sigurpol Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 I have a mutual friend who I never really talked to when all my friends were together. Mostly because she had a boyfriend all this time. Within the last year, I learned she was single, but didn't put forth anything because I simply thought she was "out of my league". However, about two weeks ago I found myself talking to her online a lot and eventually said we should do something sometime. She said she loved to, gave me her number, and said it was really great hearing from me. We texted and talked on the phone several times during the week. I noticed I did a lot of the initiate calls and texts, but she always kept the conversation going. Friday, she asked if I wanted to do anything and I said I was already going out. But if I came back early, I'd like to get coffee or something. She said to let her know... I texted her later in the evening, but she said she was already in bed watching TV. I ended with, "want me to give you a call on my way home?", she responded with, "of course". The phone call was fine, for some reason she thought I was driving drunk? (Later on, someone posted on my online page about a sobriety checkpoint, asking if I was good to drive before I left that night. Which I was... I feel like she read that and that put her off? Or thought that I lied to her?). But we talked a lot, past relationship talk came up and she learned I almost dated a good/old friend of hers (not friends anymore) about a year and a half ago. Maybe this put her off? Finally, I jokingly make a crack at an old (different) friend of hers (they don't talk at all anymore), and how this friend kinda snubbed me at a party for some reason I didn't know about. Again, jokingly I said, "Yea, eventually she kinda body checked me as we passed by, I guess to intimidate me?.. But, lucky for her, I didn't check her back" "You would have hit her?" "Haha, no no, just saying... I just don't put up with behavior like that" Again, something I said that came off wrong? Finally, we agreed to meet sometime this week, and she went to bed. We texted back and forth the next day, I felt like something seemed off. Come Monday (she started her first day of work), and I asked how that went. "Good!" "That's good" *wait* I text back asking how the job seems so far, and got a short response. Not like her. Eventually, I just said "Sorry if I'm bugging you, haha" "No no, I'm just driving right now on the highway" "My bad!" I guess I should have stopped there, but I texted before I went to bed, "Let's do something this week! Seriously!" No answer. Nothing the next day either. Around 1:30 I text, "Hey you! :-)"... nothing. I call her around 8:30... nothing. No calls or texts back. Am I overreacting? Did I miss something? I plan on not just saying anything anymore, I've kinda given up. But I'm upset because this is the first time I've REALLY liked someone in a long time.
MHYH Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 I'm kindof going through the same thing with not knowing whether to contact the girl or not. I feel like in your situation you should just hold off contact until she contacts you. I know its hard, like I said I'm going through that now, but its probably best. Lets be honest with ourselves here. Everyone has their cell phone attached to them all day, so she got your text and your call but for whatever reason decided not to respond. I hate being in this position, because you throw out that "Hey there" text at some random point hoping to get a response, and when hours go by with nothing back it sucks and you don't know what to do. Don't come off as being really needy by contacting her over and over again with no response. Like I said I think the best thing now is to hold off for a little while and see if she contacts you.
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 "Yea, eventually she kinda body checked me as we passed by, I guess to intimidate me?.. But, lucky for her, I didn't check her back" "You would have hit her?" "Haha, no no, just saying... I just don't put up with behavior like that" Uh. This would have red-flagged the hell out of me. I'm going to make a wild assumption that you're a guy because you're interested in a girl. (I say this because there ARE lesbian women on here.) You're a GUY that had some little chick body-check you and you felt tempted to check her back? Are you freaking serious? You don't "put up with behavior like that?" My thought about this is that you sound like you have a temper. I'm not a fan of tempers. Most people aren't. You also come across as controlling. But how do you know it was an intentional body-check and not a trip, or an accident? Did she like cross her arms across her chest and slam into you? LOL The mental image is completely absurd. Most guys wouldn't feel intimidated by a girl trying to be physically aggressive, but would laugh it off unless the girl was really trying to do some physical damage. It's almost like you felt you had something to prove by saying what you said - which is also a huge turn-off. I wouldn't be that impressed at a guy saying he wanted to body-check some girl he didn't like. Anyway. Like I say - if I were in her shoes, this would have concerned me. The other stuff you mentioned, not so much.
Author sigurpol Posted August 5, 2009 Author Posted August 5, 2009 Uh. This would have red-flagged the hell out of me. I'm going to make a wild assumption that you're a guy because you're interested in a girl. (I say this because there ARE lesbian women on here.) You're a GUY that had some little chick body-check you and you felt tempted to check her back? Are you freaking serious? You don't "put up with behavior like that?" My thought about this is that you sound like you have a temper. I'm not a fan of tempers. Most people aren't. You also come across as controlling. But how do you know it was an intentional body-check and not a trip, or an accident? Did she like cross her arms across her chest and slam into you? LOL The mental image is completely absurd. Most guys wouldn't feel intimidated by a girl trying to be physically aggressive, but would laugh it off unless the girl was really trying to do some physical damage. It's almost like you felt you had something to prove by saying what you said - which is also a huge turn-off. I wouldn't be that impressed at a guy saying he wanted to body-check some girl he didn't like. Anyway. Like I say - if I were in her shoes, this would have concerned me. The other stuff you mentioned, not so much. Fair enough. The "body check" was intentional, because there was some whole story behind it that I told because we talked about her old friends being these "crazy girls". I just didn't explain it all because I didn't want my post to be too long. Although, what you said makes sense and I get what you're saying. Very stupid of me.
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