Tx_hrt Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Sorry for the absence. I have been really busy. I have read everyone's post and they have helped until today. She is on her way back and between yesterday and today she has sent over 50 txt messages. She is telling me she can't wait to see me. I was doing so well with all your help. Now that missing her feeling has arrived.
Reggie Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Get her some budget plan for that phone. And warn her about carpal tunnel and blower's cramp.
Author Tx_hrt Posted August 7, 2009 Author Posted August 7, 2009 Come on gang! I am looking for support and how to deal and understand this situation. I am not looking to be made fun of. Many of you have been where I am and made it. Some are still there. Please just support and encouragement.
fooled once Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 The best support *I* can give you is to MOVE ON. She isn't leaving her husband, they just had a fantastic vacation together and worked on some issues and it is time for you to bow out, let her be and find someone else. I don't get why you think she is going to leave her H when she won't even say the word divorce???
Author Tx_hrt Posted August 7, 2009 Author Posted August 7, 2009 She did mention divorce early on in the relationship. It has been the last monththat the guilt and distance has occured.
jwi71 Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Tx_hrt, OK...How do YOU want this to end? DO you want your W or do you want a chance at a future with the OW?
norajane Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 today she has sent over 50 txt messages Did any of them say "I've left my husband"? No? Then you know the score.
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 supporting someone to continue a bad affair is like supporting a drug addict. If people dont tell you your behavior is wrong how will you learn. Dude there are single women you can deal with why are you wasting your time with a woman who's already MARRIED!!! and not to you. You know the old saying that once you become the wife of the MM a position of the mistress opens? The same exist for the men. She's just using you. wake up.
LakesideDream Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Sorry for the absence. I have been really busy. I have read everyone's post and they have helped until today. She is on her way back and between yesterday and today she has sent over 50 txt messages. She is telling me she can't wait to see me. I was doing so well with all your help. Now that missing her feeling has arrived. TH, You must be feeling sky high right now. I know I would if something similar happened to me. Enjoy the feeling, cherish it. Chances are things will calm down and begin that road back to "the way things were" before the current flurry of attention you are feeling. Good luck, but be carefull, please. All those happy chemicals are surging through you right now. If those chemicals drain away it hurts like hell. You are a grown man, able to make your own decisions. Remember you will live with them.
Reggie Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Come on gang! I am looking for support and how to deal and understand this situation. I am not looking to be made fun of. Many of you have been where I am and made it. Some are still there. Please just support and encouragement. Well, heck. What is so complicated that you need advice? Do you want to continue cheating or not? Any advice would be contingent on what you want to do. My view is that it would be wrong to see her and you should abstain.
jennie-jennie Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Come on gang! I am looking for support and how to deal and understand this situation. I am not looking to be made fun of. Many of you have been where I am and made it. Some are still there. Please just support and encouragement. Unfortunately there are a lot of betrayed spouses on this particular site which makes it not so good for OM/OW looking for support. Take care! Only you can decide if the proportion pros/cons makes your relationship worth it.
me003 Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 supporting someone to continue a bad affair is like supporting a drug addict. If people dont tell you your behavior is wrong how will you learn. Dude there are single women you can deal with why are you wasting your time with a woman who's already MARRIED!!! and not to you. You know the old saying that once you become the wife of the MM a position of the mistress opens? The same exist for the men. She's just using you. wake up. Some time people need to hit hard bottom before they learn. Not everyone learns by people being mean ot hitting them with words. If this was the case then abuse women would all leave at the first sign of abuse yet some stay for decades. A single man or woman does not guarantee a sucessful R, but the odds are higher. If you last thought about the old saying is real, does this mean that every marriage is destined for affairs??
me003 Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Here are your options... are you happy with what you are getting now??? if teh answer is yes, then stay and enjoy it. If you are not happy then start NC. LC is not an option because it leaves an open door. If this person REALLY wants to be with you then then will make it happen. MM/MW find time out of their busy schedules to talk on the phone, text, and see OW/OM so it is possible. Right now you are making it easy for OW to have both of you. You are not making it hard to choose. NC will either make her decide to stay married or to divorce. Either way you will get an answer. While NC is happening you can find the reasons why you got involved. This is a great time to focus on yourself and you will find it liberating... good luck and stay strong
spiraling downward Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Right now you are making it easy for OW to have both of you. You are not making it hard to choose. NC will either make her decide to stay married or to divorce. Either way you will get an answer. This needs to be repeated and emphasized. It was by pure accident that I discovered this. When I finally got fed up and decided to leave MW... she made the choice. I really did not expect her to choose me when I left her.
hopesndreams Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 This needs to be repeated and emphasized. It was by pure accident that I discovered this. When I finally got fed up and decided to leave MW... she made the choice. I really did not expect her to choose me when I left her. This needs to be repeated and emphasized. It was by pure accident that I discovered this. When I finally got fed up and decided to leave MW... she made the choice. I really did not expect her to choose me when I left her. With a post like that it gives you hope eh? If it can happen to spiral, it can happen with you. Only thing is, spirals MW has/had an H that, according to MW, was an alcoholic and according to spiral, a coward. Not a big surprise then when MW picked spiral to be her one and only. What is your MW's H like? Is he a loser too? If the answer is YES, you better get yourself busy and make her a little love nest for you and her that she would be proud to call home. Thing is, she hasn't talked about getting a divorce? Oh, well, in that case...she is a cake eater. Have fun with this one, she's special and that makes you, a piece on the side.
FromI Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Does she have kids? (It doesn't sound like it, but just wanted to be sure) If she does, she will not leave her family... (not soon anyway)
2sunny Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 she has shown with her actions that the H is the priority. if she didn't intend to stay in the M she wouldn't have gone on vacation with her HUSBAND! you are second best to her... she's still in the M and just expects that she can woo you enough to keep you in your place... right where she wants you. is that enough for you? if it's not - then get out.
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