nanana Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 My ex and I split about 5 months ago, but have been in contact again for the about 3 months now. He actually dumped me over text in a super cowardly way (he was with me 30 minutes earlier). I was devastated, begged for two weeks, and then we didn't speak for about 6 weeks or so. When we did eventually speak it had been about 2 months since the split. He was in hospital and I didn't hesitate for a second to go see him, despite the way he'd spoken to me and hung up on me weeks before. I spent night after night with him in that hospital holding his hand cos none of his crappy drinking buddies could be bothered. Now fast-forward, we started dating but it wasn't going anywhere after 2 1/2 months. Eventually I said I couldn't keep dating him forever without commitment. He tried to convince me to be friends, I said I needed to cut contact for a while first to move on. I cut contact for a day before he came back and said he definitely wanted to give the relationship a go. That was only a few days ago. Since then I ended up in hospital with a lot of internal bleeding and stuff. I collapsed at work and was taken in. I had an operation monday night. I was the one doing all the texting him. Telling him how I'm really looking forward to seeing him when I'm out, how scared I am. He didn't call once while I was there, he'd never text me first to check on me, he once made a promise yesterday morning to call and then I never heard from him AT ALL. I later found out it was cos he'd gone to the cinema... I feel so hurt because I've been nothing but good to him and the boy can't even care a little bit whereas he'd been outright nasty to me months before and I was still at his bedside. Should I end this now before I get involved and hurt all over again? This isn't right, is it? Or am I just over-reacting? Even now I've just been released from hospital he has no plans to come and see me...I'm confused, he should have just let me cut contact.
BackonTrack2 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 he doesn't care about you like how you care about him. the best thing you can do is go NC, stop calling him it may sound hard at first, but we have all been there, read my post(s) if you like, i was way more messed up than you... i will say it again. he doesn't care about you like how you care about him he doesn't love you like how you live him he WILL NOT come around. your relationship is OVER. End contact now
MSUE Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 him not being there for you righ now its very low and shoes his true colors...specially when you were there 110% when he was the one ill...if a movie is more important than being by you at a time of need...its time to let go for good...hope you heal soon both physically and emotionally
TaraMaiden Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 M Should I end this now before I get involved and hurt all over again? This isn't right, is it? This is the one bit that gets me. Like you even have to really ask.....? Wherever he heads - go in the opposite direction. Fast. permanent. The end.
trueblue72ny Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 it sounds like you've already been hurt by this. i would be disappointed too if i went to go see someone in the hospital who i was with but they didnt come to see me. i will never forget when i had my tonsils out (at 35) my gf at the time didnt come to see me once when i was home for a week. i was hurt by that too. its nice to have someone that wants to be there for you i have learned!
Peanut9330 Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 I been in the same situation before we broke up and got back together about a month after breaking up, and he was the same way to me. He didn’t care that he was being a heartless jerk and treating me badly just a few weeks back when we were broken up, he apologized but it wasn’t sincere, and we kept this up for about 3 weeks and I decided that I’m going to end it and walk away, and I did..... That's the best thing I could have done for myself and I couldn’t be happier, I know that if I would have stayed I would be miserable, because he's the one that hurt me and I had to do all the work to rekindle the spark, so instead of putting all my energy into him I decided to focus on myself, no point in hurting over a guy like that. My advice is just to walk away because it seems like he's not going to change I mean you were in the hospital and he didn’t even bother to check and see how you were doing?? I don’t get that, he doesn’t deserve you!
Leveller Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 I have to agree with the above. It is a shabby way to treat anyone.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 Leave him and don't ever, ever beg him ever again.
Author nanana Posted August 9, 2009 Author Posted August 9, 2009 thanks guys. on the day i left hospital he called to say he still doesn't feel ready for a relationship but that he will be in a month! lucky me. i told him i am cutting contact from him and have ignored all calls and texts since.. it's hard though, i'm bedbound so i have a lot more time to think and feel lonely than usual all i can say is, once someone dumps you, don't go back. they don't value you and you can't make them. you're just dragging out the hurt for extra months when you could be moving on!
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