what do i do

[mekbeek]

I've been with my boyfriend for over 6 years now. We've had out ups and downs, but nothing was ever really big it was more so nit picking. We've always made up no matter what and have always forgave each other. Last month the unthinkable happen, or at least to my mind. We had a week left to move out because or lease was up. With packing on my mind, and overexausting myself with making sure everything was packed and unbreakable I fell alseep late, and woke up late the next morning. As I woke, I hear and awkard unfamilar sound, atleast too early for my ears. I noticed he wasn't lying next to me so i figured he was packing, and shut my eyes. I still could hear the noise, I peeked my open hoping to surprise him by scaring him, not catching him doing anything but to make him jump, we love scaring the other for fun [ i hope that made sense]. So when I opened one of my eyes I noticed he was on the computer then though I'd leave him alone more, he was car shopping so I figured I'd leave him alone to do his surfing since he was all excited about getting a new car of his choice. I honestly though he was scratching his leg. So I close my eye careful not to attact attention and try to fall back to sleep. However, that unfamilar noise was still their, ****! i though to myself. I peeked very carefully to view what was going on, and damn I wish I hadn't. I found my boyfriend jacking off to a computer screen. To this day I don't remember seeing the pics because the monitor was to far, but I still remember the blue thick column of the web page from the distance. I was furious but waited to make sure not to assume anything. he was clicking, wacking off, clicking, wacking off. I guess finding something to better satisfy himself. So I decided enough was enough! I jump from the bed after holding back my tears and yelled WTF?! even though i was furious when I think about it his face was priceless he looked like a child caught doing something forbidden. His face is so hard to describe but I'll try; His face was sweaty, looked like it turned flat[didn't resemble himself at all] , his eyes were watery like he was gonna cry, he was out of breathe, and stood there with his dick in his hand, he was squeezing it pretty hard, it seemed like it was going to fall off. haha So I immediately threw the promise ring he had gave me and ran into the bathroom, so he wouldn't see me cry. I didn't know what to do. I felt like i was so embarrassing to look at I couldn't look myself in the mirror or anything. Everything seemed so right and now it was all wrong.

I understand if I never gave him sex or ever spiced it up but I mean hello! we did! Corsets, handcuffs, new positions, different ways of jacking him off, whatever he wanted I was willing to try it pretty much,. and yet it was not enough. After talking he blamed that he was horny and knew I didn't want to wake up with him trying to turn me on to have sex, or whatever.

Now, finally after this happened I gave him a second chance let it be. I even supposedly got him to tell me what he was looking at, and still I don't understand. why cop out? It bothers me from night to night, I cannot sleep much some nights because its on my mind. I love our relationship but why?

and now last week I found out he had an online video chatting account that had existed in 07, I understand somewhat why he mad it, we were having trouble then, but he signed on it the day before I found it, and its like what am I doing wrong?

Do I give him a second chance? what do i do? I don't want to hurt myself mentally.

he apologized and closed the account, but before I told him i knew of it, I noticed the girls, all had the same hair styles like me but were really ugly! I mean he could have atleast looked at hotter females who were pretty but why ugly girls?

Anyway! I know this is long but its the only place I have to get this out of my system. I really don't want to tell my friends because I don't want them to hate him, or think badly of me.

Has this ever happen to anyone else?

I just don't know what to think or do anymore, Its like I love him, but is love enough? should I give up?

I just want an outsiders opinion. please be kind, I know its normal for a male to masturbate its not the whole drama of the situation its the lies and secrecy

[Lucky_One]

Let's face it - most people like to masturbate alone. When masturbation takes place with a partner watching, it is usually a part of couple's sexual play.

 

So you would be ok with him masturbating to "ugly women" with you watching, since it is just the fact that he is doing it secretly?

 

No one wants to think that their BF/GF is watching them to see what sort of facial expressions they make, or noises they utter, because then that information can be thrown in his/her face (just like you have done here, by being derisive about his face and demeanor).

 

He's masturbating. Big deal. Give the guy a break.

[MissViolet]

I think you over reacted. I think most men masturbate, regardless of how much sex they're getting. I don't think it has anything to do with you or how much or little you please him. But I think there is a problem if he's looking online to find some sort of sex chat buddy.