DustySaltus Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Got a story to tell.... About ten years ago I met my ex fiance at a summer camp in NY. She is Israeli and I am American. We had a summer fling but she was my first love...I went away to school, she went back to Israel.....fast forward 8 years. I was on facebook one day and saw her as a "recommended friend" so I added her and we started having casual conversations for a few months, which led to phone calls and eventually me deciding that I wanted to visit there. At first it was for about 10 days, just to see the country and see her for a day or two. Well, I wound up staying at her place for about 3 weeks. About 4 days into the visit we got into a huge fight when she overheard me on the phone telling my friend that I was missing home a little bit....she told me that the entire thing was a mistake and told me to leave. Went to the airport, AT THE GATE....call her to say goodbye for good, she tells me NOT to gte on the plane. 2 hours and 400 angry passengers later, I hop in a cab back to the house. For the rest of the vacation everything was EXCELLENT and we addressed everything. She then came to NY for a month....... One again everything was great for the first few days...but she started to check my phone and questioned me about who female colleagues were...she walked out on me in the middle of dinner because of this. At this point I told her to pack her stuff and leave, I've had enough. She looked at me and told me....."You will be my Husband"...I just laughed and looked at her like she was crazy. We fot home, she started packing and once I heard that last zip of the bag, something came over me and I told her that I wanted her to stay. From that moment forward the rest of the trip was excellent..I mean she is a great woman, beautiful, smart and hilarious. The highs were the highest I ever had and the lows were the lowest. We went back and forth to visit each other a few times until the decision was made that I would move to Israel for various reasons that made sense with her at the time, but i can't really talk about. I was all set to quit my job, but in this economy and our turbulent history I decided to take a Leave of Absence instead, just in case something happened. We had an agreement that in one year if I was offered my dream job in America, we would consider moving back...more on this later. So I moved to Israel, went through the entire process of obtaining citizenship and the whole nine yards. Started looking for work over there and that was a job in its self, plus the salaries are not comparable to the US. It kind of had me down, because I wanted to be the MAN and contribute, but without knowing the language right away my immediate options were limited. In the meanwhile things with us were great, we really got to know each other a lot better and would stop disagreements right away before the escalated. We really learned from our mistakes. Then I received a call from that job a lot earlier than expected, they needed me in NY in one week. At this point she became different and told me that she didn't see herself moving in the next year if at all. I was devastated...I need to choose between a career and the woman of my dreams. I needed to make this decision in the next few days. Well, as it turns out she was checking my emails for a few weeks. She knew I hadn't quit my job and read emails to my mother saying that I was "thinking" (again, keyword "thinking") about maybe coming back. However, I was still in Israel trying to fight my way through things and breakthrough that initial culture shock. I asked her how she knew my password and she said that my computer was open. So when she left for work I sent an email to my friend saying..."im coming back tomorrrow to sort things out":...well about an hour later she came back from work and told me to pack up and leave. She took my key, told me she never wanted to speak with me again and told me that she would send emails to both my job and dream job to tell them what kind of person I "really was". And I was just about to call my job and quit for good and put an end to any questions. Well, at that point I just got back on a plane to america. It turns out that she did send an email to my boss trying to get me fired. She won't give me the ring back and lied about sending it back in the mail a few times but the "address was wrong". She also told me that she was seeing someone else that treated her better than I ever did (and that was one week after I left..does this guy exist?!?!). I've been back for a few weeks now and am trying to figure out if this is really the end, considering all that has occured. Love is illogical sometimes and I know I should probably just move on, but at the same time I have no doubt that she was the love of my life.
aerogurl87 Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 She sounds kind of psychotic, yeah you need to move on. I know it may be hard but someone who goes through all of that to hurt you (calling your job to try to get you fired) does not deserve to be loved by you. You would've given up everything to be with her and yet she didn't trust or respect you. Of course you're going to be homesick, who wouldn't be being that far from home? But if you need support I'm sure everyone here will be here for you.
