no contact worked..

[EmptyPromises]

sorry for the length..

 

so its been one rough summer. after dating a guy for about a year, we broke up in the beginning of may. from the second we started going out, we were fighting and breaking up every month(i realized now that instead of fighting stuff out , wed just break up, which was stupid). i have trust issues and found it very hard to trust him. but i lovedd him to death.i was heartbroken nearly the entire summer, absolutley miserable and wanted to work things out with him. i begged, pleaded, cried to him, called him daily, texted him. i was pathetic for about 2 months.he acted like he didnt care .. even though he said he didnt want to move on & loved me and wanted to make things work.

 

i stopped talking to him three weeks ago after i drove 45 minutes to see him and went to a party where he paid no attention to me. i left within half hour , he didnt ask me to stay, he said he didnt care, i told him if i left feeling the way i did that i was completely done with him.the next day he tried talking to me, apologized said he didnt want me to leave. he tried contacting me on facebook a couple of times but i ignored him.

 

two weeks ago he called me one day accusing me of something i didnt do, and he told me he regretted alot of things with me wasnt in love with me anymore blah blah blah. i told him to leave me alone and that was followed by alot of texts saying he loved me etc.

 

last week he called my work several times under a private number, finally he talked to me and just asked me how my life was if i was seeing neone etc. i told him i had to go. the next day he invited me to his house to play on his team for a beer olympics tournament. i told him no thank you.

 

hes been texting me, calling me nonstop for the past 5 days. yesterday i finally gave in and talked to him for a little bit. he keeps asking to come over and talk about things, telling me he wants to take me to dinner in the city, go to the movies, anything to get me to see him . he called me at 3 am the other day just sayin ghe has to see me. i politley say no even though i sooo badly want to.

 

my thing is, i wanted to be with him all summer. and finally when im accpeting that maybe were not meant to be and feeling a little better, he comes running. i feel like he knows summer is coming to an end soon and his friends are going back to school so hell be bored. and since we go to school together he wants that back. but its not fair. as much as i love him he could have had me the whole summer and chose not to.

 

he told me he knows i love that hes chasing me now, and that i love turning him down but that i have to tell him how i feel so he knows what to do.

 

i told him that he couldve had me all summer and chose not to, and i told him that ive spent the last 3 months just miserable and starting to move on, ive never felt so heartbroken in my life, and that i dont just wanna turn around and go into reverse and have to deal with it all over again. his response is please lets hangout " i just wanna chill and talk".

 

i learned alot from the break up, i know what i did wrong and what i could do to fix it, if we were to fix it, i just dont wanna get back into something thats unhealthy, and if hes not going to try.ugh i love this kid i just dont want to settle for less. unless hes going to be absolutley different, i cant go back to him. i feel like im stuck in the middle of moving on for good and letting him go, and going back to the guy im in love with.

 

what do i do? move on? give him another chance? do i go back to NC? talk to him? let him come over? wait it out? ne opinions or advice are welcome..

[Thomas X Forever]

This is so tough and it makes me wish I did all that stuff your ex did. (Not the bad stuff. I mean calling nonstop, texting, not giving up). Maybe things would've turned out different for me............

 

God i hate life.

 

 

Ok back to you...... Only you know what you should do..... There is only one right answer, and it's to follow your heart. Soul search and figure out on a very deep level what you truly want and need. Then go from there.

 

God it makes me want to cry as I think about how hard he tried to get you back, and I just went NC.......... :lmao::lmao:

[EmptyPromises]

but our relationship sucked... it was alot of fighting for stupid reasons and alot of trust issues

 

he tried to hangout again tonight and i told him no its not a good idea. he said "you no how stubborn i am. if your making this decision i wont try and be with you again and this is ur last chance .. if thats what u wanna do im not gonna be pathetic and try and talk to u when u want nothing to do with me"

 

ughhh i love himmm but i feel like he hasnt changed and everything will be the same kajsdflk

[mickleb]

You could try starting again but in a very BOUNDARIED way. Don't jump straight in. Be prepared to start hurting again if it doesn't work out but you could just start, in a very non-committal way, to date again.

 

I am a little worried, though, that this wasn't a build on very secure foundations in the first place. I think he likes what he can't have. Sorry.

 

Tread VERY CAREFULLY. Take care of yourself. x

[NightLord1]

This is so tough and it makes me wish I did all that stuff your ex did. (Not the bad stuff. I mean calling nonstop, texting, not giving up). Maybe things would've turned out different for me............

 

Ya Thomas and look at how she is reacting from his constant attempts at seeing her she is just more confused then ever and it seems to me making her in that much more pain.

 

Look hun what you ultimately do is your own choice. If the only reason you guys broke up was because of stupid petty fights then pick and choose your battles with him. You do not have to fight over everything and just stress yourself out all the more. If it isn't something important just let it go.

 

I wish the girl who i'm having troubles with right now would be like him. Hell if she were calling and texting me non stop wanting to see me and asking to come over at 3am then there would be no doubt in my mind she was serious that she wanted to be back together.

