notsoperfectcatch Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 ok, I am a 24 year old, attractive female. I have been in numerous relationships where trust just wasn't there and for the first time i find myself on the wrong side of the situation. I have met what could be " the one" and for some reason, when it comes to money problems I just cant be honest with him. Now I do work full time and I do not have any habits that causes me to loose money, I just cant hold up my part of the bills sometimes due to something else I am needed to pay and It scares the HELL out of me to even think of telling him hat I am just over run, so I lie and make things seem like there ok. Now the inevitable has happened, my depts has caught up with me and found him as well and it still took me the whole day to come completely clean. . . I know i did wrong, and I know that he deserves better. But when it comes to financial issues I can't bring myself to fill him in. Maybe its the fear of his reaction, or maybe I just don't want to seem like I can't handle my portion of the bills. For clarity sake, we both have okay paying jobs and he has NEVER hit me or insinuated that he would, I have been on my own since 16 and I have rarely had a problem maintaining my responsibilities until recently. I love him and i don't want to loose him, but i don't know how to get over the overwhelming feeling of utter fear when there is an issue on my part about money...any advice or suggestions or response in general is gladly welcomed... I will do ANYTHING to keep him in my life and for us to overcome this obsticle ..together
girl68 Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Go speak to a banker. Consolidate your debt. All you talk about is feelings. You're not taking any real steps to set up accounts, withdrawls and payments that are scheduled and regular and WILL get rid of your debt. Fix your problem not just talk about it.
norajane Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I have been on my own since 16 and I have rarely had a problem maintaining my responsibilities until recently. What has changed for you recently that you are having trouble meeting your payments? It would probably be a good idea to just tell him what's going on and ask him to help you get back on track by helping you set up a budget and figure out where you can cut some costs. I don't know where your money is going, so can't comment on where you should cut back. If you approach him by asking for his help, rather than in a "confession" mode, you may get a little further. Because you are acknowledging that you're in over your head, you're showing that it is not all right with you to be in over your head because you believe in being responsible, and you trust his judgment to help you figure out what to do. You're a team, so treat him like he's part of your team.
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