Woggle Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I have noticed that some women really do resent it when a man has his own friends and is able to enjoy himself and have fun with them. I notice that certain married or involved friends I can't invite out to do something without their women throwing a fit. My ex went out of her way to isolate me from my old friends because she claimed they were a bad influence. A theory I have is that a good friend will always be honest with a man and they don't want a man realizing that there is a better life without her. I always tell my friends that they deserve better than how they are being treated and none of my friends liked my ex. I should have listened to them. They have no problem whatsoever with my current wife and she has no problem with them. When this type of woman gets involved with a man she wants him with no support system whatsoever. I think this is why so many men end up depressed and lonely after divorce. They give up their friends, their family and everything else in order to please her and she still divorces him and/or cheats on him.
Hkizzle Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Some men do it to women too with their friends... Insecurity, and competing for their time.
D-Lish Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Woggle, I don't get it- I always thought you were some bitter damaged single guy by your posts- but you have a wife that is apparantly pretty cool... Why do you hate women so much?
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Woggle, I don't get it- I always thought you were some bitter damaged single guy by your posts- but you have a wife that is apparantly pretty cool... Why do you hate women so much? You should read his thread about finding the shining light of hope when it comes to romantic couples. Apparently he's surrounded in his daily work-life by unhappy, bitter, jilted men.
Author Woggle Posted August 3, 2009 Author Posted August 3, 2009 Woggle, I don't get it- I always thought you were some bitter damaged single guy by your posts- but you have a wife that is apparantly pretty cool... Why do you hate women so much? You noticed that I used the word some which does not imply all?
lucy9216 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 With my ex there was actually a good friend of his that when we frist starting dating I had absoloutly no issues with him. I personally thought he was a little selfish but never said he could not hang out with him or didn't forbid any of their guy nights. Until one night his friend told me that if I ever hurt my boyfriend he would kill me and my daughter I was absoloutley furious. I know some people say "if you hurt my buddy I'll kill you" or something like that and they are empty threats, but he mentioned my daughter and I could tell the guy was dead serious. I did not want him anywhere near me or my kids and I really did not want my boyfriend to hang out with him at all, I thought it was disrespectful towards me and my daughter and my boyfriend did not even stick up for me. His friend finally gave me a sincere apology 2 years later, I forgave him and we all became friends. Was I wrong for trying to keep my boyfriend from his friend? I think it depends on the circumstance. I can honestly say that is the only time I have ever done anything like that.
Author Woggle Posted August 3, 2009 Author Posted August 3, 2009 Him threatening your daughter was way over the line so you were 100% justified. I am not talking about stuff like my friend's wife throwing a fit because I wanted to take him to a hibachi steakhouse and my dime and she didn't want him in an all male enviroment. This actually happened.
lucy9216 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Your friends wife should let him go, what's wrong with being in an all male enviroment? Men need that sometimes. What would his wife say if she wanted to have a brunch with her girlfriends and he told her no? I don't think she would like it very much at all. Sometimes it does depend on their situation though, if they are married and have kids or no kids and either the husbond or wife is taking off all of the time then I would see a reason for concern. I don't know what their relationship is like, does he go out alot? because if he does she may feel like she is being neglected and he should want to stay home with her? dunno just throwing out some possiblities as to why she would restrict him from going.
monkey00 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I can't say I've ever been in a situation where a friend's SO did not like me. Their SOs are cool with me and we're usually in the same circle of friends. However there have been cases in the past where I did not like/approve of my friend's SO. There was one time my friend's SO picked up on it and I just played it off. However I had my reasons because in my initial impression I felt she was too controlling in his life and the fact that he hung out with me less after getting with her. After a few more other times of hanging out with them, we're pretty cool with each other as she's a good person.
allina Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 I don't, and honestly, none of my female friends in relationships do either. I like my fiance's friends and they like me. I never mind when he spends time alone with his friends and I enjoy spending time with my friends. His friends, or my friends have never, ever been an issue in our relationship.
carhill Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 If a male feels 'hen-pecking' is unhealthy (and I do, vehemently), he should surround himself with other males who feel likewise and who deal with their relationships with that in mind. I guess I was lucky. My wife loved my male friends (and vice-versa), and with good reason. They're great people. As to why, in the OP, it's a psychological problem, IMO, most likely projecting their own issues onto others. The only time I 'resented' my wife's female friends was when she was prioritizing them and their opinions of our marriage above our marriage. This bitching about your marriage to others, especially those who look your spouse in the eye, is cr@p in my book. That's unacceptable for me on so many levels that it caused an irretrievable rift. Incompatibility. Have a nice day
Peanut9330 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 Honestly I dont know becasue I want my significant other to have friends and I need someone who will understand that I have friends as well. To be in a relationship with someone and then tell them that they cant have friends is just unfair and selfish in my opinion. You cant isolate yourself from everyone, I had a BF like that he didnt want me to have any friends and if I wanted to go out with them we would have a huge fight about it and I would just stay home. I never minded that he had friends or wanted to hang out with them, so you know it goes both ways there are guys who have a issues with their girlfriend having friends and then there are the women who have the same problem with their boyfriends. Either way it goes its not right.
Els Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 You'd be surprised how many men resent a woman's friends.
monkey00 Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 You'd be surprised how many couples there are out there who don't have friends of their own. They're each other's friend and they do everything together, which also means they're in each other's face quite often..I know some couples like that. It makes me wonder how healthy of a relationship it really is to not have friends outside of your relationship. I think everyone needs a support system of some kind - family helps to a certain degree, but I think friends are much more helpful because they're able to relate better.
tigressA Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 My now-ex and I had a situation where he didn't have any friends to spend time with where he's from because they all relocated after high school, and the two of us had met in college, so the friends he had there he only saw when he was visiting me every other weekend at school. I never had a problem with them; I even hung out with them every so often and I would let him go off either on Friday or Saturday night to play poker or watch stupid YouTube videos for hours, and he'd be in the cafe all afternoon on Fridays playing pool while I was in class. But one thing that always irked me was the fact that some of them would make comments to my ex like "Oh, are you ALLOWED to hang out with us tonight?" And my ex would turn to me and say, "Babe, am I allowed to hang out with my friends tonight?" It really annoyed me, especially coming from one of my ex's friends who was almost never around because of his own girlfriend (now fiancee).
Phateless Posted August 3, 2009 Posted August 3, 2009 It's insecurity. Some women are afraid their man will go out with the guys and meet another girl. I know some guys are afraid of the same thing. One of my guy friends and I have talked about this at length. I always remind him that you can't control anybody and her staying faithful is up to HER alone. If she's trustworthy it doesn't matter how hard the guys come on to her. I think some people are just insecure and freak out whenever we want to take time away from them. Hell, I'm sure we've all had friends like that too.
Recommended Posts