HSWanderer Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Dear LoveShack Members, I have a special somebody I have been chasing for several years now. We are of a young teen age, (14-15s) and I am new to the dating game. I need all the help I can get regarding this matter; and as quick as possible. Our past has been a very bumpy past, I have known her my ENTIRE life. (14 years) I thought of her as a potential love target around the age of 8, (6 years ago) and It has been progressing dramatically since. We did have a little pitty date relationship when I was about 10, and then she decided not to any longer. Ever since then, I have constantly been thinking of her as a perfect match for me. I have, countless times, tried and tried again to get her to reconsider me; and give me another chance. But, each and every time it has been a solid "No, I'm sorry." She hasn't had any past relationships with anybody, she just flirts with guys often. I am getting to a point where I know for a fact I love her, she is the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. But what can I do to get her to feel that way about me? I know you can't change how somebody feels.. but I think it is part of my strategic tactics that have screwed me over so far. Since I am new to the dating game, I have screwed up several times in regard with spilling the beans about how I feel, and I get very nervous when im with her sometimes. I need to gain some self confidence. recently, I started to get a bit too confident and she caught me out on it because I was constantly attached to her.. constantly following her.. I took it too far, she caught me out on it and told me that its definitely not good to do that, specially when she does not like me. with all these past occasions taken into account, I need to know whether or not I can recover this relationship, and have something strong with her. Or maybe should I just step back, keep her as a very close; BEST friend, and move on from her. I have lost days and days of sleep. Constant misfocus due to these harsh times.. I need to find a solution to this, asap. I'm sort of a nerd in my personal life, and I have never experience this in my entire life. I love her. But she doesn't love me. Or is this a game? My questions: 1) Can I recover this relationship? 2) What can I do to work on my confidence? 3) Do girls like to be cuddled? Touched (Arm around, etc.) 4) Is there certain rights I have as not being a boyfriend, but a best friend? Can I hug her when I see her? What can I do. 5) Do girls want a guy to take control, or for the girls to have the leverage. Please help me.. I am in dire need
Hkizzle Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 My questions: 1) Can I recover this relationship? 2) What can I do to work on my confidence? 3) Do girls like to be cuddled? Touched (Arm around, etc.) 4) Is there certain rights I have as not being a boyfriend, but a best friend? Can I hug her when I see her? What can I do. 5) Do girls want a guy to take control, or for the girls to have the leverage. Please help me.. I am in dire need 1) What relationship? You like her, she says she doesn't feel the same...... 2) You're young, there are plenty of girls out there, if you're like any normal human being you'll date many people before you find the right one. You're losing confidence because you're infatuated with this girl, it's not really love. You can look up the differences in meaning. 3) Girls like to be touched by the guy they like. If she says she doesn't like you and you follow her around and touch her, that's called stalking and puts her off even more. 4) You need to back off seriously. You've told her you like her, she's telling you in your face to back off and you are not. It's going to freak her out. 5) Girls do want guys to take control, if they like the guy, and it has to be done in a smart non creepy way. If you're literally forcing yourself on her, that's creepy. You've reached that age where the hormones are pumping, and you like someone and want them to feel the same about you. That's normal, you have to learn the rules to flirting, hitting on a girl and getting the girl to like you first. Make a girl feel comfortable around you whilst showing interest is a skill many men have a trouble with. Slow down, you got years to learn this skill and don't take rejection badly.
vertical Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 1. Maybe. But you can't right now. You need to move on and pretend not to like her anymore. Cut her off of this "i love you" boy she knows right now. Be good friends with her still, but dont let her know you like her anymore. After a good amount of time she may warm back up to you. She might miss the you that you are right now. Until then though, you are in the friend category. And it is a very small chance that she will like you in the future, just so you know. But there is a chance. Just dont ever tell her you like her like that again unless she first tells you, or you know damn well that she likes you. 2. I dont care what anyone says, you can always become a better and more "cool" person. Why do you think you are a nerd? Is it because you wear a pocket protector? Well then throw it away. Better yet get a new t-shirt because girls dont like the nerdy pen holding t-shirts. Find out what you think makes you less attractive to women and FIX it. If you are not willing to do this, then you are not going to get anyone that you like. And, by doing this you will get more looks, and you will be able to get more girls which will boost your confidence. 3. Yes, most do. To each her own though. There is a time and place for everything. If you are always hanging on a girl it will be very weird. My best rule of thumb would be to not do a lot of holding and cuddling in public. Let her do it all. A girl will want to lean up against you if she knows you are a strong guy who she can be comfortable with. If you are always cuddling up with her, then you are the acting as the girl should act. See what i mean? 4. Why would you want to hug her? It would only make you like her more. The worst thing you can do is be in love with someone who doesnt love you back. You have to cut your loses and move on, or else you will be a wreck in a few years. A best friend can talk to you about anything, and can be there through the hard times. If you have a guy best friend, would you want to hug him all the time? Uh, no. So unless she hugs you first, or touches you in any way, then just be a "friend". 5. This again depends on the girl. If the girl needs stability in a guy, she would want a man who takes control. This can also look pretty sexy to some girls. But sometimes the girl wants all the control too, and if she thinks you have the control then you will fight constantly. The only thing is, dont ever let her push you around and mold you into something you are not. Do not be the mushy gushy guy that never gets any girls. This is all my OPINION though. I'm sure others can offer better advice. It may not be what you want to hear, but it is what you asked. I wish i could tell you that you could flip a coin and if it lands on heads she will instantly fall in love with you, but i cant. You have to fix yourself before you go any further.
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