Hkizzle Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I don't mean this in a bad way, just curious why there seems to be a culture of talking to therapists in the US? I've been to the US many times, but from the UK and living in Asia right now, and I've travelled a lot. None of the other places I've been to has nearly as many shrinks. So what's with all the visits?
melodymatters Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Huge generalization, BUT: I believe many other cultures value family and friends above money and status. In the former cultures, one has many available people to talk things out with. In the latter, we are so alone and estranged, that we need to pay somone to help us hear what our inner voice/heart/gut is trying to tell us.
EddieN Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I don't know what other cultures are like, but in the US there seems to be this constant social charade. No one wants to open up to anyone else and admit they have problems, because they're afraid others will judge them and shun them for not being cool, which is mostly true. It's utterly wrong, but it's reality.
Citizen Drawn Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 On the one extreme, people on one side of the world often have no time to look at small problems, they're too busy trying to put food on the table. On the other extreme people on the other side of the world have so much food on the table that whenever a small problem comes along they use an internet questionnaire to diagnose an underlying disorder and see a therapist.
Author Hkizzle Posted August 7, 2009 Author Posted August 7, 2009 I am of course refering to developed countries only.......
norajane Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Maybe we're more f*cked up than everyone else. We're number 1! We're number 1!
Trialbyfire Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Maybe we're more f*cked up than everyone else. We're number 1! We're number 1!
Citizen Drawn Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I am of course refering to developed countries only....... I would think that even if the country is developed GDP over the last few decades is still a high feature. I don't think it's a coincidence that countries with lower GDP and higher unemployment have preserved their family values because it's simply been enforced on them. For instance in North America it is the done thing to move out of home at an early age, whereas in many developed parts of Europe it's not the done thing because the GDP simply won't allow it. Hence people are almost forced to be closer and cope with it.
Lizzie60 Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Could be a trend... Ooohhhh chéri.. I have a visit to zee thérapeute.. I think way too much importance is put on therapy.. anyone can be a therapist..
Ruby Slippers Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 ...in the US there seems to be this constant social charade. No one wants to open up to anyone else and admit they have problems, because they're afraid others will judge them and shun them for not being cool, which is mostly true. This! Everyone's working so damn hard to keep up the illusion of perfection. I have recently begun to be very open with my friends about what I really think about my own problems and the problems in the US and the world. At first, some of them seem a little uncomfortable, but it's not long before they're venting their own problems like crazy. In the end, they always say, "Wow, it's really nice to be able to talk to someone about this stuff." I say speak up! Make some noise! We need to wake ourselves from this fat, drugged, lazy complacency we've allowed ourselves to be lulled and brainwashed into.
pandagirl Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I'm kind of surprised by everyone's answers here. I think therapy is great. Mental health is overlooked, even though it's probably the most important thing we have. I used to have a negative view of therapy, until I finally started going last year and it's helped me grow in leaps and bounds as an individual. My best friend is a clinical psychologist to treats borderline patients. As she says: "If you have a cold, you go to the doctor, why wouldn't you go to a doctor if your mind was sick?" Another one of my good friend's brothers is most likely bipolar, but where they live -- in France -- therapy isn't seen as something "real," it's just "the way you are." I think it's a shame, because with a different attitude he could get the right treatment so he could function better.
Trialbyfire Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I'm kind of surprised by everyone's answers here. I think therapy is great. Mental health is overlooked, even though it's probably the most important thing we have. I used to have a negative view of therapy, until I finally started going last year and it's helped me grow in leaps and bounds as an individual. My best friend is a clinical psychologist to treats borderline patients. As she says: "If you have a cold, you go to the doctor, why wouldn't you go to a doctor if your mind was sick?" Another one of my good friend's brothers is most likely bipolar, but where they live -- in France -- therapy isn't seen as something "real," it's just "the way you are." I think it's a shame, because with a different attitude he could get the right treatment so he could function better.I'm pro-therapy as well, as long as you find a good therapist who's expertise is in the area that you need. It's the same as finding a good medical doctor. Sometimes a GP will do, other times you need a specialist.
EddieN Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Anyone ever see that Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry loses all interest for his therapist when he sees him on the beach wearing a thong? Sorry, this thread just made me think of that.
Els Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I don't know about other countries, but I live in a developed third-world Asian country. Developed as in some of us have internet and stuff, and quite a few skyscrapers, but there are still people living in zinc huts in a good portion of the country and ****ty healthcare, technology and other services. Our public hospitals just received their first stock of Tamiflu today. Big announcement in the national papers and all about it too, like it was something to be proud of. Err what? The reasons we don't go to therapists isn't because we need them less. A major reason is that it's extremely hard to find a qualified one and it's expensive. Most of us working-class people don't have the money to spend on one. Good healthcare here is very difficult to obtain because of the low quality of public hospitals/clinics and the high price of private ones. Due to all this, it's an extreme social taboo for someone to be seen visiting a therapist, psychologist, or 'shrink'. Since so few people see them, common perception is that you have to be EXTREMELY screwed in the head (like stark raving mad) to see one. My uncle once had a few sessions due to a stress freak-out that had him in fits. When he applied for a job later, he had to list that in his health form. He was declined because he had visited a psychologist for a period of time and because of that they deemed that his mental state wasn't ideal for the job. I also do think that some people DO overrate therapists, though. It's exceedingly irritating to see threads where people ask for advice and the ONLY advice they get is 'you need to see a therapist about this', as if therapists are the panacea to all social, emotional and mental problems. I think they would be useful but they certainly don't work miracles. Incidentally, moving out of my parents' house and living alone has done nothing but GOOD for my mental state. Constant tension under a 'perfect family' facade or peace and quiet by myself... hmm tough choice, not! 'Forced closeness' is not necessarily good. I think it was better for my parents as well, we fight far less and there is much less strain and subtle conflict.