Katherineos123 Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I remember you telling your story before, and I agree. That relationship was BEYOND dysfunctional, and I know you truly felt as if this was the girl of your dreams.... You are much much better off without her. She seems a little Koo Koo Kachoo to me... The silver lining in this is that you are obviously not afraid to go above and beyond for the woman you love... which is something that many men have a problem doing... So when the RIGHT lady comes along... She is going to be an incredibly well loved and happy one! ... Im jealous ....
Lovelymisa Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 Dusty, I've seen you posted this many times. You need to move on ...this woman is not worth your time. She is not normal - she does not love you. Her behavior shows just how much she does not love you. If she loved you, she would be willing to relocate just as much as you were willing to relocate for her. I would jump through hoops of fire for the one I love. I would take a bullet for him - he is my number one priority and his happiness is my happiness. You need to move on and when you least expect it - will come a woman who will do everything she can in her power to make you happy - she will love you with all of her heart and soul. She will go above and beyond for you. You need to have No Contact with this woman - absolutely none. Let her be gone forever in your life. You will not regret this. I can be your No Contact buddy if you like - anytime u feel the urge to contact her or you need someone to talk to - i can help you to make sure you won't. Let me know. I really feel that is necessary for you to stop loving someone who does not deserve your love.
Author DustySaltus Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 Dusty, I've seen you posted this many times. You need to move on ...this woman is not worth your time. She is not normal - she does not love you. Her behavior shows just how much she does not love you. If she loved you, she would be willing to relocate just as much as you were willing to relocate for her. I would jump through hoops of fire for the one I love. I would take a bullet for him - he is my number one priority and his happiness is my happiness. You need to move on and when you least expect it - will come a woman who will do everything she can in her power to make you happy - she will love you with all of her heart and soul. She will go above and beyond for you. You need to have No Contact with this woman - absolutely none. Let her be gone forever in your life. You will not regret this. I can be your No Contact buddy if you like - anytime u feel the urge to contact her or you need someone to talk to - i can help you to make sure you won't. Let me know. I really feel that is necessary for you to stop loving someone who does not deserve your love. lovely, that would be lovely. I need a buddy I was going to leave her a message tonight but I won't. Thanks to you
Green Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I'm going to come in and play devils advocate and say your both crazy. There is no doubt in my mind you are both in love. Seriously if she is your dream girl then don't let her go. In my mind I think I've found my dream girl and lucky for me at the moment we don't face as great a challenge as you do with the different country thing. are you around 24 years old? I 'm just curiouse. She doesn't sound like a psycho to me nesicarily. Look man if I really loved a girl I'd find a way to make it work or die trying. If you can't live in Israel just keep begging her to come see you or better yet go to Israel and drag her back to the states kicking and screaming.. If you think you can make it work in Israel then move there. Do you want to find some one who is convient in your life or do you want your dream girl back? If shes not your dream girl then why do you call her that?
hoping2heal Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I'm going to come in and play devils advocate and say your both crazy. There is no doubt in my mind you are both in love. Seriously if she is your dream girl then don't let her go. In my mind I think I've found my dream girl and lucky for me at the moment we don't face as great a challenge as you do with the different country thing. are you around 24 years old? I 'm just curiouse. She doesn't sound like a psycho to me nesicarily. Look man if I really loved a girl I'd find a way to make it work or die trying. If you can't live in Israel just keep begging her to come see you or better yet go to Israel and drag her back to the states kicking and screaming.. If you think you can make it work in Israel then move there. Do you want to find some one who is convient in your life or do you want your dream girl back? If shes not your dream girl then why do you call her that? Both In love? No, don't think so. Feelings? Yes, there are feelings, BUT How could you possibly intentionally sabotage the dream job of someone you love just so you can keep them closer to you? That isn't love. That is selfishness in the worst case scenario.
Lovelymisa Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 lovely, that would be lovely. I need a buddy I was going to leave her a message tonight but I won't. Thanks to you I'm so glad you did not leave her a message. I'm so happy I could help. I understand you still love her - but you need to fight the temptation to contact her. You will be so glad you did once you truly get over her - and you meet the woman of your life- your soulmate. I am positive she would be so happy to know you are not still dwelling on your ex as well Here is my email [email protected] Email me anytime you feel the urge to contact her or if you just need to vent or talk to someone
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