youngkjoh Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Exactly one month ago I got caught cheating on my girlfriend. I wasnt something that i had been doing i just made a bad mistake and used very bad judgement. The thing is this wasnt just a typical girlfriend to me. I love her with all my heart. To make things worse is that i was the only thing in her life that made her happy. She always said that i gave her life. Her family treated me like one of their own. I love her and want her back so bad. I know the error in my ways and i will never put us through anything like this again. My question is this. How do I get her back before she falls into the arms of another man
Hkizzle Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Get ready to get flamed, lol. 90% of the people here will say you're a scumbag that doesn't deserve her, you're immature and obviously don't love her, and deserve to die lonely since you're a selfish person. This forum is not the place to come for advice if you've cheated and want to know what to do. Anyway, sounds like she already knows about the incident and the two of you are not together right now? What can you do other than apologize, buy her flowers, get down on your knees and beg forgiveness?
Author youngkjoh Posted August 7, 2009 Author Posted August 7, 2009 I thanks for the heads up man. We talk almost everyday but she keeps sayin that she dont see herself getting back with me. I have done the whole roses and gifts thing. The way i see it is other women love to dog men out when the find out they cheated on a girl. Its fun for them to talk about. I thinks it so messed up that most poeple cant understand that just because you made a mistake once that you will ofcoarse will do it again and you are now labeled for life. You dont have to go to prison to rehabilitate yourself and undesrstand your wrong actions, and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make right of your wrongs. They dont even know nothing bout me but with that little bit of knowledge thet think they can write a book about me. It makes me laugh. What do you think
Trialbyfire Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 One of THE most important elements in a relationship is trust. If you loved her so much, why would you have broken this trust? Something tells me that you've only learned to appreciate her, after you've lost her. Good luck getting her back, particularly if she's found someone new. Repairing lost trust is like trying to put humpty-dumpty back again. Move on and learn something from this experience.
boldjack Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Dude, spilling wine on the carpet is a mistake. Cheating on your partner is a character flaw, that has to be corrected, so you can move on as an honest man. If you really loved and respected this woman, you wouldn't have done it, so don't try to tell the posters that you love her with all your heart, nobody will believe you.
Hkizzle Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I thanks for the heads up man. We talk almost everyday but she keeps sayin that she dont see herself getting back with me. I have done the whole roses and gifts thing. The way i see it is other women love to dog men out when the find out they cheated on a girl. Its fun for them to talk about. I thinks it so messed up that most poeple cant understand that just because you made a mistake once that you will ofcoarse will do it again and you are now labeled for life. You dont have to go to prison to rehabilitate yourself and undesrstand your wrong actions, and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make right of your wrongs. They dont even know nothing bout me but with that little bit of knowledge thet think they can write a book about me. It makes me laugh. What do you think ok so you've done all that and she still doesn't want you back. Sorry buddy, no magic bullet. Although I don't believe in crucifying someone that's cheated and feels sorry for what they did, if she doesn't take you back that's her choice. You've hurt her and she doesn't trust you anymore. How strangers judge you and how the person you cheated on judge you are two different things.
Author youngkjoh Posted August 7, 2009 Author Posted August 7, 2009 I understand that, and i know that know one can tell her whats in her heart. I just know that deep down she know that i am a good person, and like i said i could care less bout what others think of me cause there not the ones i am tryin to be wit. thats also why i laugh when they say these things. would you care
Hkizzle Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Yeah this board cracks me up with some of the responses given. Especially since they're responses people know prior to cheating, that's it's bad, etc. I can understand if someone came on this board and said they just shot up a mall, intentionally ran someone over or raped someone, but really...........cheating is so friggin common in this society. Half the responses are judgemental because these people have had someone cheat on them. One thing they say is true though. Learn from this. If you commit a crime or anything wrong, you better be able to deal with the consequences. If you can't then don't do it..........
