He's been gone one week :(

[some girl]

So, i've never done this before and i kinda feel like an idiot about the whole thing. I'm just looking for....well, actually i dont know? I guess i'm just looking for some input from some outsiders?

 

My world came crashing down last Thursday. It was very unexpected.

He and i have always had our problems, and of course we've tried to end it before. What it always comes down to is this, we love one another very much, we'll make up and things will be smooth sailing for awhile. I cant imagine my life without him and a thought of another man makes me want to be sick. Our story is much different from a lot of other stories out there. He has had a rough up bringing and so have i.

 

We were involved in terrible things for a longtime, we became pregnant and that changed our whole outlook on life, but because of the things that have happened to him in his past (massive, terrible and imaginable abuse) He suffers with anger and post traumatic stress and severe depression. He doesn't know how to properly diffuse his anger and often times he would take it out on me, by withholding love, by yelling, by destroying personal belongings, by ignoring, intimidation ect. I'm not saying he's always physical, he's only been physical twice in a 3 and half year span (some say that's too much).These are what we call red flags.

 

I have chosen to leave him twice already. One time ending up at my parents, the other time at a womans shelter. I went through extensive counselling and womans group therapy, he in turn checked himself into the hospital and got help there. The shelter found me affordable housing and i registered for school and i was on my way to recovery and a new life. He and i still talked regularly (afterall, he's the father of my child) but i was scared of him. We weren't sure if it was finished or not, we weren't talking about what needed to be talked about.

Hastily, i went out and found someone new. BIG MISTAKE!! It was really nothing at all. I just did it to spite my ex because he had called me one night to get a rise outta me. He told me he was going to go out and find the next skanky girl and f#ck her. It was terrible, i was devastated...all because i needed some extra time to think about things. In actuality, the screwed up thing about all of this is, apparently he was just sitting with his mother that night, laughing at me, because i wouldn't stop calling him. What kind of a person does that?

 

Two wrongs dont make a right and that's where the other guy came in. I dont know what i was thinking? I guess i was just hoping this new person would steal my heart away, so i could be done for good with my childs father.

It didn't turn out that way at all and in fact the whole time i was talking to this new person, i felt extremely messed up and out of place, it just didn't feel right. We were never intimate (thank God), we only shared one kiss and just a whole lot of empty conversation on the phone. I met up for coffee with him once and he came over to my house once to drop off a cell phone charger...that's it, that's the extent of it. I told him we couldn't talk anymore and that i wanted to work things out with my one true love, father of my child. I know...it's stupid, but i love him, more than words can express and without him i am lost...completely lost.

So we patched things up and things seemed better. He moved in with me and our son and we were living like a happy family. Until, he found out about this other guy. It all hit the fan. But we talked it out and i had thought we could move on from this. We have been living together (again) for the past 7 months and on occasion something arises and he'll have difficulty dealing with me "cheating" on him. I haven't done anything, i learned from my mistake. And, i would never do anything to hurt him again. As far as i know things were going well up until last week.

 

He basically was planning a trip to Toronto, to possibly start a new life there for himself and oneday i'd follow him, as soon as he planted his feet into the ground somewhere. It was suppose to be a long distance thing. We had no choice in the matter. He had to move cities, because there is no work where i am living currently. Drastic measures, y'know? We have a kid to feed and take care of. So, he left last Thursay and he hasn't called once (not even to talk to our son) He has msgd me, to let me know that he arrived alive.

And here is where it get's really weird. He msgd me several times this week, angry, uncaring, just being a real jerk. He said to me, that i "cheated" on him and that he's not coming back home ever. He wont tell me for sure if it's over, but i mean, come on...he's never coming back, so i think it's over?

 

I have no way of reaching him, i dont know where he is or who he is staying with. The only way i can reach him, is through facebook, but he never replies to my questions. I'm really hurt and confused right now about all of this. I have been so sick (throwing up) sick, i feel like i might be pregnant again (or maybe it's just stress?) and i just miss him so much. I feel like maybe he's met someone else...cause, how in the hell is it possible for someone to turn on a dime like that? I'm sorry this is long and drawn out,So, i've never done this before and i kinda feel like an idiot about the whole thing. I'm just looking for....well, actually i dont know? I guess i'm just looking for some input from some outsiders?

[lorilynne]

Aside from just caring about him, which obviously he doesn't care about you or your child, you need to get in touch with the district attorney's office to let them know he moved. Tell them you don't know where, or who his employer is. Tell them everything you do. At the very least this jerk owes you money and shouldn't get off scott-free!