fiser360 Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I work with my ex whom I dated for 3 years. Well, the other day she came into work looking awful. I didn't really think too much of it until I kept seeing her and she just looked worse. So I asked what was wrong and she has a bladder infection and was in a lot of pain. So I called one of my buddies that we work with and tried to get him to come in for her and I would pay him. He said no. Well, I decided to go get her some cranberry juice and some over-the counter bladder infection pain meds to make her feel better. When I got back she seemed really happy that I did that for her and gave me a really big hug. I kind of feel like I was being a pushover for just jumping up and coming to "save the day". I'm not sure if I did the right thing, and took a step in the right direction toward reconciliation. Or if I should of told her to ask her new boyfriend to get stuff for her. Any thoughts?
hoping2heal Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I work with my ex whom I dated for 3 years. Well, the other day she came into work looking awful. I didn't really think too much of it until I kept seeing her and she just looked worse. So I asked what was wrong and she has a bladder infection and was in a lot of pain. So I called one of my buddies that we work with and tried to get him to come in for her and I would pay him. He said no. Well, I decided to go get her some cranberry juice and some over-the counter bladder infection pain meds to make her feel better. When I got back she seemed really happy that I did that for her and gave me a really big hug. I kind of feel like I was being a pushover for just jumping up and coming to "save the day". I'm not sure if I did the right thing, and took a step in the right direction toward reconciliation. Or if I should of told her to ask her new boyfriend to get stuff for her. Any thoughts? Pushover? I don't know. Chump? YES. It's one thing to ask someone to come in and work for her; that's a very nice thoughtful thing I would do for anyone I could see suffering. So, that was fine. But, offering to PAY someone? Man, I'm sure what made her happy was seeing what a big hold she has on you, I bet her ego popped a boner. And YES, if she has a BF HE should be doing those thing for her. You just look like a weenie stepping in.
Ronni_W Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I would say that you acted like a compassionate human being. If that was your aim then, yes, you did the "right" thing to achieve your goal. If she already has a new boyfriend, then one could suspect that she's not interested in a reconciliation with you. So, in terms of that, probably wouldn't have made a difference what you did, one way or the other.
hoping2heal Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I would say that you acted like a compassionate human being. If that was your aim then, yes, you did the "right" thing to achieve your goal. If she already has a new boyfriend, then one could suspect that she's not interested in a reconciliation with you. So, in terms of that, probably wouldn't have made a difference what you did, one way or the other. When he tried to find someone else to work for her; he was acting like a compassionate human being. When he was offering to pay someone to do it; unless he would of done that for ANYONE else, a man included; he was doing that part for HER and she KNOWS it.
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