Taucher Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 ...she felt the need to text me and tell me that she is going on holiday today for a week. I dont know where too, or who with, because I, of course, did not ask. She did say she wasnt looking forward to flying, so I know it is abroad. Things is...I dont know how I feel anymore. I dont know how I feel about anything. I am wondering where she has gone, but I am sooo desperate not to know, and I am greatful that I dont know. For various reasons, I think she has gone on holiday with her parents. I feel sort of...numb towards her, while still being in love and wanting her back. As far as OTHER people are concerned, I have gone a bit mad. Usually, I would describe myself as shy and quite laid back. Recently, I am quite...tense, on edge and slightly manic and I dont feel shy anymore. How can I have changed so much? People keep commenting on it. Most people think it is a good thing, but some people seem to think I have changed for the worse. Gah! T
Nedved Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 How much contact are you having with your ex and did you reply back to her? Trust me your better off not knowing who she has gone with and where she has gone. If you think she's gone with her parents then hold that thought but don't try and find out anymore. I know its not easy. there's all sorts of horrible thoughts running through your head. I hate it myself. For some reason a kind of panic sets in when i think of my ex going on holidays. maybe its because i'm not there or with her and because there's chance she'l have a holiday romance. its awful but try and make yourself believe she's gone with her parents to some quiet family resort that'd be so boring your glad your not there Your changes in you as a person are quite normal. i think we're all going through that in one form or another. sometimes it can be a front for the hurt we have inside and it can have a negative impact. But take positives from it. if your a lot less shy then that a good thing and your learning to live on your own. thats a difficult thing to overcome and you done that without your ex. if you could just chill a little now and become less tense you'l see things a lot clearer. breathe and allow yourself to relax. Your still hurt but just take it step by step. if you were laid back before then you'l get there again. you have'nt changed for the worst. your just really hurt and people hve to understand that.
Author Taucher Posted August 6, 2009 Author Posted August 6, 2009 I am having limited contact with my ex, we still have (never ending) flat issues to sort out, and bills etc. I did reply but only mentioned the practical stuff...I totally ignored the info about the holiday and have never told her anything personal that I am doing in my life, despite the fact she asks from time to time. When the business stuff is sorted, I am going full NC AND I CANT WAIT. I DO think she has gone with her parents, I know they were due to go away at the same time (me and my ex were to stay at their big posh house this weekend as a break from our pokey little flat we shared). However, part of me does not care what she gets up to on holiday as long as I dont get to know anything. Thanks for your comments re: me going mental! I think you are right, but maybe I have changed a bit for the better. I even asked a girl out on Monday, but because I seemed like I wasnt that fussed whether she said yes or not, she seemed very interested and said yes. Thing is Im not really ready for a big relationship but something came over me and I just asked her. Maybe I am turning into an a-hole!
Recommended Posts