jen1234 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 I've been going out with my boyfriend for a year and he is lovely when i'm with him, he cooks and is kind to me but i'm not sure if he is a selfish man and if I should get out of the relationship. He has been on four holidays without me since we've been together. He went on a 10 day diving holiday after a couple of weeks of dating which was booked before i met him. Then when he got back he booked another 10 day diving holiday for a couple of months later.Both of these hols he went alone. About 6 months later he went on askiing holiday with his family which was booked before i met him and when he got back booked another holiday with his friends to go skiing. I have been on holiday with him and his family for one week which was after all these other holidays and alone with him for 3 nights/3days in prague which was inbetween the skiing and diving holidays and which he only took one day off work for as it was at the weekend. Now he says he can't afford to take the time off work to go on holiday properly with me alone because of the current financial situation which I understand. But I can't help feeling that he has been selfish and that he shouldn't be wanting to go on all these holidays without me and that he should be wanting to spend the time with me. He earns a lot more than me and I couldn't afford to go on all these holidays but i'm a teacher so I have a lot of time off and he has never once taken time off just to spend with me. He does do lots of nice things for me like cook and think about what we can do when we see each other and he did a barbeque at his place for my birthday for friends and family. Is he selfish or am I being selfish? Is this normal behaviour for a man who says he loves you and loves being with you?
Author jen1234 Posted August 5, 2009 Author Posted August 5, 2009 Also I recently asked him if we could move the relationship on and move in together. We both have places of our own. Anyway he said he needs more time to think because he's not sure if i trust him/like him. Is he just having his cake and eating it too or could what he is saying be true? I'm so confused!!
Citizen Drawn Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 The holiday thing, 2 of those were booked before you met him, the other he booked in the very early stages of your relationship, and you've been on holiday with his family and to prague, and you've only been going out with him for a year!! What more do you expect? So now, he doesn't want to take time off for a holiday because he's worried about the financial situation, ok, I can see his point a bit, but that is tricky, however it has nothing to do with all the other holidays. As for moving in together, he doesn't feel ready, why that is I don't know, but it sounds like you want different things from him than he can give.
Bayern Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 I think you worry too much about the holidays. Like others have mentioned - he booked some of those before he knew you. Sometimes he needs his time with friends or family outside of the relationship. As do you, I'm sure. Good luck.
loveslife Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 People do holidays differently. My brother and his wife take separate holidays sometimes. They do some together but he likes some things she doesn't so they do some of their things apart. It's no big deal. But maybe it's a big deal for you?
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