Boyfriend wants me to "enjoy" the gym, need advice

[VENDENA]

[font=century gothic][/font][color=indigo][/color]My boyfriend and I recently joined a gym together. We both need the exercise. He goes at least 5 days a week and I go 3 days. Here's the problem, my boyfriend is mad at me because I don't "enjoy" going to the gym. He doesn't understand why I don't feel as if I've accomplished something when I'm through with my workout. Well, he's right about the fact that I don't "enjoy" it, who does? I could understand him being mad at me if I wasn't going at all but I do go at least 3 days a week. All this arguing about the gym is making me hate it. Does anyone have any advice on what to say to him to get him off my back?

Thanks

[moimeme]

You can tell him that you can't develop feelings he wants you to have on demand. How controlling is that? Is there a similar situation in your life where you enjoy something he does not? Perhaps if you can point out how unreasonable it is to insist someone feel exactly as you do, he'll wise up.

[Arabess]

What should you tell him??? I'd tell him to kiss my BUTT....and if he likes it so much at the gym.....he could pack up his sweaty boxers and move on in there!!!!

 

He has no right to try to control what you like and don't like. GEEZ! Luckily I have a very physical job...or I'd look like a COW....cause I would NEVER want to go to a gym.

[ArdeaCandidissima]

Well, I love doing my workouts, and have tried to get my husband to join me. He hates it.

 

Working out is one of the highest points of my week. I really look forward to it. Maybe you need to find a new gym because it can be really fun and feel good.

 

Also, your bf's attitude is annoying. Tell him to enjoy doing something YOU like.

[HokeyReligions]

Does he like ballroom dancing? If he says no - tell him its exercise and take him anyway!

 

How about a sewing circle? You can tell him how relaxing it is and how you love seeing the results of your labor on a quilt or something.

 

 

Yes, I am being sarcastic. If you don't enjoy it the same way he does that is perfectly okay. Just remind him that two people can love each other, have a lot in common, but not enjoy the exact same things and to get angry over that is silly and childish.

[Lurker]

Hell, I like the gym and ballroom dancing! Life's too short to bicker.

 

Why not open up to more things, you might enjoy it

 

Why are women so defensive about suggestions? Doesn't always mean it's a control factor. Easy up some

[moimeme]

Why are women so defensive about suggestions?

 

Huh?

 

my boyfriend is mad at me because I don't "enjoy" going to the gym.

 

Um. This does not constitute a suggestion, this is unreasonable. The guy gets mad at her. They fight.

[dreamyjeanie]

I'm confused by your comments that you dont' enjoy it, but yet you do it. If you don't like it then don't go. It's obvious he likes it by your "Sense of Accomplishment" comment

 

I was in a similar situation a year ago. My ex and I joined a gym. I hated it at first but started to enjoy the way I felt after a couple of weeks. I really liked the gym and my lazy ex couch potato of a boyfriend hated it. I can picture him now, in his stained boxers grabbing doritos by the handful while watching his beloved Colorado Avalanche Hockey Team. Yuck. Gross.

 

He made up every excuse in the book not to go with me. I lost 37pounds in 6 months, and dropped 6 dress sizes. Started to feel better and look better. I met someone else that felt the same way. Not only did I lose the 32 pounds but also the 220 pound lump on the couch.

 

All I'm saying is you should really try to enjoy an activity that he enjoys, becuase you never know if someone else might enjoy that activity as much as he does. I'm living proof that the grass is greener on the other side.

[soserious1]

I have the same problem.My b/friend would live at the gym if he could he loves it so much.He asks me each day"going to the gym?" even when I've said already that I'm going,which pisses me off because his question implies that

 

1. I'm a slacker

 

2.he's so unhappy with my body that he's pushing me and nagging me about the gym

 

 

sometimes he asks more than once.He'll tell me "go have fun" and when I get home insists on asking if I had "fun"Now,I'm at the gym 5 days a week,he goes everyday.I don't see this as "fun" but rather as something that must be done to try to keep good health and keep my body from going to total crap.I have no problem with the fact that he loves going,why can't he just appreciate that I exercise intensely and follow a clean diet because it's good for me.

[Benedict]

My wife taught me all about the gym - and running. It was very effective for me; I dropped a bunch of weight, got in shape... all that.

 

We have an aspect in our marriage about how we inspire each other. This does - by our agreement, mind - involve a bit of kicking in the butt by both of us at different times. We agreed to keep each other motivated. Being in far better shape has had a pretty great effect on my life; I sleep better, have less stress, even look a little better .

 

That being said, I don't always enjoy going to the gym. I still go those days, but sometimes I need to be nudged, which I don't mind too much. Point is, some like it better than others... and they need to be a little more understanding.

[soserious1]

Originally posted by Benedict

My wife taught me all about the gym - and running. It was very effective for me; I dropped a bunch of weight, got in shape... all that.

 

We have an aspect in our marriage about how we inspire each other. This does - by our agreement, mind - involve a bit of kicking in the butt by both of us at different times. We agreed to keep each other motivated. Being in far better shape has had a pretty great effect on my life; I sleep better, have less stress, even look a little better .

 

That being said, I don't always enjoy going to the gym. I still go those days, but sometimes I need to be nudged, which I don't mind too much. Point is, some like it better than others... and they need to be a little more understanding.

 

I am a results/goal oriented person.I don't need to be "nudged" and considering the hours I put in at my job think I do a great job of getting myself to the gym without being asked about it 4 times after I've already stated I'm going and have donned gym clothing.

[longlegzs80]

Your boyfriend has to understand that not everyone is into going to the gym. I know with myself, I truely hate it. But, I make myself go.

 

AS far as your boyfriend, he has to realize that you are going 3 times a week which is a big improvement of before which was not going at all, and that you don't see the results that you want therfore you are not enjoying the gym. That is great that you boyfriend goes 5 times a week, but you are doing the best that you can by going 3 and that is just as good as 5 times a week. You are making the effort, you have probubly set your goal, just go about your business with going to the gym, and if he don't like it, tell him to go kiss you ass.

 

You do what you feel would be best for you. Don't let any guy tell you any differently or make you feel bad because you don't enjoy something as much as they do. If this keeps going on, let him know that you only are going 3 days a week, and if he can't handle that, tell him to go find someone else, and that you will find someone else who will not be pressuring you to keep going to the gym.

 

Its like, who the hell enjoys the gym? Most people don't.

[soserious1]

Btw I just wanted to add here that if the original poster isn't seeing the sort of results from her workouts that she might wish,invest a few dollars in a couple sessions with a personal trainer or have a heart to heart chat with the manager of her gym.Hitting a plateau means it's time to go over our training program and our diet to make some changes so that we can see gains and progress being made:)

[bellatina]

Vendena.... are you satisfied with any of this comments?