BackonTrack2 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Hey, I don't know what to say..... Ex and I broke up about 15 or 16 or 17 months ago.... Anyway for a really long time, I really hated her, not hated her but was more shocked/distraught for what she did (cheated n left) and well after like a very long time, I came to grips with it after the depression and feeling sorry for myself, lasted about 10 or so months.... Anyway, as I woke up today, its like "Wow, you don't hate her, infact you actually laughed at the good times you had together" then I started thinking "I have nothing but love for her" I don't want her back or anything, well I do but because of what happen, I know its just going to happen again and because of my last incident, I'll probably murder her or something so I can't afford to go to jail so getting back with her is really not an option in my thoughts, hell, even having sex is not really in the question as she is kind of disgusting/dirty (in my eyes), like I'm lowering my standards if I be with a person like that..... Is this indifference? Have I finally reached it? I think I've reached it.. If I am right, it means that the next few months will be new experiences and memories that will make that relationship LOOK ****ing ancient and I can finally forget about it~!~!~! Yeah baby`!~!~!~ That damn whore, wow I say that and say to myself "those are harsh words", hahah, Its almost as if I have no more feelings at all.... HAHA man, this getting over people thing sure did take a hell of a long time..... Hell, I don't even think she's a whore anymore but just disgusting..... like ewww... You were with that... Ewww........ She did have tight pussy... I give her that much..... Thinking about her... Kind of turns me off now..... what the hell i loved that girl, i wanted to marry her but now I'm turned off??? INDIFFERENCE BABY~@~!~!~!
NopeNah Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Welcome to the not giving a fu*k anymore stage! It's nice here!
ATR Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 I've recently entered this stage!!! Feels so good doesn't it. And i have a date planned soon! Result!
Author BackonTrack2 Posted August 5, 2009 Author Posted August 5, 2009 yeah its really weird.. I think I don't give a fawk... Man it look long time to get here..... yeah man i do like this place!!!! is this weird? i can't wait until my next serious relationship... like i have it all planned out... bascially i came to the conclusiont hat 90% of females are whores in one fashion or another, by whore i mean sleeping with someone else while your man loves you...... so with that said, like once i find my wife, however immature this may sound, AS SOON as i get a gut feeling, i am going to hire a private EYE to follow her around and start taking pictures.... THEN if the PI finds something, I am just going to act out the wildest sexual fantiest I can think of and convience her to go along and then one day just disappear... LOL oh man I can't wait until I find that next female/whore to do me dirty.... Please god send them my way, I am so prepared!!! never again will i sit home alone, in the closet, crying for months on end, every day, suffering, letting business fail and money run out while I wait for her to come back.... Never again
Bleed Internal Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 yeah its really weird.. I think I don't give a fawk... Man it look long time to get here..... yeah man i do like this place!!!! is this weird? i can't wait until my next serious relationship... like i have it all planned out... bascially i came to the conclusiont hat 90% of females are whores in one fashion or another, by whore i mean sleeping with someone else while your man loves you...... so with that said, like once i find my wife, however immature this may sound, AS SOON as i get a gut feeling, i am going to hire a private EYE to follow her around and start taking pictures.... THEN if the PI finds something, I am just going to act out the wildest sexual fantiest I can think of and convience her to go along and then one day just disappear... LOL oh man I can't wait until I find that next female/whore to do me dirty.... Please god send them my way, I am so prepared!!! never again will i sit home alone, in the closet, crying for months on end, every day, suffering, letting business fail and money run out while I wait for her to come back.... Never again you're clearly not over her. i just had my heartbroken by someone who did me dirty in the same way. she is a whore and i think many women are. but i still never want to live in constant paranoia and bring my issues with her into the next relationship. i mean, they'll be there. that's natural. but to deliberately wait for suspicious behavior and be prepared to hire a PI and all that. that's setting yourself up for failure.
GorillaTheater Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Hate takes alot of work and energy. I think I'm too lazy to spend 15-17 months hating someone after the last contact with them. Glad you've got it behind you.
gd26 Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 is this weird? i can't wait until my next serious relationship... like i have it all planned out... bascially i came to the conclusiont hat 90% of females are whores in one fashion or another, by whore i mean sleeping with someone else while your man loves you...... It's very offensive for you to make these sort of generalizations towards women. Women can make the same generalizations about men - and that doesn't help anyone in any way. There is absolutely no need to spread hate and bitterness around. You are clearly not over her... I agree with the last poster. You might have gotten to the stage where you no longer have any compulsion to call her or be with her. But you are still wounded and bitter in regards to relationships. You cannot have a healthy relationship with the next person with this type of dysfunctional and misogynistic attitude towards women. You still have much inner work and healing to do.
