kassy Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 ok so I met this guy last friday, we get on great, I stayed over and we just snogged and chatted and that was all. He got up went to work and was like please be here when I get back, but after I woke up I went home, we've been texting ever since and chatting on FB, I hope he's going to ask me out this weekend, but he hasn't so far (but he does have a huge deadline at work this thursday so understandably preoccupied). Anyway he's only here for 2 months all up working on a tender for a project, if his company gets it he'll be here for a few years, if not he'll be gone in a month from now. So for what I know of him I find him amazingly attractive and just the coolest guy, and think he'd be amazing in bed (and I think he'll have had a lot of practice!). He's super sweet but also really filthy (in a good way ) Anyway my problem is I don't like sleeping with guys I don't know - I won't lie I've done it before on ONS's - I want to be comfortable with a month of great sex with him, but I just don't understand why I am so self conscious about sleeping with him. And I'm sure most people have this fear, but what if I'm crap in bed ?? Any suggestions on how to get over this and just have the fun with him I actually want to have! This is really annoying me, I just feel so immature!
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Just to be clear - you want straight-up sex, with no hope for a relationship? Or are you maybe realizing that you want more than just sex and that's what's making you self-conscious?
Author kassy Posted August 4, 2009 Author Posted August 4, 2009 I guess what I want is essentially a one month fling... I don't think you could really call 1 month with an end date (which is almost certain) to be a relationship... but if I am sleeping with him I would want it to be exclusive... How can I be so conflicted... it really shouldn't be... I am just making a mountain out of a mole hill and I know that but I don't know why, and want to stop being rediculous... just wondering if anyone else has ever felt like this and resolved it... I'm not usually this pathetic haha
Hkizzle Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Most ONS are alcohol fueled which removes worries about consequences. Instinctively though women evolved to fear having sex with a man that won't stick around. It's to avoid getting pregnant and then the man doesn't help bring up the kids. That's your instinct coming out, so even if you consciously want to have sex with him, your instinct is creating second thoughts. Hope you understand the concept.
Author kassy Posted August 4, 2009 Author Posted August 4, 2009 ok so if that's my instinct... how do normal people overcome it... I mean I don't want to be drunk continuously for the next month
Hkizzle Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Well it's hard to overcome instinct. For example if someone goes on a diet, they can consciously want to not eat, but their body will still make them feel hungry.
Author kassy Posted August 4, 2009 Author Posted August 4, 2009 haha so basically you're saying there is no hope for me, fantastic. Oh well guess unless anyone else can shed some light on how I can just stop being an idiot and enjoy a month of hopefully great sex with a guy I find very attractive... then I guess I'm just going to be drunk a lot
Hkizzle Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 Just go out and have fun and don't think about it. Let things happen naturally........
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