Darren09 Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 I told one of my friends who knows my ex girlfriend that i was thinking about calling her today, and she said seriously dont i have found out a few things about her and dont contact her your doing so well. So instantly said to her please dont tell me what you have found out it will only make things worse for me. Now my head is spinning with all sorts of really bad stuff she might of been doing while she was with me etc..... i know shes with someone else because i found out on facebook. Now i have this urge to contact her and say something. We both have gone 5 days No contact so far and before that it was always me initiating contact. I started to have this frame of mind now where if she had something to say to me she would say it. But i so wanna talk to her even after everything. We were so close i just cant understand why she would want to not have anything to do with me again. I have never been disloyal to her and always spent nearly all my time with her. Surely there is something still there? why do i feel so worthless to the girl i love more than anything.
silic0ntoad Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Dude, don't do it. Whatever you find, however miniscule, will only open the wound a little more. Stick to your guns and make sure they are loaded- don't just say you will go NC, do it and stick to it. The reason is rejection, btw. None of us cope well with rejection, or we wouldn't be posting here!
DustySaltus Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 I told one of my friends who knows my ex girlfriend that i was thinking about calling her today, and she said seriously dont i have found out a few things about her and dont contact her your doing so well. So instantly said to her please dont tell me what you have found out it will only make things worse for me. Now my head is spinning with all sorts of really bad stuff she might of been doing while she was with me etc..... i know shes with someone else because i found out on facebook. Now i have this urge to contact her and say something. We both have gone 5 days No contact so far and before that it was always me initiating contact. I started to have this frame of mind now where if she had something to say to me she would say it. But i so wanna talk to her even after everything. We were so close i just cant understand why she would want to not have anything to do with me again. I have never been disloyal to her and always spent nearly all my time with her. Surely there is something still there? why do i feel so worthless to the girl i love more than anything. I'm hearing that my ex has been having a hard time and has done certain things for me to think that she may want us to get back together down the line. She didn't leave me for someone else but she had trust issues. If I was in your shoes however I woulod do everything to remain in NC. I mean to go out for someone that long and do what she did, it's very weak. What would you be accomplishing by calling her...nothing. Free Will, i'm just getting this. If she wants you back SHE WILL find a way but you have to try and realize that may never happen, as cold as it seems.
broken_promises Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 You are in the first painful days of NC and the urge is so intense to reopen communication. But each time you do, you just reaffirm her rejection of you. It is just having to go through it all over again each time. And knowing anything and imagining what she is doing is just adding even more pain on top of everything else. Trust me... I never EVER thought I could do NC or that it would work, but it really has. The first 3 weeks were brutal, but after that... the pain lessened and things are moving so much faster than they ever have in any other breakup where I kept the wound open for months after the breakup. If you can just hold out, you are going to be so much better for it. You just have to keep reminding your brain that the few minutes of relief you get from talking to her are not worth the huge toll it will take after you hang up the phone. I once heard a great comparison that talking to your ex while trying to get over is like asking an alcoholic to get sober while still having a few sips of alcohol a day. While the relief of that sip might be wonderful, it is just going to keep them struggling while trying to stop drinking.
DustySaltus Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 I once heard a great comparison that talking to your ex while trying to get over is like asking an alcoholic to get sober while still having a few sips of alcohol a day. While the relief of that sip might be wonderful, it is just going to keep them struggling while trying to stop drinking. Couldn't have put it any better.
moo Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 $ I once heard a great comparison that talking to your ex while trying to get over is like asking an alcoholic to get sober while still having a few sips of alcohol a day. While the relief of that sip might be wonderful, it is just going to keep them struggling while trying to stop drinking. Amen. Truth has been spoken.
DSM2709 Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 My problem is that everytime I contact my ex, I rehash the same old sh*t, and it's pissing her off, and I don't know why I keep doing it, I'm just so confused as to why we broke up. I know why now, because she wasn't being faithful and honest to me, and I also know this wasn't my fault. I have not spoken to her since Tuesday, and I wonder how long it will be before I speak to her again. Before that was saturday, I actually went to her house, but I openend my big mouth and rehashed the past again, and it made her uncomfortable, then I did it again on Tuesday over the phone. Needless to say it's going to be a very, very long time before we actually speak to each other again. I am having a hard time letting it go, I can't stop thinking about her.
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