ruggy Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 So in February (seems to be a lucky month for me this year), I met this woman online. 34, so she's a couple of years older than me. Talked a lot met up twice, then cancelled or "forgot" about the other three dates. I said enough with this, I'm done. Called me back, apologized and I said fine. Next week, she invited me out, nonetheless, she cancelled again. Stopped talking for about a month or so. She called me on July 4 and wanted to wish me a happy 4th of something, said I was doing nothing. Asked if I wanted to go to the city, I said sure. She came over and we went. The next two weeks, very smooth. Then, back to her old habits, telling me little about herself, and cancelled on the Tuesday when she was going to come over. I said to myself, this isn't going well, but it was her father, so I did not sweat it. That Friday, she called me at like 8:00 or something. We spoke in the morning and she said she'd be around. I'd say I'd call her when I was in the area. She called me first, twice, but I was out of range. Called her back a few minutes later and left a message. Did not hear from her for three hours AFTER I then texted her and asked her what happened. Keep in mind, she ALWAYS has her cell on her. For someone to call twice and then not return a call for three or four ours seemed strange. None the less, I felt something was not right. Keep also in mind that I already picked up tickets for that night as a surprise. Anyways, we also had plans on Saturday. I was so pissed that I was blown off by her, I did not even call her. She called me, said what happened. I did not call her back of Friday at 12:00 AM, when she called me. Keep in mind she called me at 8:00 PM and I called her back at 8:05 PM no answer and left a message. She said sorry, but she misunderstood or something. I said, how do you call someone at 8:00PM and I called back a few minutes later and you are not there on a cellphone. She said she did not have it on her. I said, in seven months you've always had a cell on you, now you do not. Interesting. Anyways, she called to say if we were still on tonight. Asked if I was flaking on her or something. I said, well, since I did not hear from you yesterday and I felt like you blew me off, I did not think we were still on tonight so I am already in the city. She got all pissed and said really. Is that how it is, I said, yea, I am already here. She said I am coming down, ok, fine. Told her the club, she never showed. I texted her the next day, she never responded. Two weeks later she's back on the dating sites. Weird woman. I really do not think I did anything wrong. Keep in mind the following things, which she said she would open up too, but never did: 1) private phone number, would not give it out 2) would not, after all this time, give me her last name 3) very secret about her past and family 4) would never let me pick her up at her house 5) never paid or offer to pay for anything All these things added up I just found strange. I would never let myself get emotionally attached to someone who would not open up. Therefore, never made a move on her. I just always thought something was not right. Maybe its me, but I don't do things just for the hell of it. There has to be meaning and substance. Anyways, what you all of you think?
boogieboy Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 She was usuing you as a backup for company and you let her. She was seeing other guys at the same time and you were like #5 priority. If you want renvenge, keep making plans with her, but keep standing her up. DOnt answr calls, just make plans with texts, but never show up. If she calls to ask what happened, dont get back to her till the next day. But never see her in person again. You went on waaay too long with this girl.
Author ruggy Posted August 4, 2009 Author Posted August 4, 2009 Not looking for revenge, just perspective. I'm not looking for tit for tat. Not sure about using me, as she always contacted me. I rarely contacted her first. Again, since she would not open up I did not feel the connection. Just letting things work itself out. If she called again, I really would have nothing to say to her. Just wish her well and not talk to her again.
Teslacoil Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 I find it very likely your lady friend is out and about, dating multiple people. She might even be married. 1) private phone number, would not give it out She doesn't want you calling her when it isn't convenient or when she's with another guy. It could also be that boyfriend / husband has access to the phone. 2) would not, after all this time, give me her last name Likely she doesn't want you looking her up on Facebook or somehow other making the connection that she's seeing multiple people or married. 3) very secret about her past and family If she's married or has a long term boyfriend she's cheating on, there's not much she can tell you without just making everything up. 4) would never let me pick her up at her house Doesn't want you dropping by while she's spending time with her other boyfriends, or she has a husband / boyfriend at home. 5) never paid or offer to pay for anything She's just selfish... which is also indicated by #1 - #4. Sounds like it's good riddance. I hope you weren't spending too much time and energy on this woman. She sounds like a real winner.
