Birdy Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 And when we do care' date=' you get bored and leave. What a viscious cycle.[/quote'] UTTER AND TOTAL BULLSH*T!! When we were both melting into each other, every day was heaven and I wanted to die right then and there!! I was truly happy for the first time since forever and I did everything in my power to give him my all, just like he gave me!! I could have died in those moments!! Men who believe the crock statement you just made are the cause of all the problems in 99% of relationships!!
You'reasian Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 UTTER AND TOTAL BULLSH*T!! When we were both melting into each other, every day was heaven and I wanted to die right then and there!! I was truly happy for the first time since forever and I did everything in my power to give him my all, just like he gave me!! I could have died in those moments!! Men who believe the crock statement you just made are the cause of all the problems in 99% of relationships!! It really is a viscious cycle. Guys find themselves caring about a woman, say a little more than she cares about him, and she gets bored and leaves him. The next time around, the guy doesn't care about the woman, letting her persue and she'll do all of these things for him. The strange lesson from sums of experiences, for alot of guys, is that the less we care, the more women will - the more we care, the less women will. Make sense?
Birdy Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 Our love was originally pure, 100000% reciprocal and not based on any STUPID CAT-AND-MOUSE GAMES. Then I thought he kicked me out of his house and his life, and so I wrote an angry poem and some other stuff and left! See, love begets love and hate begets hate! And now, I'm starting to fade into the same nonchalance he's showing me. I'm seriously just about to leave, as wonderful as I thought he was from day one and still kind of do. SO THERE GOES YOUR SILLY, DYSFUNCTIONAL THEORY. PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE WHAT MAKES VIABLE, POTENTIALLY FULFILLING RELATIONSHIPS GO DOWNHILL, faster than you can say "Wait, but we loved each other!" Every time he brings me flowers, I'm all over him like cheese on a Big Mac. Every time he ignores me, I get pissed and shut down. Your theory does not apply to me in any way, shape or form. I fell madly in love with him way before any of this bullsh*t happened, like he did with me. Now, I'm seriously considering flushing the whole thing down the toilet before he hurts me any worse.
You'reasian Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 Our love was originally pure, 100000% reciprocal and not based on any STUPID CAT-AND-MOUSE GAMES. Then I thought he kicked me out of his house and his life, and so I wrote an angry poem and some other stuff and left! See, love begets love and hate begets hate! And now, I'm starting to fade into the same nonchalance he's showing me. I'm seriously just about to leave, as wonderful as I thought he was from day one and still kind of do. SO THERE GOES YOUR SILLY, DYSFUNCTIONAL THEORY. PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE WHAT MAKES VIABLE, POTENTIALLY FULFILLING RELATIONSHIPS GO DOWNHILL, faster than you can say "Wait, but we loved each other!" Again, sorry to hear this Fay/Birdy. I like to take my time, getting to know someone and when I love them, I love them fully - maybe I'm old fashioned.
vertical Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 1. You LEFT him. And you just said that you left him because you thought he was going to kick you out. Im sorry for your problem as well.. but you say you didnt want the cat and mouse games. Well, isnt leaving him on a thought that was not fully backed up by proof a little game? Why did you leave him in the first place if you didnt want to make him feel like he lost out on you? And you are suprised he is doing this?? 2. I think you need to calm yourself down and think about everything. The going is getting rough, and you are just going to cop out and run away... again?? I think you need to evaluate yourself and your actions so you can see why he is getting mad and is so guarded. What you thought is true love could not be, you know.
hoping2heal Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 I think DSM had an excellent point all about this a few posts back, when he mentioned he was 2 weeks out of a relationship and still messed up over an ex. I'm not sure if you saw it or not, but what did you really expect to get out of this? You can't play house with someone elses remnants and expect to get the american dream.
Birdy Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 So. According to you people, I'm being used as a comfort object and/or scapegoat for a heartache. I'm being used. WHY IS IT that I always end up having to be punished for other women's mistakes. I'M NOT OTHER WOMEN. I DIDN'T DO THIS TO YOU!! I DIDN'T ABUSE YOU, CHEAT ON YOU AND PLAY GAMES WITH YOUR HEART FOR OVER A YEAR!! I NEVER WOULD. Why do I deserve this? There is no justice, no karma, it's all bullsh*t. He's pushing me away and it's working. This morning I woke up not really giving as much of a sh*t. TO ALL YOU WOMEN who do this to men so that WE, the good ones, are left with scarred and damaged shells to call husbands or boyfriends, who make our lives a living hell and put us through pain we never really earned: F*CK YOU VERY MUCH. MAY YOU ROT IN HELL.
Birdy Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 And A, to quote poor old King Ludwig I of Bavaria, "You will never find a heart like mine."
xpaperxcutx Posted August 8, 2009 Posted August 8, 2009 Fay, your writing reminds me of Shakespeare. So much passion and anger, yet all wasted on an undeserving man like him. Maybe this is a fairy tale gone wrong, but it could just be the characters that don't fit the role. Next time, do seek out a better Prince Charming who hasn't suffered a heartbreak.
Birdy Posted August 9, 2009 Posted August 9, 2009 Fay, your writing reminds me of Shakespeare. So much passion and anger, yet all wasted on an undeserving man like him. Maybe this is a fairy tale gone wrong, but it could just be the characters that don't fit the role. Next time, do seek out a better Prince Charming who hasn't suffered a heartbreak. Sorry. I know I'm cheesy and tend to wax poetic. Sadly, I talk and think that way too. I want to stay with A. I can't afford to lose him. I've been talking to him about some things. He's told me before that he "wants to fall madly in love with me" (emphasis on the madly, and purposely implying that he isn't there yet). And of course, the question of the ex bugs me to no end and, knowing damn well I shouldn't have gone there but just had to, I dragged it out of him today that he was in fact madly in love with her when they were together. He claims he isn't anymore. Then I also dragged it out of him that he's spoken to her on the phone a couple of times because she keeps calling him begging him to take her back, guilt-tripping him for choosing someone better-looking and thinner over her, and a redhead to boot (as if all that even mattered), and according to him he keeps telling her she needs to grow up, work on her issues and her compulsive lying, and that she hurt him too bad and acted like a b*tch and he won't take her back. But the point is he's taking the phone calls of a girl who is actively trying to steal him from me. Should I even allow this?? I mean, I talk to exes including my most recent one, but there is no pursuit involved from any of the parties. We're just chit-chatting like pals with no romantic anything. His convos with her, on the other hand, could be construed as humoring her attempts to get him back... WTF? Why is he still talking to her? Ugh. We've had a good day today and yesterday. But what I wouldn't give for an L-bomb right now. I want him to love me for real. Also, you all are going to kill me, but I confessed to him that I've been sleeping in my car because I have no other choice (initially I was staying with a friend but that didn't last long), and now he's forcing my hand and I have to live here again. I really don't want to!!!!! But he'll think even less of me if I go back to car-dwelling. This sucks balls.
Birdy Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 ANOTHER CONVERSATION last night. At some point I asked him, "How do you feel about me? Brutal honesty, please." He said, "I fall in love with you more every day." I'm going to take that and run with it, because it lit up my day. He also, strangely enough, said that living with me was only bound to strengthen that.
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