gunner03 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I am a canadian soldier and have returned home for 14 days. I have been away for 6 months already, and have 3 more to go. I got home a couple days ago and my girlfriend of 9 years came and got me actually engaged. the next day she told me she did not want this life anymore and was not happy, I really did not see this coming and was looking forward to coming home to her. I talked with her a bit she told me she thinks there is someone else out there for her that can be there for her all the time, she also told me she has more fun with other people. I called in a social worker to speak to both of us and she didn't even want to try. I told her to leave so she went down the street to a friends house. She has said stuff like she wanted to stay in this home for 3 more months because she has nowhere to go. I love her to death and don't want to be doing this it is a nighmare. I think i need to get a lawer and protect myself. She has been talking with friends the last two days and says she dosen't want to leave now but is this just because she dosen't have a plan?If i let her come back now is she going to clean me out?and i feel i cannot trust her anymore i'm really confused as to what i should have done or what i should do...
tojaz Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 By all means protect yourself, but at the same time, if you want her back, why wouldn't you let her come back? I would ask her if the both of you could see a counselor together so she can work through her concerns. Make it a condition of her return if you'd like. TOJAZ
Author gunner03 Posted August 4, 2009 Author Posted August 4, 2009 Thanks for the advice. I've had the weekend to try to think this through and try not to screw up. She came by to talk three days after she left. Her mother and father have called me as well, which is strange to me. When she said she wanted to talk i was expecting her to walk in here say she didn't want to leave and try to jump my bones as I have been away for so long, instead what i got was she didn't want to leave me but also did not know what she wanted to do. I felt like she tryed to make me feel guilty by saying i was throwing her out on the street and i reminded her she said she wanted to leave. This is braking my heart because i reallly needed someone to be here for me emotionaly and physically. I cannot wait for here to figure herself out because when i have to go again is she going to be here or not, and i will not be here to take care of everything if she decides to get up and leave.
tojaz Posted August 4, 2009 Posted August 4, 2009 I cannot wait for here to figure herself out because when i have to go again is she going to be here or not, and i will not be here to take care of everything if she decides to get up and leave. The hardest thing to come to terms with, is the fact that there is nothing you can do. You have no control over what she decides and when she decides it. The best you can do is show yourself in the best light threw your actions (not words) and make other arrangements for your personal affairs so you are not dependent on her for them. That is all you can do right now. TOJAZ
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