Author ruggy Posted August 4, 2009 Author Posted August 4, 2009 Seems so. Said she lived with her Mom @ 34 Y.O. Tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. Though, not even offering to chip in really bothered me. Again, never ran after her. She always called me. If I was not doing something that day, I said sure. Only expenses I incurred was dinner 5 times. After that, it was bothering me that she was still so flaky and non-informative about herself I started to pull back. Even with the past women I went out with, regardless on how it ended, I knew their addresses, families, and last name w/ e-mail. Not sure why she called out of the blue on July 4, but I also do not know why I attempted to start up with her again. Thought she would change or at least be different. Nothing added up and at the time where I felt I was blown off (that Friday where she called and I called her back but did not hear back from her until midnight) I felt different about her. Like something else was going on. I don't feel she played me, cause she never got anything out of me. I just feel like she wasted my time. During our first "break" I met this other woman on Match. Went to dinner with her it was going well. Was going to setup a second date, but didn't cause I thought she'd act more her age. Boy was I wrong. Missed opportunities and wasted time. I guess I should stop giving women the benefit of the doubt. Always, I can feel something is wrong with the woman even before we talk about it. Not sure why.
boogieboy Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 NEVER give them the benefit of the doubt, always be on guard...ALWAYS.
BUENG1 Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 So in February (seems to be a lucky month for me this year), I met this woman online. 34, so she's a couple of years older than me. Talked a lot met up twice, then cancelled or "forgot" about the other three dates. I said enough with this, I'm done. Called me back, apologized and I said fine. Next week, she invited me out, nonetheless, she cancelled again. Stopped talking for about a month or so. She called me on July 4 and wanted to wish me a happy 4th of something, said I was doing nothing. Asked if I wanted to go to the city, I said sure. She came over and we went. The next two weeks, very smooth. Then, back to her old habits, telling me little about herself, and cancelled on the Tuesday when she was going to come over. I said to myself, this isn't going well, but it was her father, so I did not sweat it. That Friday, she called me at like 8:00 or something. We spoke in the morning and she said she'd be around. I'd say I'd call her when I was in the area. She called me first, twice, but I was out of range. Called her back a few minutes later and left a message. Did not hear from her for three hours AFTER I then texted her and asked her what happened. Keep in mind, she ALWAYS has her cell on her. For someone to call twice and then not return a call for three or four ours seemed strange. None the less, I felt something was not right. Keep also in mind that I already picked up tickets for that night as a surprise. Anyways, we also had plans on Saturday. I was so pissed that I was blown off by her, I did not even call her. She called me, said what happened. I did not call her back of Friday at 12:00 AM, when she called me. Keep in mind she called me at 8:00 PM and I called her back at 8:05 PM no answer and left a message. She said sorry, but she misunderstood or something. I said, how do you call someone at 8:00PM and I called back a few minutes later and you are not there on a cellphone. She said she did not have it on her. I said, in seven months you've always had a cell on you, now you do not. Interesting. Anyways, she called to say if we were still on tonight. Asked if I was flaking on her or something. I said, well, since I did not hear from you yesterday and I felt like you blew me off, I did not think we were still on tonight so I am already in the city. She got all pissed and said really. Is that how it is, I said, yea, I am already here. She said I am coming down, ok, fine. Told her the club, she never showed. I texted her the next day, she never responded. Two weeks later she's back on the dating sites. Weird woman. I really do not think I did anything wrong. Keep in mind the following things, which she said she would open up too, but never did: 1) private phone number, would not give it out 2) would not, after all this time, give me her last name 3) very secret about her past and family 4) would never let me pick her up at her house 5) never paid or offer to pay for anything All these things added up I just found strange. I would never let myself get emotionally attached to someone who would not open up. Therefore, never made a move on her. I just always thought something was not right. Maybe its me, but I don't do things just for the hell of it. There has to be meaning and substance. Anyways, what you all of you think? I vote married.
Author ruggy Posted August 4, 2009 Author Posted August 4, 2009 Did I handle anything here in the wrong way?
Citizen Drawn Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Did I handle anything here in the wrong way? No, she wanted you to dance to her tune and when you refused she got annoyed about it and stropped off like a little kid. So kudos to you for that.
motive2002 Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Another vote for married. And I speak from experience. Dated a woman for three months before I knew. Looking back I feel kinda dumb for not spotting the signs, but yenno, I was younger and just thrilled to have a chick like her for a gf.
Author ruggy Posted August 5, 2009 Author Posted August 5, 2009 Amazing. She just called not too long ago. Called to say "what's up". Well, I said your behavior and the secrets around your actions are just too much. If this was to be something, it isn't anything or couldn't be anything anymore. It is safe to say you've ruined any possibility of something forming. Hope you are now satisfied. Don't bother calling me again. Have a good life and be well. Good night. Not sure why some women, seems like at least the last few I've dated, think they are the gods gift to us men. Well, for a woman who gives no information about herself, lives with her father @ the age of 34 and no job (supposedly going to school @ Columbia), not sure why she's on such a high horse. I ain't no bargain, but have a condo, steady teaching job and some sort of a semi-stable life. A life that may be one of solitude, but mine to do with nonetheless.
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