bluesky123 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Hello All, I've been absent from the site for a while. It's been a little for than two months of strict NC. I have been going to the gym with good results, building my career and hanging out with friends. I feel like breaking NC, the last email she sent gave me little closesure ( she needed to find herself). Sometimes I feel maybe she is scared to contact me, she has yet to delelte all my friends off her facebook (she can see pictures of me through their profile). Could this be false hope and its safe to say she has moved on. Over the last couple of months I have reflected upon our relationship. When she met me I was fit , had drive always looked my best but after a year I got comfortable and became lazy with my job , gym , personal presentation. Maybe I scared her off, she is not your typical girl she so loving and very laid back. Only now I relized the true meaning of love, she was so good to me and maybe if I acted diffrently she would of stayed. Two days ago I cried like never before, I truly missed her for the person she was not the relationship, just her. I would like to call her but dont want to get hurt, but I have this gut feeling that something isn't right. She is most amazing person I've every met.
Ronni_W Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 I think it is "normal" yes -- now that you're back to your 'old self' (but new-and-improved at the same time), your mind is starting to dream-up different scenarios, happier endings, and/or romantic second chances. My guess is that it's probably a wiser idea to just look at all of it as your 'mental entertainment' rather than some sign that you ought to contact her. I think, yes, it is False Hope that is telling you that "she's scared to contact" you -- she would have done that, if she really wanted to. Keep doing what you're doing -- sounds like you're well on your way to putting it behind you
NightLord1 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 I would keep going as you are. Who broke up with whom? If you broke up with her and you want to see whats up send her something if you really feel like it is what you want to do. If she broke up with you then ride out the NC and who knows maybe she will eventually get back to you. If your gut feels that something isn't right then it probably is right. Always go with the gut I always say.
Author bluesky123 Posted August 5, 2009 Author Posted August 5, 2009 She broke up with me, went to another city to work for the summer. The first month things were great made lots of plans. She planned to see me on a long weekend. The night before we talked she said I love you see you tmr, the next morning at 0930 she called and said she's not coming anymore and doesnt love me. Haven't heard her voice since and that was two months ago. We were together for 2 1/2 years and lived to together for some of that !
NightLord1 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 If she did that after two and half years then i would definitely say to not contact her at all and keep working on yourself. I find it unbelievable that so many long term relationships end up in such a crappy way but its so common now a days. Keep going as you are and use the pain and miss your feeling to fuel those work outs. Thats what I do...whenever I feel that stinging once again I go right out to my garage and beat up on the punching bag, ride my exercise bike, or lift the weights even if i worked out for an hour that day already. If she hasn't contacted you then she isn't thinking about you enough to want to. If she wanted to get a hold of you and missed you for sure she would and nothing would hold her back from doing so.
Author bluesky123 Posted August 5, 2009 Author Posted August 5, 2009 I keep telling myself that, if she really loved me she'd contact me.
NightLord1 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Then keep telling yourself that until it is seared into your brain and stays there. Regards
boogieboy Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 You should wait at least 6 months, and then wait until youre completely over her so you can be objective about contacting her. You still want her back which is not the way to be when you are breaking NNC.
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