Katherineos123 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 How comfortable are you guys with PDA? Because I myself, am not a huge fan of it... A kiss here, a hand hold there, a arm around the shoulder there... thats fine... and it doesnt bother me when others do so.. But my for my own personal taste, Ive never been a IN YO FACE kinda gal... Ok. So, my roommate/best friend has been dating this guy for about 6 months now... And shes never really been the touchyfeely type with anyone before... But with him... It is 24/7! And to be honest... It grosses me the hell out. It makes me not even want to be around them when they are together... Like, I dont even want to be in my own living room... And, it makes me feel guilty for feeling this way... like Im a bad friend. But I genuinely am happy for her, and I like her boyfriend... I just wish they werent ALWAYS so ICK!!! Ive thought about mentioning this to her.. but then I know she would be humiliated and/or mad at me for doing so... I also dont want to add any strain to their relationship in doing so... I do relaize that there may be a hint of jealousy on my behalf, but Ive never minded spending time with her and any of her other boyfriends... But this relationship is just really over the top. What do you guys think? Am I a terrible person?
EddieN Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 None if it is cute. I would never put up with any of that crap from a girl. A while ago there was this one girl I saw for like a month and when we were in class she would try to hold hands with me and I would turn her down. I can't stand it. You can imagine how annoyed I get when I see guys and girls walking around kissing, holding hands, playing with each other, publicly ****ing...whatever. I think I'd be a lot more turned on if a girl didn't touch me and just talked sexy to me. Then hell, I would be VERY affectionate once our setting became private.
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Wow. Okay. Eddie's answer was a tad extreme, IMO. A guy that's THAT uptight about PDA would not be a fit for me at all. I think you're in a healthy place, Kathrine. I totally agree that a hand-hold, light kiss, arm-around...are okay. It's when the couple starts doing things that seem downright sexual (or given a few more minutes and they'd be HAVING sex) that I start to gag. In public, I'd say don't touch body parts that are generally reserved for your SO or are at least covered for propriety (butt, boobs, genitals). And no tongues. Gross. LOL It is interesting to note - when a couple is super-PDA couple like what you're mentioning - that their relationship behind closed doors is not that great and they're making up for it in public. They want people to BELIEVE that their relationship is just so ****ing incredible because it gives them validation.
XOXO13 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 It is interesting to note - when a couple is super-PDA couple like what you're mentioning - that their relationship behind closed doors is not that great and they're making up for it in public. They want people to BELIEVE that their relationship is just so ****ing incredible because it gives them validation. I totally agree with that statement! I had these two co-workers that were dating each other, and they were practically all over each other... during WORK HOURS! *gag reflex*
2sure Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 My H is really touchy feely with my ass and other stuff. He does it mindlessly and I have had to really put my foot down. His hand has wandered to my breast during dinner parties and I have to grab it...he says: "OMG! I am SO sorry!" And he is a gentleman, he just doesnt....I dunno. With others, I'm ok with it until I see spit or tongue. Then I just come right out, strangers or not and tell them: Thats gross. No smile. Just a look that says if they were attractive at all it wouldnt be so disgusting.
Trialbyfire Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 I think you're in a healthy place, Kathrine. I totally agree that a hand-hold, light kiss, arm-around...are okay. It's when the couple starts doing things that seem downright sexual (or given a few more minutes and they'd be HAVING sex) that I start to gag. In public, I'd say don't touch body parts that are generally reserved for your SO or are at least covered for propriety (butt, boobs, genitals). And no tongues. Gross. LOLI'm with you on this part of your post! There's a limit, which speaks of your respect for each other and respect for people around you.
Sam Spade Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 I'd love to see a couple doing it all the wya in public! They need to be hot though.
HsMomma Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 My husband & I have been together a long time - we're both of the mindset that what goes on in private should stay in private. We do hold hands whenever we're out in public & we do the quick-kiss thing if we're splitting up (i.e. we're at a casino & he's going to one side & I to the other), but that's about it. I'm fine with that kind of stuff - anything else, well, sorry, but I'm not into voyeurism.
