AnOrdinaryCynic Posted November 12, 2003 Posted November 12, 2003 So i broke up with my girlfriend of two years (messy messy), and i decided for some reason that it would be a GREAT idea if i went out with her arch nemesis. Yeah i'm smart. ANYWAYS her arch nemesis turned out to be the most irritating person i've ever met, PLUS she was blabbing about the skeletons in my closet to her idiotic friends. Needless to say i killed that relationship right quick. Anyways since Ex #2 (chronologically) is a psychopath, she still wants to be friends and all that BS. Whatever, i tell her to take a hike. SOOOOOooooOOOOooooo logically she calls me up every five seconds crying and having spaz-out attacks. Finally i say "OK! WE'RE COOL! STOP CRYING!" just so she finally leaves me the crap alone. Obviously a lie, but she eats it up. Now i get a call about once every two weeks. Screwed up i know, but then, so is she. Anyways after some time Ex #1 calls me back up and says "hey, i'm sorry for everything, are you ok?" And i says "WHOA!!! ME TOO! :D" and i was, and everything is good. We're not dating again, but we're friends, and thats a good thing considering the hell we went through together. That was my summer and early fall. Today, Ex #2 calls me up complaining that i'm talking to Ex #1. Ex #1 perpetraited some pretty serious ****, much worse then Ex #2, but she wants to know why me an Ex #1 are all bosum buddies and i still treat her coldly. Dontcha just LOVE it when people tell you who you can be friends with? so pretty much #2 is being a typical psycho girl and is jealous that #1 and i are on good terms agian. SOOO what do you guys think i should do? Kick #2's teeth in? Thats what i'm thinking. I was debating on cutting certain individuals who cause me stress and aggravation out of my life completely. Change screen name, change e-mail, even go as far as changing phone numbers just to get them away from me. How's that for an idea?
midori Posted November 12, 2003 Posted November 12, 2003 Originally posted by AnOrdinaryCynic So i broke up with my girlfriend of two years (messy messy), and i decided for some reason that it would be a GREAT idea if i went out with her arch nemesis. Yeah i'm smart. Yes, obviously you are very smart indeed. Not to mention ethical and kind. Sounds like you started toying with the emotions of Girl #2 just to get back at Girl #1. Sounds like you never cared at all about Girl #2, it was just a new mutation in your interaction with Girl #1. Today, Ex #2 calls me up complaining that i'm talking to Ex #1. Ex #1 perpetraited some pretty serious ****, much worse then Ex #2, but she wants to know why me an Ex #1 are all bosum buddies and i still treat her coldly. Um, yeah. Because basically this is confirming what Girl #2 probably suspected all along: that she was Miss Rebound, but not just any Miss Rebound. She was specifically chosen as a way to say F*** You to Girl #1. It was never about Girl #2, never about any of her qualities. And when you found you didn't want to be with Girl #2 you highlighted her flaws. You've dealt this girl a double-whammy. She was rejected by you AND told ultimately that Girl #1 is more worthy of your time and attention than she is. Of course she was a bit stupid for taking you on in the first place, for not wondering why the recently exed boyfriend of her "arch nemesis" was asking her out. But you bear most of the responsibility for using her as a tool of revenge. Even if it didn't seem to bother Girl #1 that you were with Girl #2, can you deny that was your motive on some level? so pretty much #2 is being a typical psycho girl and is jealous that #1 and i are on good terms agian. SOOO what do you guys think i should do? Kick #2's teeth in? Thats what i'm thinking. Sounds to me like you're being a typical callous jerk who hasn't recognized his own responsibility in the emotional melodrama. Also sounds like bad-mouthing Girl #2 is a good way for you to bond with Girl #1. Is that fair to Girl #2? I think the person who needs to have some sense knocked into his head is you. By the way, how old are you? This sounds very junior high. I was debating on cutting certain individuals who cause me stress and aggravation out of my life completely. Change screen name, change e-mail, even go as far as changing phone numbers just to get them away from me. How's that for an idea? OK. Look, obviously you don't want to encourage Girl #2 to continue with the hysterics. It's just not healthy for anyone. But you might want to try to cultivate a bit of mercy and consideration for her. Show some decency and dignity. Girl #1 and Girl #2 don't like each other -- that's none of your business. You don't need to get into that. There's a connection between you and Girl #1 and you're keen on keeping that, whether as friends or whatever. Fine. But you don't need to be cruel to Girl #2 to do that. A phone call every week or two is surely not too much. I'm paraphrasing, but David Mamet (a play and screenwriter who's got lots of titles like The Usual Suspects under his belt) wrote in The Spanish Prisoner (excellent film by the way): "They will be cruel to you because they feel guilty." Sounds to me like that's what you're doing to Girl #2. I think you know you used her. Now you're keen to completely disavow her, label her "psycho" so you can be justified in blowing her off and forgetting how you used her. Lastly, I don't care how old you are: don't ever even talk about kicking in someone's teeth. If you're old enough to post on this website, you're old enough to know better.
