gypsy_nicky Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Having recently gone back to dating and putting myself out again, I have noticed that the women I pursue whom I'm highly interested in but who aren't interested back or after a couple of dates the chemistry/compatibility just isn't there, my feelings for the person die out. Do you people experience this with someone your highly attracted to? Because from what I know and from the experience of others, when your highly attracted to someone its very hard to let go of them. thoughts? Btw just sharing, oh and don't bring up infatuation because I got to know very well beforehand, the people I dated.
Fay Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Sadly, I'm not that lucky. My feelings for guys are quite independent of theirs for me. If I had your luck I would've avoided a lot of heartbreak over the years. Especially in my teens.
Trialbyfire Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 My interest doesn't get piqued very often or is sustainable without reciprocation. It literally shuts down. This is probably why I've never experienced unrequited "love" for strangers.
2sure Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 I agree. Part of my attraction for someone is their attraction to me. If they arent attracted to me and actively pursuing me...my interest becomes zip almost immediately. Of course its different after you have had a relationship with a person and they break up with you while you are still in love. It just takes longer.
Crimson Tide Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 If after a few dates and he doesn't seem as interested in the beginning, it would take me a while to get over him.
New Again Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 I agree. Part of my attraction for someone is their attraction to me. If they arent attracted to me and actively pursuing me...my interest becomes zip almost immediately. Of course its different after you have had a relationship with a person and they break up with you while you are still in love. It just takes longer. Ditto. That sums it up exactly for me also.
confusedcookie Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 ummm... my ex? he was head over heels in love with me, smittened to say the least, things were going great, then we met his family, they didn't like me, i had a bad time there. we came back, he had doubts about me bc his family didn't like me, i thought his family didn't like me was all his fault (that's another story), so after we came back, i never appreciated him anymore, all the little things he did for me, i thought he owed me... i never showed him my appreciation for him... and then half a year later, he tells me he probably doesn't love me anymore. so yes, both sides needs to be felt appreciated and loved... does that help?? men especially need to be felt that they did do a good job, they need to be acknowledged. it's not whether they did a good job (made dinner but tasted horrible) it's the fact that they tried and made an effort (to make a meal). learned my lesson... and he was smittened with me at the beginning... but he feel out of love with all the tension, pressures of his family, and of me under appreciating him...
Trialbyfire Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 confusedcookie, both the man and the woman need to feel appreciated and receive acknowledgement for their efforts, from their partners. That's the basis for a healthy, supportive relationship. No one deserves to be taken for granted. On the otherhand, different individuals speak different languages of love. You can shower someone with flowery words of appreciation but they might not appreciate them, since they prefer more physical forms of appreciation. For example, a woman might value effort and not the expense behind it. In order for her to feel appreciated, her man needs to make dinner for her sometimes or give her a massage, from time to time. Instead, he takes her out for dinners and she feels it's a cop-out. Another example might be that a man needs to hear how great he is but the woman only gives him physical affection, through touch and kisses. He doesn't understand that this is her way to show her appreciation for him so he feels under-appreciated.
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