AlektraClementine Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 It's not always about forgiving a mistake. If my fiance cheated on me, it wouldn't matter whether or not he's a good person deep down inside. I'd never take him back. Why? Because making love to him would be forever painful. You gotta look at it this way. You did what you did and that was a choice. Not a mistake. Now her choice is whether or not to take you back. There's no law that says we must forgive the follies and vices of other simply because they're sorry. Just like there's no law that dictates where you stick your penis. People flame and judge on loveshack because it is their prerogative to do so. It is also your prerogative to ignore the answers that don't suit you. That's one major reason that I am very selective about the posts that I start. I only post my own threads when I am truly seeking all flavors of replies so that I CAN get perspective other than my own about a situation that I'm in. Take it or leave it.
Dexter Morgan Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Exactly one month ago I got caught cheating on my girlfriend. I wasnt something that i had been doing i just made a bad mistake and used very bad judgement. The thing is this wasnt just a typical girlfriend to me. I love her with all my heart. if you did, you wouldn't have cheated on her.....wouldn't have even come close. To make things worse is that i was the only thing in her life that made her happy. She always said that i gave her life. Her family treated me like one of their own. I love her and want her back so bad. I know the error in my ways and i will never put us through anything like this again. My question is this. How do I get her back before she falls into the arms of another man hopefully she does fall into the arms of another man...one that will be true to her and not cheat. really, at what point does a cheater decide they "love" the person they cheated on? after the orgasm?
Dexter Morgan Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 The way i see it is other women love to dog men out when the find out they cheated on a girl. Its fun for them to talk about. I'm a man, and I despise cheaters. I thinks it so messed up that most poeple cant understand that just because you made a mistake once that you will ofcoarse will do it again and you are now labeled for life. first, you didn't make a mistake, you fooled around with another woman because you wanted to. second, you can learn from your crap decisions and apply it to a future relationship. you deserve to lose this girl....and if you do, you just learn your lesson and not screw it up with the next. You dont have to go to prison to rehabilitate yourself and undesrstand your wrong actions, and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make right of your wrongs. They dont even know nothing bout me but with that little bit of knowledge thet think they can write a book about me. It makes me laugh. What do you think i think you are hearing from people that have been hurt by people like you....and if you are going to take a defensive stance against those who have been in your gf's shoes, then its not hard to see how you ended up cheating with that laissez faire attitude.
Peanut9330 Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Well I got cheated on by my boyfriend and he made all the wrong moves when trying to get me back, but eventually he got me back and it felt so wrong being with him, I didn’t trust him and I had no idea how to even start trusting him, we would argue and I kept on throwing that girl in his face, I just couldn’t get over it no matter how hard I tried, I loved him with all my heart but the cheating changed both of us and so it didn’t work. I had to walk away because it was too much to handle, and to this day I never looked back but as far as some things you can do to try and get her back are the following. 1. Show her that your truly sorry for what you did and sincerely apologize and explain to her how and why this happened. 2. Don’t use stupid excuses to justify what you did for example I don’t know what I was thinking or she was there and it just happened that’s the worst thing you can do. 3. Show her that you truly care for her and allow her time to think things through. 4. Let her know that you would like to discuss this but only when she's ready. 5. Don’t get upset at her when she gets angry and throws this incident in your face because I’m sure she will. 6. Prove to her that she can trust you and for this one you have to be very patient. 7. the most important thing you should do is respect her wishes if she asks for space give it to her let her think about everything and if she feels that this relationship is worth saving she will work on it with you if not……you need to move on. If my ex took the time to do any of this for me then my outlook on this situation would have been different and I would try harder to work on it, but since he didnt I moved on. Remember you cant force someone to love you or be with you and if you guilt your way back into her life she wont be around for long. Your the one that made that decision and now you have to live with the consequences, I don’t feel that cheating in anyway just happens, I would never be able to cheat if I really cared about someone and there would be no excuse to justify it, but like I said its up to her now if you really love her your going to have to accept whatever decision she makes. Good Luck
frustrated&sad Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 If you really love her--and I mean truly love her with all your heart--tell her that and then walk away. The decision is then hers. You know the adage, If you love something, set it free? You should try it perhaps. You've broken her trust, and once that bond is gone it is very hard, pretty much impossible, to get back short term. Tell her how you feel one last time, then tell her you won't contact her again. Then allow her to move on as she sees fit. It is the least you can do for her.
