GrayClouds Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 also people (many of LS included) move into relationship to quickly. instead of getting to know someone over time, they feel the rush of new love and jump right in. then surprise the person is not who they thought they were. so we are part of the problem
hoping2heal Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 We live and some of us have grown up, in a generation of convinience. Our remotes, have remotes. Why cook when you microwave? Why microwave when you can drive thru? It is our way of lifestyle and it's a mentality I have observed many have adopted for their relationships as well. When the relationship is fun and lighthearted, everyone is ready for that. When you need to work at it? Well, that isn't easy so many people would just as soon pitch it. On top of that, people are under the impression that hiding their true thoughts and feelings from their partners; as to not show insecurities, or any trace of neediness, or "that I love you more". Is what will keep their partner interested, in reality for a relationship to hit deep waters, you need to be willing to expose and show ALL those things with your partner. You need to become completely vulnerable. It isn't easy, so most people would just as soon jump ship and attatch to the next happy and fun meet-cute that comes along at some point. We would rather hide ourselves, than be ourselves. We have forgotten that comittment actually means something, and it isn't just a word. Yeah, that's the other thing. We have grown acusstomed to using words, and not ever having to mean them. And of course, even WORSE we've grown acustomed to believing words; without ever having to be shown them. That would save a great many a lot of heartache and dissapointment you know, if early on they expected to be shown the words their partner kept telling them.
borbiusle Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Is what will keep their partner interested, in reality for a relationship to hit deep waters, you need to be willing to expose and show ALL those things with your partner. You need to become completely vulnerable. It isn't easy, so most people would just as soon jump ship and attatch to the next happy and fun meet-cute that comes along at some point. We would rather hide ourselves, than be ourselves. With every break-up I go through, I just find myself naturally gravitating towards never truly opening myself up to any girl, it seems almost sadistic to me to let your significant others trample on your emotions over and over and over in the search for that perfect somebody, and call it "normal" and "growing up".
hoping2heal Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 With every break-up I go through, I just find myself naturally gravitating towards never truly opening myself up to any girl, it seems almost sadistic to me to let your significant others trample on your emotions over and over and over in the search for that perfect somebody, and call it "normal" and "growing up". That's just the thing borb, not everyone is going to do that to you, you have to use your smarts, but you can usually tell when someone is going to be trustworthy to open up and be vulnerable with. The problem comes when MANY people overlook these things, and go ahead and open up anyway and then they become jaded about things a little bit. It doesn't HAVE to be the way you describe.
jb1173 Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 That's just the thing borb, not everyone is going to do that to you, you have to use your smarts, but you can usually tell when someone is going to be trustworthy to open up and be vulnerable with. There are some folks who are very emotionally deceptive in their words and behaviors. These people are very crafty -- they will figure out your emotional weaknesses, play them to their advantage and earn your trust under false pretenses. They play the game well, and will leave even the most intuitive person with their head spinning in bewilderment about what the heck just happened.
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