Author BackonTrack2 Posted August 6, 2009 Author Posted August 6, 2009 Question to you Guys.. Why am I not over her yet? Why is she still in my thoughts after so long? Isn't this weird? Is it because I am not experiencing new things in life? The last few months, I've went from spending hours on end thinking about her to less hours, to now only minutes per day.. maybe 10 minutes.. usually about 10 minutes after I wake up, I tell myself "She left you" Then I go on my day and before I go to sleep, I remember that she left me, even showering or when I am washing dishes, I spend time thinking about it, not allot, maybe a few minutes..... I use to think like this for HOURS on end and replay the relationship over and over, this has gotton better with time to the point where I only spend maybe 15-20 minutes per day "remembering" Why hasn't this gone away yet? I mean its getting LESS AND LESS, is there anything I could do to speed this up beside dating or forming new relationship? I never been hurt before or anything like this happen so while it was happening, I was really confused and did not understand what was happening and it took a really long time for it to actually soak into my head, I always thought she was coming back for some reason, I'm not sure why I use to think like that.... I am 25, I stick to mostly books.. That was my first real relationship. I am just trying to learn & understand.
Dmoney28 Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 Hey backontrack...im so with you on this. I still have memories of her that just dont go away. Like you i was in a really bad place for 10 months. What made it worse was that i was laid off, had to move back to my parents and lost some frieds of the past few years...god that 10 months was hell. But now im working again and reconnecting with old friends, life dosent seem so bleek now. Its like i think of her here and there during the day, but im at a point where i am accepting she is not comming back and she has moved on with another relationship. Granted im not 100% over her, but i feel like im 85% over her. She was my first real relationship and my first real love....i guess thats why it has taken this long to heal
Author BackonTrack2 Posted August 7, 2009 Author Posted August 7, 2009 I am glad you responded to my post because each time someone shares their experience, i learn just a little bit more, even if its through the internet. with that said, i was in in a bad place, made lots of bad life decisions but in the end, i'm a stronger person for it, it help allot in my personal growth to make this story more interesting, i checked my ex's FB today, i know i shouldn't, but I was curious and long belong I finally seen a picture of the dude she left me for and oh my god I jumped for JOY, I was so exicted. I had not heard a peep out of her in so long that I actually told myself "You can let go now, she's OK" I wasn't even sad, I was actually happen, weird....... In the end, whatever, time helped me so much & i learned allot & well, who cares my ex was/is a whore so i'm glad i didn't end up with her~!~!~!~ good luck with you, your going to get over it, you just need time
leap83 Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Good for you! I'm happy to hear someone is out of the "miserable" state as I call it. Now I wish my friend would come out of it soon (been 9 months for him and counting). I don't even know what to do to help him out because I've never taken that long to get over someone... :S
aboynamedmike Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 hey man, life is too short to spend that much time "hating" someone. it's been about a month since i broke it off with my ex. I used to think about her still after we broke up, but my mind got tired of it and sometimes, a whole day will pass and right before I go to bed i'll realize, "holy sh*t! I didn't think about her til now!" time heals all wounds.
WiseOne1 Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I know how you feel man, I go through times when I could care less about my ex, that maybe I think about her once or twice a day, and somedays not even 1 time. I always managed to make my ex spin into a furry by saying I would treat the next girl like a queen, and give her everything that I had not done for the ex, or do everything I know my ex would have liked, she use to start cursing and become angry, and say "good luck" atlest 15 times after every sentence. Im happy for you.
Author BackonTrack2 Posted August 7, 2009 Author Posted August 7, 2009 Hey wiseone1, I haven't seen you here in a while. Its good to know your still around, alive and kicking. Thanks for supporting me through this ordeal, I think you've always answered my post(s). With that said, You are the man! I don't know what to write, I am going to get a hair cut right now because I have to go see this new chick I knew since Junior High School. She's going to be women #7 post-breakup. Strange how I went through so many different women these last 16 months. Didn't like none one of them, just used them for sex, and company. The last one, she was decent, but she wanted more than I would give her, so I left her and haven't contacted her since, been about 2 months. I'm on the hunt again, trying to find that special someone. My life is progressing, I did take a bit hit these last few months but it looks like I am moving onward and upward from this point forward. I really have no other words to say in regards to my last relationship. Its funny, I use the term "relationship" as well as the term "female" to describe my ex, odd how she's just become another person in my history. In the end, I have to accept that nothing in life is guaranteed. Whenever I see love sciences on TV, it brings chills to me, I remember our last night as clear as day, but it is fading, I was such a fool. I loved that girl, atleast I thought I did, I don't remember anymore. Its odd. As more time passes, my memories of her are altering, I now see her as a young cunt who uses men to advance herself. This is strange how I can view her without any emotional attachment in a un bias manner. Those love scences on TV are really getting to me though, I get these intense flashback of our last night together, weather I want to admit it or not, I would of done anything for her and she would of done anything for me. In the end, that relationship ending was my fault. I stopped talking to her & stopped paying attention to her. I even stopped having sex with her. I don't know why she even stayed with me, she must of loved me but oh well, in the end, I am guilt free, she is/was a whore. I pitty the whore. hahah anyway I'm out of here, got a date tonight. Later folks, thank you for the replies, encouragement and kind words.
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