hoping2heal Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Sorry to TJ; but Melody nice to see you again. Hope you are surrounded with a lot of support and love.
Sam Spade Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 It's really a quality of life issue - more people can afford it, so the supply keeps up. But now many of them are really qualified? NOT very many. On the flip side, there is nothing that a therapist can do that an intelligent and introspective friend can't do. The problem is, as other posters have mentioned, is that social relationships in the US are indeed way more shallow and artificial than anywhere else in the world, so it is also true that fewer people have access to the just as good outlet and help that a genuine friendship can provide.
Isolde Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 The whole point of therapy is to speak with someone impartial. The most loving, intelligent friend, even if they have hours and hours to talk to you about your problems , isn't going to be able to provide the same kind of clinical advice. In addition, many therapists have been seeing people for years, so they tend to have a fuller perspective of what's healthy and what's not, mentally speaking. Friends will be biased by the fact that they care about you and by their own narrow experiences. This said, a good therapist is exceedingly hard to find. It may be just as hard as finding a good date!
Trialbyfire Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I went to a therapist for a number of sessions after D-day, during my separation. She was highly recommended by people who I respected, was credentialled and experienced up the ying-yang, having practiced in different countries/cultures, with different methodologies. She and I shared a love of healthy living, although she was more of a granola cruncher, than I am. So, no, it's not that difficult to find an excellent therapist. You just have to do your homework.
Sam Spade Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 The whole point of therapy is to speak with someone impartial. The most loving, intelligent friend, even if they have hours and hours to talk to you about your problems , isn't going to be able to provide the same kind of clinical advice. In addition, many therapists have been seeing people for years, so they tend to have a fuller perspective of what's healthy and what's not, mentally speaking. Friends will be biased by the fact that they care about you and by their own narrow experiences. This said, a good therapist is exceedingly hard to find. It may be just as hard as finding a good date! That is generally true, and depends on what branches of therapy we're going to. I was speakin gstrictly about run of the mill counselling psychologists - what they really is to nudge you and help you out clarify your own emotions/feelings etc., and of course they do so with the assistance of different techniques, etc. But, nothing that's beyond the reach of an intelligent and emphatetic person. In that sense, a true friend could help just as well, because they'd tell it like it is and challenge you in much the same way a therapist/counselor would. Of course, for actual mental health problems, such as when we go in the disorders territory, things are more complicated and will require different sets of qualifications...
Devil Inside Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 OK...so I'm biased because I am a therapist...but I think it can be extremely helpful. I think that talking with a friend is great...we all need support. However, if you want someone to get to know you, and give you direct yet empathic feedback as to what they see you need to go to a professional.
westernxer Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 So what's with all the visits? Therapy has replaced the supernatural in western society.
Author Hkizzle Posted August 8, 2009 Author Posted August 8, 2009 I went to a therapist for a number of sessions after D-day, during my separation. She was highly recommended by people who I respected, was credentialled and experienced up the ying-yang, having practiced in different countries/cultures, with different methodologies. She and I shared a love of healthy living, although she was more of a granola cruncher, than I am. So, no, it's not that difficult to find an excellent therapist. You just have to do your homework. D-day? You're that old? You were on the beach at Normandy?
carhill Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 D-day = LS-speak for discovery day, as in when an affair is discovered and/or disclosed... But you knew that Personally, I found two marked qualities in our psychologist to be of great assistance to us in MC. One, he was active, giving feedback and challenging perspectives. Two, he remembered everything, and without taking any dictation or notes. If I considered getting married again, and he was still practicing, I'd have no issues doing PMC with him. He saved me a ton of money and my sanity
Author Hkizzle Posted August 8, 2009 Author Posted August 8, 2009 D-day = LS-speak for discovery day, as in when an affair is discovered and/or disclosed... But you knew that Personally, I found two marked qualities in our psychologist to be of great assistance to us in MC. One, he was active, giving feedback and challenging perspectives. Two, he remembered everything, and without taking any dictation or notes. If I considered getting married again, and he was still practicing, I'd have no issues doing PMC with him. He saved me a ton of money and my sanity Actually I didn't know that. What other important abbreviations you guys have?
carhill Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 IDK (I don't know), tons.... it took me about a month of reading here to get most of them and I have tens of thousands of posts spread around the internet at large, so I understand forum-speak pretty well. Most of the unfamiliar ones for me were in the areas of infidelity.... all the WS, BS, OM, OW, OP, etc....
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