized. The point of starting any type of relationship is actually starting off meeting different people. Your social network of friends and random strangers are all a good place to start. May I also suggest you try to build up a little self confidence? Dating and relationships are based on mostly attraction and confidence. If you are confident in yourself, women will flock to you, never mind that you're merely 5'5. Since you're graduating college soon, have you decided to apply for any jobs yet? Your occupation will come into play when you meet others. Also think about the type of image you want to project. What kind of clothes do you wear? Are you still stuck in a " scene" phase? You're an adult, so think about dressing up like one. Abercrombie and Fitch is a good place to start. You want to go for prep as opposed to sticking with a band t-shirt and jeans. Glasses are fine if they don't make you look dorky. They normally go very well with a suit and tie, since they represent an image of intellect and professionalism. If there are things about yourself that you want to fix, do so. But don't go to extremes. Sometimes a little change can garner big results.
Hkizzle Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 Papercut knows her stuff. Model yourself after Tom Cruise. He's only 5"7. Overt confidence dude, saying someone will find you cool once they get to know you isn't good enough. Buy some trendy glasses, hit the gym. I know small guys that are buff and attract women. As for finding someone you're attracted to. Start off talking to all women, and people and learn how to interact well in all situations with charm and confidence.
confusedcookie Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 i'm 5'2, and i want a guy that is at least 5'10, so yes, i'm those girls that you mention in your post. my reason is that i like gazing up to my man, and yes, it also gives me a sense of protection. then again, i know that you can't control how tall you are, but then again, girls can't control how pretty or how long our legs are, and that matters to guys... lol
BobSacamento Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 Having a requirement for a guy that is 5'10" is retarded. 5'10" is above average. You will be limiting yourself to lumberjacks and the NBA.
Hkizzle Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 Having a requirement for a guy that is 5'10" is retarded. 5'10" is above average. You will be limiting yourself to lumberjacks and the NBA. What the hell are you talking about? 5"10 is the average height in the US and many European countries. Go check it out. 6"10 is the NBA..........
hawaiiicandy Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 I just went to one of my girlfriends' wedding in June. She met someone online and they are the cutest couple you've ever seen.. They've been together for over 2 years before getting engaged, and I never knew they met online until they told their story during the wedding speeches. Anyway, I have a hard time meeting people as well. I think I'm above average looking, but I'm too busy working and only go out with my girlfriends and seem to hang out with the same people all the time. So, internet websites help me get to know guys that I would never have the chance to meet. I've recently come across a new website: www.seewhosnext.com. It's actually pretty neat. You can rate people and get connected with people you find attractive. Reminds me a little of plenty of fish, but cooler. Lol.
Recommended Posts