moimeme Posted November 12, 2003 Posted November 12, 2003 AOC Actually, you sound much more the 'psycho' to me. Midori's outlined all the reasons why. I hope both girls smarten up and drop you because you don't sound much of a prize. Go look up 'empathy' and then see if you can manage to develop some.
Author AnOrdinaryCynic Posted November 13, 2003 Author Posted November 13, 2003 Ouch, that hurts. As for the violence, yeah it was just a joke. As for all the other stuff, yeah i DID like girl #2. We were good friends even when i was dating girl #1. Yeah she was a rebound, but at the time it seemed like a good idea. I regret making her the rebound girl and seeing as how girl #1 and i werent speaking, revenge or jealousy certainly wasnt my motive. I was in a bad place and girl#2 was there when nobody else was. Feelings developed that werent really there i guess.
midori Posted November 13, 2003 Posted November 13, 2003 Originally posted by AnOrdinaryCynic As for all the other stuff, yeah i DID like girl #2. We were good friends even when i was dating girl #1. Yeah she was a rebound, but at the time it seemed like a good idea. I regret making her the rebound girl and seeing as how girl #1 and i werent speaking, revenge or jealousy certainly wasnt my motive. I was in a bad place and girl#2 was there when nobody else was. Feelings developed that werent really there i guess. Really? You two were friends before you started dating? That's not what it sounded like here: Originally posted by AnOrdinaryCynic So i broke up with my girlfriend of two years (messy messy), and i decided for some reason that it would be a GREAT idea if i went out with her arch nemesis. Yeah i'm smart. ANYWAYS her arch nemesis turned out to be the most irritating person i've ever met, PLUS she was blabbing about the skeletons in my closet to her idiotic friends. Needless to say i killed that relationship right quick. Anyways since Ex #2 (chronologically) is a psychopath, she still wants to be friends and all that BS. Whatever, i tell her to take a hike. You didn't describe Girl #2 as your friend prior to dating her, you specifically identified her as Girl #1's "arch nemesis." And it hardly matters that you and Girl #1 weren't talking when you started dating Girl #2. Girl #1 knew that you were dating Girl #2 -- right? -- and that's all that you would have needed to get revenge. I would find your explanation more plausible if you had described Girl #2 as a friend of yours who never got along with Girl #1. Then I could imagine that you weren't motivated by revenge in dating Girl #2. But I think you showed your hand in your first post, even if you're reluctant to admit it to yourself. Whatever. You'll tell yourself whatever you like. I happen to think you're kidding yourself so you won't have to feel bad about using Girl #2. I'm not suggesting that you deliberately set out to use Girl #2, nor even to deliberately seek revenge on Girl #1 by dating Girl #2. But it sounds like there were underlying motives to your actions. And it sounds now like you're very eager to distance yourself from those choices. That's what it looks like to an outsider, given what you've said, and the way you've said it.
moimeme Posted November 13, 2003 Posted November 13, 2003 I was in a bad place and girl#2 was there when nobody else was. Feelings developed that werent really there i guess. So what was all the BS in your first post? You trying to come off like some tough smarta$$? You did a good job, because you made yourself sound like a complete jerk. So decide which the real you is. No matter which way you come out, it's skanky of you to have done what you did and it's skankier to now try to be rotten to the girl who was 'there when nobody else was'. Now I really hope they both drop you. And that you grow up before you get into another relationship.
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