clyro Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Hi all A few weeks ago I met a girl through a friend. A few months before she had split up with a long term boyfriend of about 4-5 years and she was still struggling a bit. I didn't know much about but she seemed cool so I invited her out one night and we had a great time. Since then I've seen her 2 or 3 times a week and now I really like her. I'm getting good signals, we flirt, she laughs at my jokes etc and its not alway me who asks to go out sometimes she calls me. Trouble is she's a very nice girl and shes friendly towards everyone she meets so I'm not sure if her behaviour towards me is based on anything more than just friendship. To complicate matters another guy I know has been texting her a lot although they physically meet less frequently. The last time all my friends went out the two of them spent the whole night dancing with each other. The other guy is better looking than me, a better dancer and has a faster but cruder sense of humour. At the end of any evening with her I can never get any kind of read off her. Normally you can tell if a girl has any level of interest or not but with this one it always end with a friendly hug but their is no opportunity to kiss her. Would I be mad to just straight up tell her that I like her and see what happens? I've never tried just saying before, normally you can tell if an attraction is mutual and either go for it or give up. I don't want to scare her off! I'm a bit lost here!! Thanks for any advice
motive2002 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Don't sweat her too much. She's not the only thing out there. If she's dancing the night away with some other guy, plus you aren't getting a good read off her, then I would just go with your instinct. As far as her behavior being friendly? Well if she's spending 2-3 times a week with you, and it's one on one perhaps it's time to make a pass at her. I don't know many girls that would spend that much time with a guy they aren't interested in, unless she's just looking for validation that's she's "good enough". I guess that depends on how her ex was. If he was a creep that put her down she may be looking for a boost up. Maybe you give her more confidence to mack on the other guy she danced with. I dunno, pure speculation.
mac10688 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 I was in the same situation man. There was a girl I knew that was very friendly towards everyone. She would hang out with my friends and laugh at everybody's jokes. The only hints that I got that she might have liked me was the fact that she always called me to hang out and play ping-pong or go to a party. Long story short, a year and a half later I told her I had feelings for her and she said I was cute and she thought about dating me when we first met but we would be better off friends. I blame myself for not being more flirtatious and for not asking her out within the first week I met her. She sounds like the same girl you described too. She never really gave off a flirtatious vibe and she had a lot of guy friends. My suggestion to you is to see if you can't work on flirting with her more and telling her how you feel before it's too late and you get friend zoned to hell. Also telling her you find her attractive now instead of later will reduce the pressure and if she happens to reject you, you won't feel so ****ty.
monkey00 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Hi all A few weeks ago I met a girl through a friend. A few months before she had split up with a long term boyfriend of about 4-5 years and she was still struggling a bit. I'm surprised no one caught this but this kind of screams red flag for me. People that have been in relationships for such a long period, (especially 5 years is a long time) have a taste of freedom. And when that happens, sometime they're not necessarily looking to jump into a bandwagon again with just anyone so easily. If you can, I'd suggest finding out the circumstances of the break up to give you more insight into what's going on in her head. If not, there are plenty of fish in the sea. In any case, I highly suggest making a move with this girl.. in addition to upping the flirtation, showing her a good time. You have competition my friend!
boogieboy Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Shes using him for validation. She just likes his company. She sounds like one of those women who needs to be around people all the time, no matter who it is. A girl that is THAT outgoing with people will have made a move by now, unless hes totally clueless to her body language. I think you were friend zoned a long time ago, cut her off for doing that to you. You cant scare her off if she likes you. But really, if you have the instinct that what you do will scare her off, then theres no tension between you two. Leave her be. Go get someone who actually is into you.
Hkizzle Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Sounds like she likes you as a friend. Btw, you never tell a woman straight up you like her unless you know for sure she likes you first. It only backfires because it scares the crap out of them.
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