Reggie Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Mine has remained intact. Part of me wanted to sever all ties and start over. But, a couple things factored in. First, they supported me and gave me valuable information about my XWW's past. They encouraged me to get out asap. Second, my XWW, due to parental disapproval and her own anger at their support for me, was isolating the kids from her parents for a time. The kids were very close to their grandparents and my visitation days were their only access. Third, I liked my in-laws, including my XWW's brothers and uncles, all of whom Iplayed golf with regularly. I saw no reason to abandon relationships I enjoyed for years. The effect of this was interesting. I know for a fact I was being villainized to my XWW's Om and her group of friends that supported the affair. I believe the discrepency in seeing how her family and my kids viewed me served to plant seeds of doubt re her description of me. Finally, the OM's lack of access to her family served to put great strain on their relationship. He was made aware in no uncertain terms that he would never be accepted. This pressure served to crack the relationship and get a dishonorable man out of my kids' lives. I had to tread fairly carefully in not coming off as too bitter or too angry, as it would lend credence to her portrayal. Essentially, I remained calm and matter of fact , for the most part, although I was pretty torn up inside. When an uncle or family friend would greet me and inquire re how I was doing, I would be calm , but I would not avoid talking about the facts of the affair. As recommended by some experts, I told my kids the truth about the Om and my XWW, but was careful not to editorialize on my feelings about who their mom is. When my daughters told me that their mom had met a new guy and was dating, I simply told them it was not true.
MSUE Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I severed all connections when I divorced my XH...however we don't have children together...and yes they were great to me but they are not my family anymore...that room is now reserved for whomever he dates or marries in the future...it is no longer my spot
bentnotbroken Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I have been blessed. They are very supportive and they love their grand kids above all else and I am good with that. They take too kindly to anybody hurting them, including their own son. I would bet that had he and ow stayed together, her life would be hell with them.
HsMomma Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I hadn't stayed close to my exH's family, until fairly recently. My exH remarried a few years back & I gotta say, I've really reaped the 'halo effect' when compared to her. My daughter just returned from spending time getting to know that side of her family (they live halfway 'round the world from us), and my former mother-in-law apparently had nothing but good things to say about me (interesting, considering she used to think I was the anti-christ's spawn ). As for my former brothers-in-law, I wasn't close to them when my ex & I were married, so that hasn't really changed.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I am still fairly close to my exH's family. Just this weekend I went to their town for their 50th wedding anniversary. My exH and I went golfing together, with our son and some others, had a big family dinner, family pictures (even one of me, exH, and our two kids), and went to church. I was invited to stay overnight but didn't think it would be appropriate, and wanted to get home and check all the new posts on LS. It is different when there are kids. We are still a family, two parents to two wonderful kids. We are just not married to each other and do not live in the same house, and do not have a love relationship/marriage. I didn't ask him how his gf would feel about me being there, she was not there as she lives 800 miles away (as of a year ago), they've been together 2.5 years. I hope she wouldn't care, as I am not a threat to her at all, that is, if they are still doing the LDR thing I. never ask. My last bf probably would have forbade me to go LOL
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