Exit Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 Blah I could puke right now. Not only am I not over my ex, but I've made the mistake of trying to force a connection with a new girl, which has only led to more pain and regrets. We've been physical already, been spending a lot of time together, but also have broken into some strange random arguments, which I know are caused by my hurt and confusion from my breakup. Just a minute ago I was hit by a blinding wall of pain, my heart was pounding and my head was spinning, but I realized this pain was yet again being caused by an external source, another person, and that I am responsible for my own happiness. I have no idea how I wondered so far from my own path, how I became this weak. Can't stick to my diet, can't face my breakup without trying to replace her with a girl who I know is wrong for me... why am I not facing things like a man. In terms of my ex, this week I've spent a lot of time realizing she's an "emotional midget", lacking so many tools to be the type of person that I want to be with. She doesn't face problems, she runs. She doesn't analyze herself, she dishes out blame. I need to keep chipping away at this perfect vision I've created of her in my mind, it's simply not her. Most of all, I need to stop looking for cheap, easy things to lessen my pain. I need to take the high road, face the pain head on, and stop looking for a girlfriend right now. I know I only want one to lesson the blow of the fact that she's already with someone else.
ScarLettIsle Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 did u just call her an emotional midget???? rofl
hoping2heal Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 I can't be sure why, but it seems that "rebound" people, wether it's trying to just have sex, or force a connection seem to only make our pain worse. Don't beat yourself up over what you HAVEN'T been doing, who says you can't get back on the right track today? End things with the fling girl, hop back on the wagon. Don't let it pull you down just because you hadn't previously followed what you wanted. You're going to be just fine, you already have realised your ex isn't really what you want or need in a partner.
Author Exit Posted August 8, 2009 Author Posted August 8, 2009 Yes... I borrowed it from the term "mental midget" I've heard before, referring to low IQ. Well that applies to my ex in terms of emotions, she isn't connected to hers at all.
Author Exit Posted August 8, 2009 Author Posted August 8, 2009 I can't be sure why, but it seems that "rebound" people, wether it's trying to just have sex, or force a connection seem to only make our pain worse. Don't beat yourself up over what you HAVEN'T been doing, who says you can't get back on the right track today? End things with the fling girl, hop back on the wagon. Don't let it pull you down just because you hadn't previously followed what you wanted. You're going to be just fine, you already have realised your ex isn't really what you want or need in a partner. Well ironically this "rebound" is with another previous ex, and part of me did think something could possibly work out between us, but the last few days I've realized I'm just forcing it for the wrong reasons. You are so right, I was already sitting here thinking "it's not too late". It feels like I've fallen so far, but there's no reason for tomorrow not to be a new day, literally. It's not too late, I know I can do this. In other news, I got pulled over today for speeding to work but the cop let me go with a warning, so that was cool. Reminded me that life isn't all bad.
ScarLettIsle Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 hmm i may be related to her... healing has some valid points!! i am a cynic so i'm not sure i wanna respond...2morrow is another day (how very Scarlett O'hara)
GrayClouds Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 Blah I could puke right now. Not only am I not over my ex, but I've made the mistake of trying to force a connection with a new girl, which has only led to more pain and regrets. We've been physical already, been spending a lot of time together, but also have broken into some strange random arguments, which I know are caused by my hurt and confusion from my breakup. Just a minute ago I was hit by a blinding wall of pain, my heart was pounding and my head was spinning, but I realized this pain was yet again being caused by an external source, another person, and that I am responsible for my own happiness. I have no idea how I wondered so far from my own path, how I became this weak. Can't stick to my diet, can't face my breakup without trying to replace her with a girl who I know is wrong for me... why am I not facing things like a man. In terms of my ex, this week I've spent a lot of time realizing she's an "emotional midget", lacking so many tools to be the type of person that I want to be with. She doesn't face problems, she runs. She doesn't analyze herself, she dishes out blame. I need to keep chipping away at this perfect vision I've created of her in my mind, it's simply not her. Most of all, I need to stop looking for cheap, easy things to lessen my pain. I need to take the high road, face the pain head on, and stop looking for a girlfriend right now. I know I only want one to lesson the blow of the fact that she's already with someone else. not trying to be hard on you, it looks like your doing a good job of that yourself, i wanted to point something out that my be enlightening. you said she does not face her problems, she runs. you kind of did the same thing by running to a quick fix f@ck. maybe the lesson is it is time for you to face your pain and grow by become better in touch with your emotions. when you do you will find a girl who is not an "emotional midget" (great line by the way)
Author Exit Posted August 8, 2009 Author Posted August 8, 2009 something out that my be enlightening. you said she does not face her problems, she runs. you kind of did the same thing by running to a quick fix f@ck. Well I just want to defend myself a little bit here. I started hanging out with this other ex because of the common advice given around here "hang out with friends, get over your breakup!" I've been friends with this old ex for a long time and she offered to come over and cheer me up, and it worked. We hung out a handful of times just as friends and it was working as planned, but then we started to get physical and yeah.... now we're in a messy friends with benefits sort of thing, which caused the argument with her last night. So I wasn't looking for an easy screw or a rebound, I hung out with her because people suggested hanging out with friends. It just turned into something else. But you are right, I'm no better than my recent ex if I take the easy road.
ScarLettIsle Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 thats the crap that people spew - hang out with other people (especially ones u think are attractive) - when they don't know how to deal with their emotions - i have a best friend his name is JD (jack daniels) maybe u know him and he and i sit and talk at great lengths he never complains when i'm whining - being an ass - trippin or whatever - he lets me go on and ON about what i THINK the problem was... then take some advil and maybe tomorrow i'll see JD again... on the flip side i tend to hang with my gurls - and throw signals NO I"M NOT INTERESTED - and when i'm ready i throw in some fornication to break that physicial bond completely... but thats just me btw - this method elminates go backs and do overs - once i'm done ITS DONE
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