mogul Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I apologize for the following semi long vent. ~I haven't been on here for a while because i haven't really had any issues that needed to be dealt with. However, I just came back from my weekly clubbing routine with friends and am shocked. I was having a good time with friends, enjoying myself and meeting new people. Near the end of the night, I see this girl who honestly really looked like someone i would date with a sub par guy. I ask her the usual bs question "if that was her boyfriend" joked how she seemed like she was having so much fun and what not. She laughed, we danced intimately for a few songs and talked. Asked her to the bar for a drink and we talked there for another 10-15 minutes. She seemed interested and asked some personal questions and vice versa. The whole time, we were having a good time, joked often and we always had a smile on both our faces. We go to the couch to sit and talk. This is now nearing closing time, and her friends find her and talk to her since they are about to leave. She introduced me to her friends. All women. Nothing seemed to go wrong and i shook hands and seemed polite with all of them. OUT OF NO WHERE, one of her female friends in particular ask to take her to the restroom and it is the beginning of the end. They go, come out (and i could only assume they talked about me/situation) while i am at the side with friends. She does not walk up to me so i decide to walk up to her, let her know im leaving and asked for her number. She says wait a moment? and her friend drags her away. -My question is what exactly happened when things seemed to be going perfectly? It went so well i didn't even feel the need to pretend that i have to go find friends, end the convo early and get the number right away since i wanted to spend the rest of my time at the club with her. I completely regret not doing the latter and certainly would of gotton her number. What could her friend of possibly said to her that made her go from hot to cold so quickly? Why did she, right after the restroom break seemed to start avoiding me after speaking with her friend. Im confused because she was the one that decided to dance with me while already with some other guy, as well as complimenting me on my looks saying that she thought i was cute? I'm almost certain her friends and her entered the club later in the night so they did not see me talk/bar/number routine with the other girls? I am confused because i saw potential in her and not as another fling. Thanks to all for the responses.
leap83 Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Ok. I'll be blunt with you. When it comes to gf's they will always, and I mean always say the wrong thing even if they mean well. It's not like they know they're saying the wrong thing, but women's logic is different than men's (you probably already know this). Now... Her friend didn't like you. She either didn't like the way you looked (very superficial) or she didn't like your personality (again, very superficial because she doesn't even know you - women base their opinions on instincts). So, when they went to the restroom, obviously they were talking about you. The girl that spent the night with you probably asked her friend what she thought of you and the friend probably said that she didn't like you... that you looked like a loser.... etc (even though you're not - I'm being blunt here). How old was she, if you don't mind me asking? Usually when you're young, you tend to listen to your friends (I'm a girl so I know how this works) and you tend to ignore your gut or whatever you want because of what your friends told you. Sounds lame, I know. However, once you mature and grow older, you don't really care all that much about what other people say. You ask for an opinion and you listen to them, take their view into consideration, but you don't necessarily go about as to taking their view and turning it into your own. So, I think your girl liked you... But the friend didn't. I'm sorry that I have to say this, but she's pretty dumb (IMO) to not find out more about you before she makes a decision. So, I would let it go. It's not worth it. Could you imagine if you were in a relationship with this person? Her friends would sway her opinion all the time! Sorry about being blunt. These things annoy me too about some females, even though I'm a female too. Haha
New Again Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 It sounds kinda like this girl asked her friend to rescue her from you, but that they were awkward and totally unskilled at it. This scenario sounds most likely to me. Or it also sounded kinda like maybe the friend (or someone else in the group who told the friend) knew something about you? It's a very small chance, but it could happen. OR maybe the friend told her that the other guy was mad/jealous/left or something and so the girl you were talking to felt bad or something and realized she shouldn't have spent so much time with you. And of course it could also simply be that the friend was like "ew why are you talking to him" but I have a very hard time imagining a) anyone other than very young girls doing that or b) allowing her to talk to you for so long if that was the case.
Author mogul Posted August 7, 2009 Author Posted August 7, 2009 Thanks leap. Whats annoying was her friend was probably so fake. Saying how nice it was to meet me, asking us questions etc... -New Again, yeah, i was thinking of that too but then i was confused at how when i danced with her and "saved" her from the other guy she thanked me as did her friend and we talked the whole night from there. I doubt her friends or her would think i was ugly or a loser seeing as how she noticed and told me i looked good and that she was shy to talk to me at first and thanked me for saving her. Also, that my friends and i all had a table and had ridiculous amounts of bottles and could see we were all with other women as well and by no means losers. Im just confused with the whole situation. Not exactly bothering me, but curious and annoyed. Thanks for the input yall.
New Again Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Thanks leap. Whats annoying was her friend was probably so fake. Saying how nice it was to meet me, asking us questions etc... -New Again, yeah, i was thinking of that too but then i was confused at how when i danced with her and "saved" her from the other guy she thanked me as did her friend and we talked the whole night from there. I doubt her friends or her would think i was ugly or a loser seeing as how she noticed and told me i looked good and that she was shy to talk to me at first and thanked me for saving her. Also, that my friends and i all had a table and had ridiculous amounts of bottles and could see we were all with other women as well and by no means losers. Im just confused with the whole situation. Not exactly bothering me, but curious and annoyed. Thanks for the input yall. I'm not saying you're not losers and so on - but I would like to point out that that is how YOU perceive the situation and your friends - and that is how you might perceive the situation if you were outside looking in. You don't know how someone else would perceive it, you, or your friends. Just for example: while you perceive having a table with ridic amts of bottles and other women as being socially desirable, this girl and/or her friends might perceive that as douche-y or that you're a bunch of players. Or a number of other ways that differs from your perception. Everyone's experiences and backgrounds shade their perceptions differently.
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