William_Wallace Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Hello. I just got done texting my wife (we don't talk lately) and basically told her where to stick it. Not sure if I did the right thing. In a nutshell my wife and i seperated on Jan. 1st because i was drinking too much. depressed after losing my job and not bringing anything to relationship. we both wanted to make it work though and she was behind me 100% even though i was out of the house. I went to therapy, stopped drinking completly, started working out, eating healthy and basically got back to the person we talked about when we seperated. In March we started dating again and things were going well, slowly but well. we were building up trust again. she really wanted me around again and it felt good. we had a fight one night when i couldn't make it over to her house (i live a good 35 miles away) but i came the next day. she was really upset but i thought we patched things up ok. I saw her again the next weekend but she was distant, didn't want to hold hands, etc. I tried to play it off and we spent the weekend together at her house and things were ok. three days later i get a call saying that she feels we should not see each other, text, email or call for a while. she wouldn't say how long. i was sure there was someone else and asked her about that. she said she did find someone "interesting" but that wasn't the reason. I didn't contact her for 15 days but then broke down and called. she was a bit cold but asked that i still hold on. the following week i called her on my therapists advice and asked if we could go to counseling. she said "not right now" (which i found odd because she's in school to be a marraige counselor) and said that she had "moved on" but didn't know what the future holds and that she still was "in" love with me. so anyway, we both share a cell phone and i got the bill a few weeks later. i noticed that two days before she asked for no contact there was a new number calling her. i tried it out and got a VM for a "patrick". I checked the next month and more and more calls from this patrick guy. so long story short. we are in the process of divorce. i was trying to be the nice guy and take care of it all because she said she couldn't handle it. I finally discovered for a fact that she is indeed seeing this guy, she is taking him on a trip (even though she said she had no money for divorce) and she is madly in love with him. this is all within 3 months of us dating and working things out. so I texted her today and basically called her out, told her she can pay for the damn divorce herself since she basically started things with this guy while we were still trying to work things out. i said some mean things to her and now i'm wondering if i was right to do that. she has emotional issues and has been seeing a shrink for years. her dad was verbally abusive to her as well. i feel bad but she really hurt me and completly gave up on us for a guy that works as a delivery driver at a pizza place (and he's in his late 20's). i kept thinking we would be back together but once i found for sure about this relationship i just cracked and figured i'd "burn it down for good". what do you think? was i right or just let myself get too emotional? thanks for listening.
Gunny376 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 It varies from one relationship to the other, but I would say? Yea you did the right thing in telling what you told her! Anyone who's willing to 'trade-down' from what they had with you? Its pretty much a done deal!! My XHEX was planning on leaving me for a Lance Corporal ~ one step above a Private First Class, considered some guy that worked in a chicken processing plant. What can I say? I married back when I was young, dumb and stupid! I'm better off (as you are) without her!
mark982 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 hell ya you're better off. she just wants to test drive this guy,makes you fall back plan. time to cancel your joint cell plan,and everything else.
hopesndreams Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Yes, you did the right and only thing, to tell her to stuff it and be done. She strung you along for months while you worked on you, hoping you could get back together and even went on dates, all the while she was seeing her pizza boy and getting closer and closer to him. If you didn't cut it off? You would be getting more of the same lines of bull, trust me on this. my H gives me doesn't know what the future holds crap and whenever I do tell him we are done, finished, he starts crying the blues saying how he can't live without me, etc, etc...it just never ends unless you make it end. There are those out there that want more than 1 person in their life, and your W is one of them. If it weren't for this pizza boy it would be someone else. Be prepared for her trying to feed you lines of bull when pizza boy makes his final delivery and he doesn't wait around for his tip.
LisaUk Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Hell yeah, she's a cake eater! You are only questioning yourself because you feel gulity because you love her and because you are probably feeling anxiety that you have burnt your bridges. If this is the case, try not to sweat it, if she's a cake eater she's going to do what she wants regardless of anything you say to her. Personally, good on you and now cut all finacial assistance, cell phones, lawyers everything, this women cheated on you!
phineas Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 My wife was doing the exact same thing when my BS meter pegged & I called her out. She lied like a cheap bathroom mat from walmart. The only difference was after seperation, between me & OM she was getting it at least 5 times a week. ICK. I gave her more chances than any sane man should. and she choose to string me along. Yours is doing the same thing. either they all get a pamphlet in the mail or human nature is just that screwed up for a good size of the population.
Gunny376 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 My wife was doing the exact same thing when my BS meter pegged & I called her out. She lied like a cheap bathroom mat from walmart. The only difference was after seperation, between me & OM she was getting it at least 5 times a week. ICK. I gave her more chances than any sane man should. and she choose to string me along. Yours is doing the same thing. either they all get a pamphlet in the mail or human nature is just that screwed up for a good size of the population. :lmao: :lmao:
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