Yicks, I've fallen completely for a foreign guy living with his girlfriend!!

[princess_grace]

Okay, my story is a little complicated, but please help if you have any advice/experience.

 

I met a fantastic foreign guy randomly on a night out when drinking with my work mates. He was by himself at a bus stop, and I started talking to him. We found out we had heaps in common, like music, favourite literature, travel, sense of humour etc etc, and I told him to come along with us, and he followed.

 

Eventually he explained that he has just moved from overseas to Australia to live with his Australian girlfriend. I said that's okay, we're just going to be great friends, I can tell. We chatted endlessly, and had a fantastic, spontaneous night, eventually loosing our friends. Then, incredibly intoxicated, I kissed him, and then we made out (amazing amazing). And I know I shouldn't have done that, but it happened.

 

He messaged me a couple of days later saying that it was an interesting night, asking if I got home safely, and that his girlfriend might read his messages so keep it clean (obviously I wasn't too impressed).

 

I replied back, however, this message didn't send (often happens with my phone), so I recieved no answer until a week later, when he sent me a message saying that it's a pity that we can't be "great friends" with the silent treatment. He said that perhaps it was for the best, and au revoir. I messaged back, no response, so I called him, and found out he hadn't recieved any of my messages. So he suggested that me meet up some time.

 

I got my phone fixed and we messaged occassionally, but trying to avoid it because friends had warned me against the whole situation. Also, he said that he had told his gf that we had met and were friends.

 

He suggested we meet up Sunday night, I said I can't because my mum is in town, but if it's an early night let's meet up after. I called that night and we organized for him to come over to my suburb to have a drink, which he did (although he was a little hesitant at first), we had a fantastic conversationover cocktails, sparks all the time, and then we headed back to my house to chill. I also found out that he had been dating his girlfriend for 2 years, and that they had been apart for 6 months while he got his VISA together -- apparently he took his time with it though. I also found out that we have a mutual friend which makes this all risky i suppose.

 

We chatted, listened to music, and on the bed I asked him to kiss me. He politely declined. He said that we need to figure out the situation, and suggested that we should either be friends, or have just a purely physical relationship. Grrr *heartbreak*. I said I didn't want to just have a physical relationship, it's not my style. We left it at that.

 

He ended up staying over, and as we drifted off to sleep (spooning), we started fooling around (he initiated it, and I was reluctant at first, but was swept off my feet, and we didn't go the full way). Amazing amazing, he's the best kiss I've ever had, and so tender haha!

 

Anyway, he left in the morning, I went to work, feeling happy but depressed at the same time. I really feel low now. I know I'm a bad person for doing what I've done, it's out of line, but I really like this guy, and I connect with him so well, a rare thing for me. I mean, it's not like he's married?

 

I feel sick, and can't stop thinking of him now, I just want to be with him.

 

But at the same time, I feel so so bad for his girlfriend, and feel terrible about what I've done to her. I understand if you are all upset with me, I'm pretty terrible. The smart thing would be to forget it all, I shouldn't dare to hope and it's wrong of me to do so anyway. I mean, he never made any promises to leave his girlfriend, and they are obviously close. But there's no denying the closeness and connection between us. I've never felt this way before, and don't know if I will again.

 

I would love some advice. Where to now? Should I not see him anymore at all? Should we just become friends? Please help!

[KG23]

I would walk away from this guy before you get too emotionally attached and fall in love. You probably won't be able to stay "just friends".

 

Has he even mentioned splitting up with his gf?

[2sure]

He said that we need to figure out the situation, and suggested that we should either be friends, or have just a purely physical relationship.

 

How much plainer can he be? He told you, point blank that he was interested in either a friend with no sex OR a FWB, minus the friend part.

 

He DIDNT say he was conflicted about his relationship with his girlfriend or that he was contemplating any more than sex or platonic friendship with you. The way he said it, he wants either a friend he can tell his gf about OR sex on the side with someone his GF knows nothing about.

 

Certainly, it is up to you to decide which of those two you want to be but dont cloud your decision making process with options that havent been offered.

[Reggie]

Not sure I understand. I thought you mentioned he had a girlfriend. Wouldn't this be dishonest to get involved with him?

If he was single, it would be okay. Just one of my deeper analytical thoughts.

[norajane]

The smart thing would be to forget it all

 

Yes, yes it would. He doesn't want to leave his gf - he just wants sex on the side. Or just friendship. You clearly cannot handle just friendship, as is evidenced by your behavior so far, and the way you are letting your emotions runaway with you.

 

So just drop him. He's not such a great catch, you know, since he's apparently easily willing to cheat on his gf. You think he wouldn't do that to you? For that matter, are you certain he doesn't already have someone else he's banging on the side?

[GreenEyedLady]

He just wants you to be a booty call.

 

What a weirdo-either we be just friends or have a physical relationship only?

 

If you want to be a booty call, keep answering his calls and messages.

 

GEL