stillafool Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 When you say you made a mistake and cheated on her - are you saying you inserted your penis in who you thought was your gf but later found out she was not? Is that what you mean by mistake?
Trialbyfire Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 i think you are hearing from people that have been hurt by people like you....and if you are going to take a defensive stance against those who have been in your gf's shoes, then its not hard to see how you ended up cheating with that laissez faire attitude.As an FYI, I think this poster is a sock puppet for another member to posture about his pro-cheating/PUA stances.
New Again Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 As an FYI, I think this poster is a sock puppet for another member to posture about his pro-cheating/PUA stances. :lmao: That's exactly what I thought too when I read the first two posts.
GrayClouds Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Exactly one month ago I got caught cheating on my girlfriend. I wasnt something that i had been doing i just made a bad mistake and used very bad judgement. you did not make a mistake but a choice and choices have consequences.
JustLooking123 Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 There's nothing you can do. The ball is in her court now. There is a good chance she will never take you back, and/or will never completely forgive what you did. That's the consequences of cheating - and you have to live with it.
dreamergrl Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I've been cheated on. I'm not going to sit here and brand you, but I will say that no matter what, I wasn't able to look past it and be okay. I thought I could, but in the end the trust just could not be rebuilt. Now, people are different... but I must say, I doubt roses and the whole shabang will make up for the hurt you caused. You need to say what you have to say, and let her come to terms with it all on her own. I will say though, no excuses on why or how come will ever explain it. It's all about whether or not she is willing to give you another shot, and then you both have to figure out how to rebuild the trust from there. I could never go back to a cheater. I would never be able to look at him the same. Because in my mind, I will never understand how if a person loves someone so much, why they would hurt them like that. And I do think it is sad that it takes losing the one you love before you realize what they mean to you.
Hkizzle Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 :lmao: That's exactly what I thought too when I read the first two posts. Nope, this is actually someone else. Sockpuppets are retarded, I can make a point just posting under my own account, why make a different account?
hoping2heal Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 Exactly one month ago I got caught cheating on my girlfriend. I wasnt something that i had been doing i just made a bad mistake and used very bad judgement. The thing is this wasnt just a typical girlfriend to me. I love her with all my heart. To make things worse is that i was the only thing in her life that made her happy. She always said that i gave her life. Her family treated me like one of their own. I love her and want her back so bad. I know the error in my ways and i will never put us through anything like this again. My question is this. How do I get her back before she falls into the arms of another man If she wasn't just a typical gf to you and you love her with all your heart, why wasn't the pain you would cause her, enough to snap you out of your moment of bad judgement? You need to ask yourself that.
Brady_to_Moss Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 I love her with all my heart. Of course you do. By cheating on the person you love, just means you love them even more!! Idiot.
Pillow Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Exactly one month ago I got caught cheating on my girlfriend. I wasnt something that i had been doing i just made a bad mistake and used very bad judgement. The thing is this wasnt just a typical girlfriend to me. I love her with all my heart. To make things worse is that i was the only thing in her life that made her happy. She always said that i gave her life. Her family treated me like one of their own. I love her and want her back so bad. I know the error in my ways and i will never put us through anything like this again. My question is this. How do I get her back before she falls into the arms of another man Let her go, kjoh. For once, please stop thinking about yourself and think about what's best for her. She doesn't deserve to be w/ someone who disrespected her by cheating on her and your know it. Don't get her back. If she comes to you, fine, but if she doesn't, let her go. And get over yourself while you're at it.
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