Broke up 2 months ago

[boopsier]

I need some neutral advice. My ex and I broke up on June 2nd with the belief that we fought too much and ld stood in the way. We knew each other for 5 years, I am i my

30s, he is in his late 20s.

The breakup was pretty brutal in which I told him off but he begged to be friends. I said that I needed time. Since then, it has been a stupid childish game

of back and forth blog messages, emails etc. This is the timeline

 

- Wrote a blog message on June 3rd saying that I needed time to breathe and I truly did care and love him very much

- Pasted a message on June 11th saying that I realized I freaked out and that I screwed up

- No contact until July 9th in which I sent him an email saying that we should talk. He mentioned to contact him through youtube, I said no.

- July 13th, he pastes a message on his blog that he wishes things didn't happen the way they did 20-30 times a day... and that he doesn't like that he hurt others

- July 24th, he rants again about being a coward and that he still loves me, actually his words were : a beloved friend called me a coward and I was offended, now I'm not...I still love you, i just don't understand you right now.

- July 25th, I posted a message on mine about live and love and how you should never let anyone go, that you should love and forgive them. I did not

post it for him, in fact, I pretty much needed to let go of pressure that was affecting my life.

 

After thinking about it and letting it be, I finally posted one message to him directly saying... this is silly, we are adults,

we should talk like adults and that we should talk in real time. These are childish games, I know that I have played them but it's time to cut the cord if he is going to run.

 

Any advice on what can be done? I understand that NC is probably best.

[lizzy_09]

What exactly brought about having you broke off with him? He does love you. As you do as well. Do you think you've both put all your efforts in making your relationship work?

[boopsier]

He broke up with me, after a month of fighting after meeting and having a great 7 days together. I had a number of issues that I had to deal with when I got back. Reality set in. He begged me to be friends with him and I said no. The breakup was emotionally brutal.

 

I love him to pieces, I know that he does love me. I sent a note to him (phone call would work yes, but really, I'd get no response) saying that he and I should talk and not make this so complicated. That was on Thursday and I haven't heard a response. I want to tell him that I don't buy the reason why he broke up, both of us love and care for each other deeply and either we work on this and become stronger or cut our losses and wish each other the best. I can't be just friends with him, and I know this, he and I have been through too much to go back. SO I am waiting, in limbo, even though I know I have to keep on with life.

 

Do I think we both have done what could be done? No. That's what bothers me most of all.

[leap83]

How about you take a couple of weeks apart and digest all of this? I understand that you two love each other but I don't think you really understand each other. So why not take a couple of weeks off, think about the whole situation, and then sit down and talk? I think this whole back and forth messaging is kind of childish. You should sit down and communicate to each other as to what one thinks/wants from the other. Meet in the middle. Listen to him. So, I would suggest taking a couple of weeks apart, without messaging or anything, and then giving each other a call, sitting down and talking it out. I think your mind will be clearer. Like this, you're just boiling the water, instead of cooling it off.

 

Find a hobby. Do something to distract you. And most importantly, write down your thoughts at the end of each day. That way within 30 days, you'll know exactly what you want/need/think and the whole thing will be much clearer. Hope that helped!