electricvanilla Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 So, my friend has been dating this guy for about a year now. They are serious BUT...she wants to test his faithfulness out. There is going to be a party in a few weeks...& she wants either me...or another female friend of ours to make a move on him when she leaves the room. Then she will walk back in to see if he took the bait and makes out with one of us or something. *Probably won't be me doing it bc I don't know how to kiss let alone be seductive, lmao* Do you think it's bad to like set up a guy like this? Or any1 for that matter... At the same time, it's not that bad bc if he falls for it...he is no good. Is this a bad idea? &in the end, no1 is going to tell him about this grand scheme...so which ever way...he won't ever know it was a set up. Has anyone ever done this before? My friend said according to a book she read, people normally do this before getting married or if they are very serious. Anyone hear of this before???
loveslife Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Ah, a relationship based on trust and honesty. Makes me tear up inside. Seriously, I think it's a bad idea. And as far as I know, it's not common practice.
Hkizzle Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 lol, entrapment.........lovely http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entrapment
Teslacoil Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Your friend is a bitch for even considering this. Lies and manipulation are no way to treat your significant other, no matter what the motivation behind them. If this was an instance where the two had only been dating a couple of weeks, and the guy in question had a "reputation" as a serial cheater, I could maybe see it. There's no excuse if they've been seeing each other for a year though. I'd immediately dump any woman who I found out did anything like this to me.
Trialbyfire Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 People rarely go this far to test anyone, unless something inside doesn't feel right, something they can't explain. This can be caused by the subconscious mind absorbing data and patterns, the conscious mind is unable/incapable of processing. If she feels the need to do it, she can either test him or she can walk away, due to a lack of trust or trustworthiness. When I do the comparison between the "trustworthiness" of my fiance and the ex-H, the two don't compare. This is a gut instinct judgement and comparison.
2sure Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 I predict that when you or some other woman hit on him to test him...that both parties fail the test.
vox Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 I hope your friend ends up old, bitter and alone. She just can't leave well enough alone. Also, I hope her uterus falls out. Bitch.
GorillaTheater Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Also, I hope her uterus falls out. Ha! And here I was, thinking the whole thing was merely tacky.
vox Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Well, in an effort to stay classy, I'll offer that I was only half-serious.
2sure Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Hey, being half as*ed is better than full on anytime
Trialbyfire Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 I'd test someone, if I ever felt the same way as with the ex-H.
Trialbyfire Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Nope, not kidding boldjack. I've learned to trust my gut instincts and if the alarms were going within a committed relationship, I would test that person, albeit with nothing as crude as this. I don't walk away from people, particularly spouses, with no hard evidence. Hard evidence comes in handy, in a divorce. Trust me, I know this!
boldjack Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 TBF, I don't know what to say? That you would consider "testing", a relationship with entrapment, deceit and conspiracy, when the man has not given a reason for it, as the OP says, is very surprising .
MSUE Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 so so so wrong...you know what..go ahead...test him...I hope he fails...that's what she deserves for even thinking of playing such low games
Trialbyfire Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 boldjack, where there's smoke, there's usually fire. People don't suddenly feel the need to test a partner, out of thin air. Something is probably off. Same thing happened with my ex-H. I got a gut feeling and put a PI on his tail. Apparently, his tail led him around. I didn't have proof of his infidelity, just a gut instinct that something was off. BINGO!!!!
boldjack Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 So let me get this straight, TBF. The BF has never cheated, the GF is lying, conniving, and mistrustful,...... and HE is the problem?
Trialbyfire Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 boldjack, you can twist it any way you want but I think more people should test their partners at least once, if they get that uneasy feeling. I would slap a PI on my fiance's tail, without batting an eye, if something felt off. But...I trust him implicitly. His actions/words mesh. If they stopped meshing and we were married, you can rest assured, I would do it in a heartbeat. My fiance knows this, so it's no secret to him and doesn't bother him one bit.
boldjack Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 You trust him implicitly? Doesn't sound like it to me. If my woman ever did anything like this, it would be over, instantly. The disrespect & dishonesty would be inexcusable.
gopher Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 boldjack, you can twist it any way you want but I think more people should test their partners at least once, if they get that uneasy feeling. I would slap a PI on my fiance's tail, without batting an eye, if something felt off. But...I trust him implicitly. His actions/words mesh. If they stopped meshing and we were married, you can rest assured, I would do it in a heartbeat. My fiance knows this, so it's no secret to him and doesn't bother him one bit. TBF, Did you or would you ever put a keylogger on the computer to see what he was up to, your ex-H, i mean?
Trialbyfire Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 You trust him implicitly? Doesn't sound like it to me. If my woman ever did anything like this, it would be over, instantly. The disrespect & dishonesty would be inexcusable. And that would be your call to make but thanks for accusing me of lying about my trust... TBF, Did you or would you ever put a keylogger on the computer to see what he was up to, your ex-H, i mean?I had access to his email account.
Adunaphel Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 I am not sure whether testing him is a good idea (testing him might save her from a cheating jerk, or might make a great guy break up with her... buit it's her decision alone), but I do not think that the test your friend has in mind is going to be very effective. Let's assume, for argument's sake, that he is the cheating type. Very few cheaters are going to cheat in a high-risk potential situation like the one you picture. A party where gf is present, where other people might see him, with a friend/acquaintance of his gf? What if he does not cheat *only* because it would be too stupid in that context? What if he responds to the advance but then turns the tables on you? ("it was clear you were setting me up, I was curious to see where the stupid game would end!") What if he is a great guy and gets so mad at the friend that his gf either has to dump the friendship or confess the test?
Trialbyfire Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 That's why I consider this test to be crude. There are other ways to test, that aren't so obvious. Since I don't know the people involved and their habits, it's difficult for me to suggest a more subtle way. Cell phones bills can be very telling.
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