 

He may have just been confused and had enough of the fighting or he may have been attemtping the popular "indifferent" attitude that men like to have thinking it will make a chic more attracted to them.

 

I would see what was up with him. Do something simple like going out for some coffee or just meet up some where and go for a walk and talk.

 

Don't beat yourself up over this it won't kill you to do something like that would it?

 

Regards,

[boogieboy]

I think you need more proof that he is looking for you as last minute company since his friends are going back to school. If that is the case, that is a major f*cked up move for him to do to you. And if it is the case, tell him to hit the bricks.

[EmptyPromises]

Ugh now I feel like such a bad person for turning him down..

 

Anyway something strange n confusing came up last night. When we were dating there was always this russian girl that would write in russian to him on his wall. I never felt threatened by her because she was in another country. Anyway he was tagged in a picture with her last night. I immediatley got very upset and texted him , called him a liar, etc. He told me he just met her and it was a work event. I know he works with russians at his work but he did nottt just meet her! I remember her writing on his wall a few times..and whyy would he hangout with her..

 

I was so confused over the last couple of days but deep down really wanted to be with him, have him fight for me. And then I see that and feel as if he's lying and has hooked up with her before.

 

I already blocked him on facebook saying that's the kind of stuff I don't need to see. He texted me saying it was a work event. I told him nice try I know he's lying and if he tries to call or text me again ill block is number.

 

Really if he wanted to be with me he could explain all this. Hed tell me the truth. His hiding something n this is why it won't work.

[EmptyPromises]

he just texted me back saying he hates people who dont knwo what theyre talking about and is done texting me.

 

i just find it very weird that the two are working together ..shes wrote random stuff on his wall when we were dating and shes from a whole other country.. and somehow they wind up working at the same place?

 

am i just being an annoying crazy paranoid person?

[utterer of lies]

This is so tough and it makes me wish I did all that stuff your ex did. (Not the bad stuff. I mean calling nonstop, texting, not giving up). Maybe things would've turned out different for me............

 

No, it would have only made you seem weaker and more pathetic.

 

God i hate life.

 

Poor you, but if God ever gets around to listen to your prayers, he surely will help you immediately.

[utterer of lies]

unless hes going to be absolutley different, i cant go back to him.

 

 

He won't be. He might make an effort to seem different for a time, but if you get back together again, in the long run he will still be himself.

[EmptyPromises]

so after some investigating i was wrong about the russian girl. she only wrote on his wall a couple of times and it was after we broke up.and she is just a girl he works with.

 

wow now im a psycho that flips out over pictures .. i unfriended him and cursed him out last night.. blah.

 

i already apologized. i feel bad. i just showed him im still a weak person that overreacts cuz i care too much.

[Beeotch]

Why did you break up and what has changed? These are 2 of the questions you must ask yourself before even considering giving your ex a chance.

 

Because if he is just bored and all that...nothing has changed and you will perhaps end up in the same place as you are in now.

 

He sounds very silly and immature though. And silly immature people often do not know what they want.

 

I would suggest until he approaches you sounding like he is serious, has thought things out, can say some things that make sense besides foolish obsessive texts, secret calls and so forth...then I would just keep it moving.

 

He perhaps is not the best thing that ever happened to you...and if that is the case...I am sure you can find someone else.

 

Also consider what was WORTH it in the relationship....as some people's qualities or the dynamics of the relationship are unique and close to what they desire so it is worth it...while some relationships are mediocre and those qualities are a dime a dozen so you can easily replace said individual.

[EmptyPromises]

we broke up because of trust issues. i went through his phone and found some flirty texts to and from a girl and had enough.

 

i dont know what has changed I guess thats something he has to show and prove to me, not just SAY hes changed.

 

yesterday he said he wanted to see me and talk. i told him that maybe we should go back to school, wait a few weeks and if he still wants to talk then to get in touch with me. only because i dont want him to go back to school realize he would rather be single and then i wind up getting hurt. honestly i wanted him to be like NO I WANNA BE WITH YOU but he said he respects that and if thats what i want he can do it.

 

i told him last night that im just scared to get back with him and a big part of me is saying to let it all go. he told me to wait another week see how i feel after that and then make my decision, which i guess i can do, no harm done.

 

hes an amazing guy , i think we both just need to work on things like trust and respecting one another. he says i was very controlling and maybe i was. my biggest fear is him cheating on me. Whenever hed go to parties id automatically think he was up to no good. Or if he was in the same room as someone hes hooked up with my mind would just race.but if i know hes being faithful, i think i can let him do whatever he wants. but he has to prove that to me. its our senior year and i want to be able to do what i want and i want him to do the same. if he wants to be with me and wont be hooking up with ne one else i want him to have fun and not regret his last year.. ya no?

 

right now im just so confused as to what to do . my family and friends dont like him ( they love his personality ) but just because of all the times theyve seen i was upset. but now that i think about it, their obviously going to be on my side, and dont see his side of the story.. so idk.

[EmptyPromises]

i also want to say thank you for everyone thats been helping me through this entire break up.. i had never felt so low and broken and confused in my entire life and all your advice and responses really helped me out. i really appreciate all the advice everyone has been giving me