aerogurl87 Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months or so. We had a made a plan for me to move up North with him in less than a year since we're both going crazy not being around each other. So, yesterday we discussed me moving up North earlier than next year. At the earliest it would be some time during September after my visit. In the grand scheme of things I'd love for that to happen because honestly I'm at my wits end. I've never been a big fan of LDRs except for when I'm in one with someone I don't really care about, but when I'm with someone I cannot absolutely live without it's a whole other story! I'm starting to go crazy without him being here, it wasn't so bad at first but the more we see each other, the worse it gets. To put things simply, I'm about to lose my mind. I keep thinking of how nice it would be to do something as simple as hold his hand in the car. This LDR is really starting to get to me. I talked to my boyfriend about it earlier tonight when he took me on a virtual date on Second Life. That game really is great for adding some spice and romance to your LDR. Ok, but back on topic. He tried to reassure me by telling me he we'd be together again soon in a month. And yes it did help me a little, until I thought about how I'd have to be leaving after 3 days of being with him. That in itself made me sad again. I mean my boyfriend has been great and things are wonderful between us, but my heart is breaking everyday I'm not with him. I can't hold him when he gets home from a hard day of work, I can't have him around whenever I want him here. If I only got to see him once a week, I'd even be ok with that. But at this rate, I'm not sure if I can go on much longer... I guess what I need is just some words of encouragement. I know I can stick things out if push comes to shove because I love him so much and our relationship means the world to me. But lately I've just been feeling down about him not being here. *sigh*
Mountainlove Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 I know how you feel!!! I feel the same about not being able to be together with my boyfriend. We have been apart for 6 months now in which we saw each other only twice for 2 weeks. I always get days when I feel like crying because I miss him so much and just need him. In the past I realized that by keeping really busy it is the only thing which helps with the pain. So try to get busy, do things for yourself (even if that seems hard) meet friends and do something new. And do yourself a favour don't think about the pain you will feel when you leave him after your next visit - enjoy the time you have together as much as you can instead. Everytime I see my boyfriend I refuse to think about the day when I have to leave again- and that usually works. Also think about the time you can be together again -there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And remember the reward you get at the end - him. Just remember that you are not alone I believe everyone in here knows how you feel and have felt like that or feels like that!!! It is normal because long distance relationships are the hardest thing!!!!
Just Call Me Reba Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 There are several things that have helped me. One thing is...I take tons of pics when we are together. Then I look at them as I post them on myspace alot. I am making a scrapbook of our times together which brings me closer to him in thought and remember the fun we have and will have again. Also we always lay down together at night and talk cuddle talk until we fall asleep together. I felt kinda goofy at first doing this because I'm 50...but it is so soothing. And it's 2am for me when he does it as he work swing shift, but I love his voice in my ear before we fall asleep. Videos are good too with the digital cameras... Maybe you already do some of this...but it does get your mind off the missing him and helps you focus on the good. This is the hardest thing about a LDR is the missing part and believe me after 4 years of it...it never gets better. But you learn to cope.
Author aerogurl87 Posted August 5, 2009 Author Posted August 5, 2009 This is the hardest thing about a LDR is the missing part Yeah it is horrible. I think I'm going to try taking videos of us together when I get a new digital camera (lol I broke my other one ) I think that would really help me, being able to just see and hear him when he's not here. But thanks everyone for your words and ideas. I'm gonna try some of them and hopefully that'll help me.
Just Call Me Reba Posted August 5, 2009 Posted August 5, 2009 Just to hear him laugh or talk...and see him at the same time!
espearite Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 I know it wouldn't be a replacement for seeing each other IRL but having wecams and Logitec Vid conferencing helps us a lot. He also texts me through his phone which is unlimited usage. I know, LDRs are expensive! I wish he and I could go back to doing virtual dates though (we were on IMVU and that's where we met), but he doesn't like to do that sort of thing anymore. Hm.. maybe over the vid conference? LOL... I hope it works out for you and him and you are both together soon.
Stall Tactics Posted August 7, 2009 Posted August 7, 2009 Yeah it is horrible. I think I'm going to try taking videos of us together when I get a new digital camera (lol I broke my other one ) I think that would really help me, being able to just see and hear him when he's not here. But thanks everyone for your words and ideas. I'm gonna try some of them and hopefully that'll help me. As long as you guys keep communication up and you surround yourself with reminders of him, you can pull through. What's important is that you keep up communication. Be aware that I don't mean cloistering. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and whatnot! But you should definitely keep a fluid, natural line of communication and see each other when you can. I don't recommend texting your ass off and running up a bill, though, as that will put undue pressure on the relationship and you will suffer in other areas. Just remember each other fondly and keep your focus. It's easier than you think!
Author aerogurl87 Posted August 7, 2009 Author Posted August 7, 2009 I don't recommend texting your ass off and running up a bill, though, as that will put undue pressure on the relationship and you will suffer in other areas. Just remember each other fondly and keep your focus. It's easier than you think! Lol we both have unlimited text messaging so it doesn't really run up either of our bills. Plus it comes in handy when our work schedules are at odds with one another. But yeah I asked him if he thought I was being clingy or smothering him the other day because in the past some of my exes said I have a tendency to be clingy at times. But he said no, I guess because he likes to talk to me as much as I love talking to him.
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