Author Katherineos123 Posted August 6, 2009 Author Posted August 6, 2009 But do you think it would be out of line for me to tell her that her "ewwwwness" with him in the living room makes me uncomfortable?
Trialbyfire Posted August 6, 2009 Posted August 6, 2009 The two of you share a home. The only problem is that this is her home too, somewhere she should be able to kick back and relax in. You have a right to your feelings about overly-PDA. But she has the right to be who she is too. It's a difficult situation, one that could go either way, if you mention it. Think about your friendship and weigh it. How important is this PDA thing? I'm guessing not very, compared to your bff.
Author Katherineos123 Posted August 6, 2009 Author Posted August 6, 2009 Yea TBF... Youre right. I dont think Im going to say anything, the level of ICKINESS just isnt worth the possible consequences. But, I must say. That by your reasoning, she should have a place where she can sit back, feel comfortable *with him* and be herself... Well then, shouldnt I as well... Its not like I dont want him there... It just SUUUUCKS to feel like a third wheel all the time... not to mention a third wheel who's forced into some kind of voyeurism! I just feel like sometimes Im a little TOO close to being a part of their intimate moments.... AND I DONT WANT TO SEE THAT! hahaha.
MSUE Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 I love PDA to a certain extent...I love holding hands, kissing and hugging my BF...don't hate me for what I'm going to say and please do not take out of context but America is incredibly uptight with sexuality all together...therefor the eeeeeeewwwwwwwwww factor its that much bigger...you have countries like Germany where after the news its porn lol or the weather girl its naked... in any given case...its her home just as much as it is yours...technically is in the privacy of her home...but if it bothers you that much then you might need to sit down and figure out living room time share/split time...perhaps she can go in her bedroom a lil more.
sally4sara Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 Once your tongue comes out of your mouth and/or your hands wander below either or your waistlines, you've crossed the line between cute and stepped right to EWWWW territory.
You'reasian Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 you have countries like Germany where after the news its porn lol or the weather girl its naked.... Did you ever mistake the weather broadcast for a porn?
MSUE Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 Did you ever mistake the weather broadcast for a porn? lol no...I'm dead serious...I couldn't believe I swear......its true though so true
allina Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 I don't think it's a big deal, doesn't bother me. I don't see why your friend can't make out with her bf in her living room. I think people need to let others enjoy themselves and not be so anal.
confusedcookie Posted September 7, 2009 Posted September 7, 2009 i was never into PDA, hand holding was okay, but never kissing or anything, i never felt comfortable but then again we were alone alot. but then we went over to visit his family for a month, and we were surrounded by ppl 24/7, and now i feel like some form of PDA is needed bc i just felt like we were friends and not sweet and cuddly and just not intimate, and it kinda hurt our relationship. I say light kisses, hugging, cuddling are healthy forms of PDA, but yeah, any tongue or groping is 'EWWWW'
Trimmer Posted September 8, 2009 Posted September 8, 2009 I think there's a difference between "PDA" (which is "public") and doing something in one's own living room, when you've got a housemate. I think a lot of people are answering the "PDA" question, probably imagining themselves out on a sidewalk, truly in public, and I think this has a little different threshold. Now, that's not to say that she doesn't owe you some consideration, or that there shouldn't be ANY threshold of decency, but I think I would be comfortable with a housemate doing things in the living room that I wouldn't expect to see out on the sidewalk... For example, I've had housemates sitting in each other's lap or across each other, with hands touching below the waist, etc... that I wouldn't be at all comfortable seeing or doing in "public." I guess for me, my "in the living room" threshold would be where they start to get worked up, focusing on - for lack of a better word - pleasuring each other, instead of on something else (watching TV, having a beer...) Heck, if they're alone, then have the house all to yourselves, but if I'm around and you start to get hot & heavy, have some respect and take it to the bedroom...
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