relationship_learner Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Do you guys think it will work if the 2 people will have to be in a LDR for a couple of years without having a good plan for permanent reunion?
Pyro Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Do you guys think it will work if the 2 people will have to be in a LDR for a couple of years without having a good plan for permanent reunion? Thats up for you to decide. Can you handle being away from her for that long? Will the feelings that you two have be able to last for a couple of years? I personally wouldn't do it but thats me.
hoping2heal Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Why is there no permanent plan for a reunion?
Rollercoasterr Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Ummm...why would anyone put themselves through that torture? LDR is hard enough without adding THAT into the equation. So in a word, NO.
Just Call Me Reba Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 No...it's one of the first things you discuss. I realize there is a get to know each other phase...but there has to be a permanent plan.
aerogurl87 Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Ummm...why would anyone put themselves through that torture? LDR is hard enough without adding THAT into the equation. So in a word, NO. Yeah I have to agree with Rollercoasterr, LDRs are hard enough. But without a plan to reunite permanently, well that's just asking for heartbreak and disaster. Even if you don't have a definite date for a permanent reunion, at least have certain guidelines for one. (ex. when one of you is able to find a job near the other one). I mean at least some general idea, because without a permanent reunion in mind a LDR is pointless.
Author relationship_learner Posted August 6, 2009 Author Posted August 6, 2009 Yeah I have to agree with Rollercoasterr, LDRs are hard enough. But without a plan to reunite permanently, well that's just asking for heartbreak and disaster. Even if you don't have a definite date for a permanent reunion, at least have certain guidelines for one. (ex. when one of you is able to find a job near the other one). I mean at least some general idea, because without a permanent reunion in mind a LDR is pointless. Definitely that the two people have the guidelines of a permanent reunion. However, say that they need to wait until both of them are done with school, and it's gonna take couple years of waiting and being in a LDR. What I wanna ask is that how likely the couple is going to make it
aerogurl87 Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 However, say that they need to wait until both of them are done with school, and it's gonna take couple years of waiting and being in a LDR. What I wanna ask is that how likely the couple is going to make it Well I think that all depends on the level of commitment they have to one another. If they love each other and realise that they are the creme de la creme for one another, then their chances are high. But if they are in that love that is really lust, then it probably won't last long.
Island Girl Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Do you guys think it will work if the 2 people will have to be in a LDR for a couple of years without having a good plan for permanent reunion? Mine did and has. Extremely well I might add.
Rollercoasterr Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Mine did and has. Extremely well I might add. But there's a difference in you and what the OP originally stated. You always knew that one day you and your hubby would end up together, in the same place. Things went nuts for the two of you, hence the years and years apart. But you're still waiting to be with him and he's still waiting for you. Waiting for your GOAL. The way the OP worded the first post sounded like they just wanted to be in an LDR for a few years without thinking at all about what they wanted at the end, or that they knew it wouldn't come to that point.
Island Girl Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 But there's a difference in you and what the OP originally stated. You always knew that one day you and your hubby would end up together, in the same place. Things went nuts for the two of you, hence the years and years apart. But you're still waiting to be with him and he's still waiting for you. Waiting for your GOAL. The way the OP worded the first post sounded like they just wanted to be in an LDR for a few years without thinking at all about what they wanted at the end, or that they knew it wouldn't come to that point. True on most accounts. We had a eventual goal in mind - but it was quite nebulous in the beginning. We had a commitment to the LDR. BUT we both had questions as to if it would really work especially since we knew we wouldn't be seeing each other often. I honestly don't know if he had doubts but I did. Sure we set ground rules and tried to address a lot of the issues we knew of. But when going from face to face to LDR (and LDRs in general) it certainly was questionable if we'd make it or for how long. Only when we had been together long enough and fought hard enough to be together did I go there and marry him. And then more unforeseen time with the distance happened. *sigh*
Author relationship_learner Posted August 6, 2009 Author Posted August 6, 2009 But there's a difference in you and what the OP originally stated. You always knew that one day you and your hubby would end up together, in the same place. Things went nuts for the two of you, hence the years and years apart. But you're still waiting to be with him and he's still waiting for you. Waiting for your GOAL. The way the OP worded the first post sounded like they just wanted to be in an LDR for a few years without thinking at all about what they wanted at the end, or that they knew it wouldn't come to that point. Yes, I meant that people who just got into a LDR will have doubts of what their future will be. If the two people in a LDR have already been through a period of time fighting and holding on, then the doubts would gradually disappear, and the permanent reunion would really be planned out in their head no matter how long they have to wait. However, people who definitely can't relocate after a few years just try to hold on to the relationship until they eliminate their doubts and are sure that their partner can faithfully wait for them... Then they can have a planned permanent reunion after a few years of waiting...
Bayern Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Do you guys think it will work if the 2 people will have to be in a LDR for a couple of years without having a good plan for permanent reunion? Of course it can. I would suggest visiting often if it's possible. Something may come up and you two can be reunited. I think there are plenty of LDR with no plan for permanent reunion. To be honest I think having a LDR keeps people focused a LOT more on studies/work, whatever needs to be done to get to their SO.
chezmozart Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 i've experienced LDR before for 1 year, it worked 8 months , it worked 2 it didn't work i mean seeing each other once in 1 year, once in 8 months and once in 2 yrs
Bayern Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 i've experienced LDR before for 1 year, it worked 8 months , it worked 2 it didn't work i mean seeing each other once in 1 year, once in 8 months and once in 2 yrs Must have been some wildy and wacky stuff :laugh:
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