DSM2709 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 How do I stop harping about the relationship and why it went bad to my ex, who is still in contact with me? The more I keep bringing stuff up to her, it pushes her further away from me, and I don't want that. I just can't help myself sometimes, and it sucks. I want to stop, but I can't. Please help. I had a chance to see her this weekend, and I blew it by bringing up the past to her, and it pissed her off. I don't want it to come to a point where she totally tells me to stay away from her for good.
boogieboy Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Yeah and while you are trying to be a new and improved you, you cant be in contact with her. If theres ANY reason she makes for being upset at you, then you already blew all your chances. I think you torpedoed this because you didnt give her any space at all. You really need to cut contact with her and stop being co-dependent. Thats the only way you will heal about it. From what you already did, you have no chance to get her back, so leave her be, dont take any calls from her, and move on to someone new. Once youstart with someone new you wont think about her anymore. But you have to cut the cord first.
utterer of lies Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 How do I stop harping about the relationship and why it went bad to my ex, who is still in contact with me? The more I keep bringing stuff up to her, it pushes her further away from me, and I don't want that. I just can't help myself sometimes, and it sucks. I want to stop, but I can't. Please help. I had a chance to see her this weekend, and I blew it by bringing up the past to her, and it pissed her off. I don't want it to come to a point where she totally tells me to stay away from her for good. Let go, you're just hurting yourself.
Darren09 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 She obviously knows how you feel about her and that you love her. If she really cared she would show it. She would act on it. I know you dont wanna hear this but you have to let go........ its so ***in hard to do but it really is time. you are better off alone in the long run
MSUE Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 why are you still in contact? do you ultimately want her back? if you do you better take a step back and realize that overanalizing and discussing why it went wrong its going to push her away...you need to start by being a friend first...if you are not wanting to get her back or you plain and simple know its a done deal on her end then maybe going NC might be the best as it will give you the time and space needed to heal and move on...once you have done that then its time to figure out if its healthy to have her as a friend...it most cases it isn't as there are always feelings lingering somewhere somehow
Thomas X Forever Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 you need to start by being a friend first... [ if you want to get her back ] Uh.. It's quite the opposite. Try being a friend and you're done, friend zoned, and you'll stick around long enough to witness her find someone knew, which not only will hurt you because your hopes went up in flames that being her friend would get you somewhere, but ALSO because now you get to KNOW she's with someone else. Lovely
CaliGuy Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 How do I stop harping about the relationship and why it went bad to my ex, who is still in contact with me? The more I keep bringing stuff up to her, it pushes her further away from me, and I don't want that. I just can't help myself sometimes, and it sucks. I want to stop, but I can't. Please help. I had a chance to see her this weekend, and I blew it by bringing up the past to her, and it pissed her off. I don't want it to come to a point where she totally tells me to stay away from her for good. Stop staying in contact with her. Go no contact. There is no reason for you to stay in touch with her. Doing so will only cement her reasons for leaving and delay your own healing.
Recommended Posts