JohhnyA Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Me and my girlfriend have been seeing eachother for over a year now. and a month or maybe 2 ago one of her co workers was falling for her. after that she told me she was afraid she might start liking him aswell. we talked it over and they became just work friends. Now she starts to question her feelings about me, if she is still in love with me and all. (she misses the head over heals part u have at the start of a relationship) or atleast thats what she says. am i doing the right thing by giving her time to think to herself or whatever or is this gona be an inevitable break up. ive heard the stuff she is saying in other relationships before and it never ended well. what am i to do here dump her or let her drag me on a string till she makes up her mind ?
fiser360 Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 I would talk to her and see how she feels about him now, and if she sees anything with them in the future. And the "She says she misses the head over heels part of the relationship", you have to be extremely naive to think that the honeymoon stage lasts forever in a relationship. It doesn't. Just plain and simple. And if that's all she wants, then she will not be in other relationships very long. But, like I said, talk to her. And if you love her, try and keep it going. At the same time you might want to start preparing for the worst. Good luck!
Author JohhnyA Posted August 6, 2009 Author Posted August 6, 2009 We have talked over and over, at first when i heard about the other posible guy i forbid her to text him, it was me or him right now. she chose me and stoped texting. (i told her she could eventualy text again since they are co workers and its better to be friends etc or whatever) behind my back and without asking she started to again in secret. she still only does it on a firendly basis and has told me lots of times thats she wants me. i know the honeymoon stage doesnt last for ever and i tryed explaining. but still she acts distant to me and doesnt want me to cuddle or kiss her since she feels kinda traped (dont know a better way to say that in english srry). she feels like we are becoming best friends or something. (should have sat down longer maybe for the first post)
fiser360 Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Hm. Maybe you should give her some space for now. See how that works out for you. Don't tell a girl who she can and can't text. Or talk to for that matter. It won't work. It's like when you were a child and your parents said "Don't touch that!", what did you do? Exactly. Maybe if you just let her talk to him, she won't have any interest to after some point. Just a thought.
borbiusle Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 We have talked over and over, at first when i heard about the other posible guy i forbid her to text him, it was me or him right now. she chose me and stoped texting. (i told her she could eventualy text again since they are co workers and its better to be friends etc or whatever) behind my back and without asking she started to again in secret. she still only does it on a firendly basis and has told me lots of times thats she wants me. i know the honeymoon stage doesnt last for ever and i tryed explaining. but still she acts distant to me and doesnt want me to cuddle or kiss her since she feels kinda traped (dont know a better way to say that in english srry). she feels like we are becoming best friends or something. (should have sat down longer maybe for the first post) My GF acted the same exact towards the end of our relationship, distant and cold, and gave me the "lets be friends" speech. It's over man, the more you stick around trying to win her back while being her "friend", the easier it is for her to make up her mind about leaving you. Cut off contact instead of stringing along on false hopes.
NightLord1 Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Forbiding her to text him was your first mistake dude. I know it may seem like you can prevent all this from happening but you can't it has already started and its only going to go down hill from there. Whenever you forbid a women or impose your will on them like that its only going to cause them to do it MORE because they will rebel against you no matter what you say or do. Lets face it no one likes to be told what to do and she isn't a child and if you treat her like one she is going to start to resent you. Best thing to do here is to tell her straight up you have a gut feeling that her and him are going in another directions besides "friends" and if i were you i would pull the plug on her. Trust me dude she isn't just texting him for "friendly" purposes she has other intentions. If she told you flat out that she may develop more feelings for him then she already knows and has in her mind that she wants to see what is up with this guy. Don't despair though because office based romantic relationships never really work out and they will probably crash and burn and then she may just find her way back to you again. Your choice...but the more you attempt to stop this the faster she is going to go in that direction towards him. Regards,
boogieboy Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 if she was texting him in secret, then you already lost her. Might as well dump her now and let her go to him. What could happen is she will try him out, and if he doesnt work out she will come looking for you again. But if she has feelings for him while shes with you, then its a kiss of death. What you did wrong was to forbid her from communicating with him, because then it was taboo and made more fun for her. I say dump her now before she does it to you.
Author JohhnyA Posted August 6, 2009 Author Posted August 6, 2009 nah that guy she was texting is absolutely no treath thats wasnt realy the point also. that was over a month ago and such. but it was the start of us fighting and bitching. and now she feels like we are becoming like best friends etc. she doesnt know what her feelings are annymore (i must make no sence at all xD) I persenaly would never take her back then i dono about u guys/girls but i dont wanna break up every time my gf wants to try out a new guy thats just BS
NightLord1 Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Thats still no good. If she thinks you guys are becoming best friends then she is dumping you into the "friend pile" already. I still go by what i said in my last post. If she doesn't feel the same towards you then its more then likely not going to get any better. Regards
Author JohhnyA Posted August 6, 2009 Author Posted August 6, 2009 well thanks for the advise i know i messed up etc but on the other hand i hope she wil come to understand that we are just kinda, well i hope becoming soul mates or something like that. as in the next step in our relation i just hope i can get that trough to her some way :S
boogieboy Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 well thanks for the advise i know i messed up etc but on the other hand i hope she wil come to understand that we are just kinda, well i hope becoming soul mates or something like that. as in the next step in our relation i just hope i can get that trough to her some way :S BECOMING soulmates? Youre about to become alone if she said "she doesnt know what her feelings are anymore". She is not in love with you anymore. HAte to give you bad news like that, but that is the kiss of death, and I hope youre not in denial. Dump her beforee she dumps you. And tell her its because she said that.
smookie Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 HI, I am interested in knowing your guys ages? You did not mess up by the way. You see she already started thinking about this before she told you, she also started to like the other person ... Thats why she had to tell you ... If in her mind it is only a friendship between the two of you then sorry to say it will be friends. Best of luck
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