Author Hkizzle Posted August 11, 2009 Author Posted August 11, 2009 I like your post Gamine, and interesting you see the darker side for what it really is.
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Yeah I think the true definition of love is that. I think however many people seem to have a lower, corrupted version of love. Or maybe some folks just confuse “I love because I need you” with “I need you because I love you.” (???) Sure is easy enough to do.
MSUE Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 someone that I truly love and care for and my feelings are real and genuine...which is how I feel about my BF...no...I'm not capable of cheating...my sex life is great as it is so I have no need in any shape or form either
snoopy girl Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 I like your post Gamine, and interesting you see the darker side for what it really is. hkizzle, yes it is the dark side. i call it "The Secret Society Of Men" its what men know and won't tell. i've been married for over 25yrs. and in the last 3yrs. i have found out all the nasty things that husbands can do when away from their wives. my husband still is trying to tell me that things like that doesn't go on. he has snowed me for years and now he can't understand why i am so bitter towards him. long history of topless bars, porn, and women co-workers. the way i found out all this is through forums of anything you can think of on the world wide web, it has opened my eyes greatly. it all boils down to choices, and what you can get by with, like a thrill game for the cheater. when it over or they get cought, its up to us to pick up the pieces of our broken heart.. i have never cheated nor would i ever, two wrongs won't make a right but don't think i haven't thought about..
anne1707 Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Yes it is possible to cheat on someone you love. To my deep regret, I have to admit that I did this (as some of you may already know). I never stopped loving my husband and cannot ever imagine not loving him in the future. I made a huge mistake and thankfully I am still with my husband and making a success of our marriage. To those who say "those who cheat.... blah, selfish, blah, values..." well good for you that you have lived a "perfect" life. Long may that continue. At least I can say that the love my husband and I have for each other has been truly tested and we have passed this test together.
StarChick Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 I think you can cheat on someone you love. I think cheating has less to do with love and more to do with lack of respect. Of course, the kind of love we all want includes respect, but as some of the stories above illustrate, it's not always the case. The guys who were hiring hookers probably did love their wives. The actions speak of men who don't respect their wives or marriages, though.
loveslife Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 I think it's more a question of the cheater not loving themselves when they cheat. Selfish? It's not selfish, it's self-destructive.
harmfulsweetz Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 I know it's possible to cheat on someone you love. I've done it. Do I love him any less than if I hadn't cheated at all? No. I'm human, I make mistakes. I regret it. I hate myself for doing it, why would someone do that to someone they love? Because life doesn't hold all the answers in a little book and nothing comes in a sweet little package where truth and honesty are held. People fall into traps, obstacles and sometimes they choose the wrong path. I don't believe it was ever about me not loving my boyfriend enough, I'd do anything to put it right, to replace the equillibrium, but I can't. I'm not condoning cheating, but so many people actually have rather strange ideas about what life is actually like. Life isn't easy, life doesn't come all pre-packaged with all those nice little answers and we don't all have the same integrity, we are weak at times. We are human. So many people say they will never ever cheat, but how do you know that? Until you've been tested, you can't know. I always thought I would never cheat, not in a million years. But I did. We hurt the people we love the most. I'm glad so many of you seem to have it all worked out, wish I could be as clued up....
Untouchable_Fire Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Cheating is a selfish choice. It's all about self-love of "what have you done for me lately", instead of "I love you for who you are and are willing to do whatever I can, to fuel a healthy relationship between the two of us. Of course this includes you also doing the same thing for US". This is the absolute core of it! Love... real love, not whatever bullsh** psychobabble Hollywood throws at us,... means you put someone else before yourself. So, it's not really possible to cheat on someone you love! The real question for cheating is this. Can you love someone.... stop loving them... and then love them again???
Dexter Morgan Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 So is it impossible to love someone and cheat? Hmm...... If I love someone I won't cheat. And for those that say they love their partner, yet cheat anyway...was that before you came in, on, or with the affair partner?
harmfulsweetz Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I don't think you're in a place to comment then Dexter. Very simply because you don't know if its possible to or not because you've not been there. People on here seem so quick to judge, to burn people at the stake for what is, essentially, a mistake. Not everyone can make the right choice, much as we wish we had before we cheated. I regret cheating, (only a kiss) but I can't change it, I was in a place where I was unsure of what I wanted. I know now that what I want and need are two different things-I may think I want to go out and have a good time with men, but I know I need my boyfriend, I do love him.
Dexter Morgan Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 I don't think you're in a place to comment then Dexter. Very simply because you don't know if its possible to or not because you've not been there. i'm not there because I wouldn't allow myself to be there. And if I love someone, cheating simply isn't going to happen. So I am very much in a place to comment.
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